Basketball Wives LA Recap: This Episode Is Brought To You By Jackie’s Cleavage

Recaps

By Madelyne27 | Wednesday, September 19, 2012 | 5:00 pm | 6 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Basketball Wives, Recaps

The grammar these ladies use just kills me. I’m all for a little dialect and style to your method of speech, but holy cow moly, these ladies just sound ignorant.

Homewrecker Spice and Opportunistic/Whore Spice are sitting down talking about Old Spice and Opportunistic/Whore Spice looks so nice. She’s dressed appropriately and has on nice make up and I just realized that I am liking her more and more. Sister Spice shows up with two hula hoops in her ears and I feel myself falling into a coma. (We’ll see this is a trend this episode.)

 Oh good, more big hoops. Go big, or go home… I’ll go home.

Opportunistic/Whore Spice says she wasn’t too impressed with Old Spice’s sense of style, but she’s v diplomatic, until Homewrecker Spice informs her that Old Spice has her own clothing line. It baffles me too… I think Old Spice is an awful dresser. (I wonder if they have an Old Navy in LA… because they make some v comfy clothes at affordable prices.) I know I liked her last week, but I’m starting to find Sister Spice mind-numbing. Sister Spice and Homewrecker Spice continue to talk about whether or not Old Spice ever apologized. (SHE DID. Not well, but she did.) Maybe that braided wrap is squeezing Homewrecker Spice’s brain cells (or cell).

“I know everyone thinks I look adorbs in my headscarf.” 

Ugh, now Sister Spice, Wimpy Spice and Homewrecker Spice are meeting to talk about Wimpy Spice’s “little jewelry line”, but really just to rehash the food tasting AGAIN… Wimpy Spice apologizes to Sister Spice for inviting Old Spice without asking, and I’m hoping that Sister Spice and Homewrecker Spice both realize that when she says “she apologizes”, that she’s saying “she’s sorry”… I know how confused these ladies get.

 She’s in her happy place. Where unicorns fly and purple lipstick looks good.

Homewrecker Spice interviews that she does feel bad about prank calling Old Spice and because of some of the mean things they said to/about her. Sister Spice stands firm that she has no desire to make nice-nice with Old Spice.

Opportunistic/Whore Spice is getting all dolled up for a photo shoot for King Magazine. She looks so friggin cute without make-up on, I just wish they’d stop now, but they won’t, because they next thing I see is Opportunistic/Whore Spice with a massive Princess Leah bun on one side of her head while wearing something that Blanche Devereaux may have worn on Golden Girls. She interviews that the cover of the magazine is up for the taking and that she’s ready to bring it.

 WTF? Stylist! Wardrobe! Hair! Is this a friggin’ joke right now?

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Madelyne27

It's never too soon. It's never too far. And it's never the wrong time.

6 Comments

  1. 1
    Moli Moli
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 6:11 pm

    I haven’t watched this season(yet) but you had me in tears in a couple of moments and laughing with my head thrown back and clutching my stomach is several more. This was a GREAT recap :) .

  2. 2
    Pari
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 7:15 pm

    I haven’t watched this episode either, but I feel like your recap was way more entertaining than the actual episode would be!

  3. 3
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 9:19 am

    @Madelyne27 It sucks that you got such a crappy episode this quick. I had lots more fun reading your recap than watching it.

    Draya didn’t fool me. Last week she said the real reason she didn’t want to shoot with Brooke. Draya’s got T and A. But Brooke’s got J and B.

    If Brooke’s man likes Gangsta Spice’s shimmer that much. To where he’s giving her presents. That means presents for us! Of better drama than Jackie being batshit crazy.

    Laura sure has fallen off! I think she looked better before though. Even prettier in her face. Not everybody’s cut out to be a skinny bitch.

    Sorry for not getting back to the other thread sooner. You’ve probably already figured out the word anyway. It can mean a side piece and or skank and or random hookup. You know how the rules for slang words are loose.

    Anyway it was a radio presenter that 1st called it Basketball Jumpoffs. Talking about the original BBW. Where the only married 1 had already started her divorce up.

    The way I used it was just me being a smart ass. Because on this 1 I think 2 or 3 of them are actually married. And the others aren’t really jumpoffs. Just exes and baby mamas etc.

  4. 4
    vecchiogio
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 10:56 am

    I haven’t watched the show yet this season but this recap (and last week’s) are incredibly well done and insanely funny. I laugh now everytime I hear the word “spice”. I seriously doubt the show is more entertaining than this. Great work!

  5. 5
    Madelyne27
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 1:40 pm

    well, it appears that @kthxbai and I are the only ones watching this cinematic gem. I’m totally stealing the term “jumpoff” in reference to chicks that i can’t stand… (there are many).

    thanks for reading, i’d love to say the show is worth watching… hopefully it will get better (and by better, i mean much, much worse).

  6. 6
    thunderpussy
    Posted September 21, 2012 at 3:27 pm

    I too didn’t get a chance to watch either, so excited to watch now that I hear it was boring… agree with Pari… your recap was funny (as always) Been busy this week so my DVR is so full of trashy reality goodness it lost about 10 I.Q. points. Should I bother watching or just BALEET.

    i was really disappointed to find out that these broads weren’t actually married to basketballs… Well, Jackie “might” be (GET IT???? CLEAVAGE JOKE)

    is that a thong on Draya’s head? Did she and her nerdish friend attempt to create the perfect woman?

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