Basketball Wives LA Recap: This Episode Is Brought To You By Shimmer, Delusion, and Lupus

Recaps

By Madelyne27 | Friday, October 19, 2012 | 12:45 pm | 7 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Basketball Wives, Recaps

NO, BTCH, IT’S MY PARTY… SO STOP CRYING. 

Early the next morning, Scary Sister Spice and Opportunistic Spice meet at Jump Cut/Out for breakfast… is that a place only for jump-offs? Anyway, they talk about Old Spice and Homewrecker Spice and I’m getting so bored with this non-fight. Thankfully, Scary Sister Spice brings up Gangsta Spice’s concert and I wish to myself that Opportunistic Spice and Gangsta Spice would get along because I like both of them… But then I start crying because I realize I just may have found myself invested in this world that horrifies me.

Jump-Offs Restaurant, Coming Soon. 

 Meh.

Scary Sister Spice says the show was good, but then goes into trying to explain Old Spice’s outfit. And I’m sure Opportunistic Spice can’t even imagine it until she saw this week’s episode. Because words just can’t describe it. Opportunistic Spice says that Old Spice is a “project”… yes, a science project.

 I agree. This whole lunch is meh.

Opportunistic Spice says she’s planning a birthday pool party for herself, and I find my heart rate picking back up because I’m dying to see these ladies get their hair wet… but who am I kidding. No one will swim. (And by will, dare I say can?)

Gangsta Spice, Wimpy Spice, and Homewrecker Spice meet up at Waffle Chix and Wimpy Spice asks why Homewrecker Spice would beat up a senior citizen. Nice one, Wimpy Spice. Someone fed you a great line. Gangsta Spice wishes that she and Opportunistic Spice could get past their differences and move on…

 Chix be wafflin’.

Wimpy Spice talks about Old Spice’s behavior at Gangsta Spice’s concert over missing her mom because she and her mom used to party together. Homewrecker Spice asks if this partying happened in 1950. Another well fed line. I’m enjoying the new writer. Homewrecker Spice is tired of Old Spice always trying to steal the show. Wimpy Spice interviews that Old Spice is nice, it’s just the other people in her brain that aren’t quite as nice. (Seriously, someone give the new writer a raise, he’s doing my job.) Wimpy Spice says she needs a break from Old Spice because she feels like Old Spice is using her and then just dismissing her.

 Small, Medium, and Large… but backwards.

 Oops, probs should not have taken that extra Xanax.

 Oops, probs should not have taken that extra Shimmer pill.

Wimpy Spice states that she will not be going to Old Spice’s wedding and then goes on to tell us which body part she had waxed during Old Spice’s wedding last year. Whatever part it was, it was bleeped out, so I’m gonna pretend she said “eyebrows” so that I don’t have to pour boiling water in my ears.

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Madelyne27

It's never too soon. It's never too far. And it's never the wrong time.

7 Comments

  1. 1
    whataboutmaura
    Posted October 19, 2012 at 3:11 pm

    Jackie is INSANE. Just the fact that she has a wedding every damn year is mind boggling. I bet she expects new gifts every year too.
    Anyway, this show is pretty damn stale but I read on bossip that Shaunie O’Neal hinted at reworking the cast on her twitter feed in response to a person tweeting that she should just end the series now. Personally, I like Laura and Draya and I think Brooke is a good addition, she’s stunning btw. Gloria and Malaysia are so boring even though I feel like Gloria could have some interesting storylines, I mean she was engaged to Matt, then they broke up for a while and had beef on twitter, now they are together again blah blah blah, but if she isn’t willing to actually discuss those parts of her life what’s the point of being on the show? The BBW franchise needs to be completely overhauled to make it compelling- all these women do is go out to lunch! Maybe if they shot it more like a real housewives that would make it a bit more entertaining.
    Thanks Madelyne, I watched the show last year but haven’t been following this year but I do read the recaps and I appreciate you sticking with it and making them enjoyable to read!

  2. 2
    featherhead
    Posted October 19, 2012 at 3:19 pm

    During Jackie’s last year wedding – Draya said she got her cat waxed. You didn’t miss a thing. :)

  3. 3
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted October 20, 2012 at 7:30 am

    @Madelyn27 You’ve probably already found out Brooke’s got some past on her. And is older than she looks.

    Jackie’s like the opposite. She’s not as old as she styles herself to look. I’m going to need her to quit doing the lace tights instead of pants thing though. It’s just not good for the world in any way.

    I was already to roll eyes and laugh at Bambi’s song. But I kind of liked it. I’ll get it from her youtube if I can figure out which 1 it is. I don’t want to have to go through her whole mix tape.

    Good thing this isn’t Real Housewives. Then we’d have to call it THE LOLLIPOP INCIDENT.

  4. 4
    featherhead
    Posted October 20, 2012 at 10:22 am

    You would think with all the $$$$ Jackie and Doug have and with her being on TV (and being a model, rotflmas), she would get herself to a hairstylist and get her hair did. That thing is a mess!!

  5. 5
    Madelyne27
    Posted October 22, 2012 at 4:01 pm

    I have to watch myself tonight, bc I tend to go a little crazy when the basketball wives tweet about their show while there’s a debate on TV… they did it before and I wanted to scream… but I guess we can assume they won’t be voting, unless there are cameras following them.

  6. 6
    Xanadu
    Posted October 24, 2012 at 11:24 am

    great recap, thanks for the laughs

  7. 7
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted October 24, 2012 at 11:43 am

    Agreed Featherhead. Mrs. Jackie and Malaysia. Their hair is a hot mess.

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