My stage name is V.
Honey, um, that’s an X.
Wimpy Spice and Gangsta Spice head somewhere to introduce Gangsta Spice to Old Spice. Wimpy Spice shares that she’s already told Gangsta Spice that Old Spice is a little bit crazy. Immediately Old Spice channels one of her personalities that sounds sweet with a side of delusion. She wants it to be clear to Gangsta Spice that they are trying to place a stigma on her that she’s crazy, but she’s not… and it doesn’t bother her one bit… and as she says this, she is clearly totally and completely bothered by it and wants to strangle Wimpy Spice.
Table for 3?
…and I’m like, Mr. Unicorn, why did you eat all my Skittles?
But Old Spice doesn’t let Wimpy Spice keep her down for long, because the next thing you know she’s talking about her wedding. Gangsta Spice (the “rapper” from last episode) perks up because apparently she’s a wedding planner this week. But Old Spice doesn’t even hear that because she’s determined to fking tell Gangsta Spice that all the ladies know that Wimpy Spice is homophobic, so they don’t know if she’ll be attending the coming out party for Doug wedding this year. Really, Old Spice? When exactly did that happen? Do you even know what homophobic means? Does Wimpy Spice? Did y’all Google it? I think Old Spice thinks it means “a wimp” (because it would make sense to say that they all know that Wimpy Spice is a wimp). Wimpy Spice might think it means “a purple unicorn” (because she might be a wimp, but she KNOWS she’s not a purple unicorn).
I don’t believe in unicorns, because I’m a veterinarian.
I totes wish I knew what “homophobic” meant.
Anyway, it was completely uncalled for and probably the only thing she could think to say because she was in a v “crazy” place. As they all leave, you hear Old Spice say “This is too much fun”. For who? Whom? Whatevs.
On a basketball court, in a world that I didn’t know existed on reality TV, we see Sister Spice and Scary Sister Spice playing basketball. And playing well. They both look beautiful and natural and I worry that my black heart is beginning to melt and that I might have to deal with real feelings again. They finish the game and sit down and talk about the last year and about the distance between them. I still don’t know what the cause was, but I almost don’t mind not knowing because they both showed what I believed to be honest emotion. Especially Scary Sister Spice… she was clearly hurt by something Sister Spice did or didn’t do, but she finds out that she wasn’t there for her younger sister as she went through a painful miscarriage while being separated from Matt Barnes.