Bethenny Ever After Recap: Flashback Ep Cuz There Wasn’t Enough Footage

Bethenny is back from shredding in Aspen, flirting with boy toys and everyone seemed to live.  This episode promises to be some type of flashback episode, to show us how far Bethenny has come.  

We open at Bethenny’s money pit new apartment, and the contractor is showing Bethenny and Jason where their 70 inch TV will be hanging.  73 inches???  Who picked this TV Sigmund Freud?   

 Bethenny wants to talk about more important things, and I have to agree:  THE BAR.  But she doesn’t want it to look like a TV cabinet that happens to have liquor in it… “Booze paid for this apartment,” Bethenny says.  She wants a booze church for them to pray to the booze gods to thank them for their good fortune.  Quite frankly, I could use a drink right now…

Pass the Skinnygirl, it’s going to be a LONG episode

Flashback to RHONY, with Bethenny first putting a bar together for Jill Zarin’s charity event which was the beginning of the end of their friendship, to her signing bottles of Skinnygirl Margarita while 7 months pregnant, the crazy success of Skinnygirl to the deal with Jim Beam that set her up for life.  

Back to the Bar… Bethenny wants to enjoy her life- she’s worked her BALLS OFF!!

Yup, No Balls there

Back to the Flashback of some of Bethenny’s not so successful moments.  Bethenny pushing her cookies, her lackluster book signing at Costco which she parlayed into a success by buying dried blueberries, to her abusing her wedding planner, Skating with the Stars, her shape wear line, her wedding, etc.  

 Continuing in flashback mode we see Bethenny getting more successful: her office not having a seat for every ass, selling out her shows…

 Back to the bar… Bethenny just wants to be able to have some warm nuts on her bar!!!  What women doesn’t?  

 Brynn, the cutest girl on earth, is going to Spanish Class. 

I’m the cutest

And her teacher is uber hot. 

Muy Caliente

Bethenny wants to focus on Brynn and to be there for her, not to regret  that she was off doing some business deal when she should have been reading Brynn a  story.  Or using Brynn to negotiate labor contracts with some Mexican migrant workers on the farm that sells limes to Skinnygirl.  

 Flashback to Bethenny in labor and Jason and Julie, her support system, fast asleep, announcing to Jason’s parents that they have named the baby, Brynn.  Leaving the hospital with the baby, Brynn getting baptized in the Gina’s Church of Voodoo, Brynn’s first Christmas, Brynn getting her butt wiped.  Ok… they’ve gone too far.  

Back to Spanish Class.  Bethenny says that Brynn is always in a good mood and people ALWAYS want to be around the person who is having a good time!!  Brynn is being set up for life of drunken good times laced with booze and cocaine!  Perfect. 

Party Girl, Brynn Hoppy, circa 2028

Bethenny and Jason are meeting some gangsters for dinner.  Louie, her Dad’s best friend, is the kind of guy who you go out with around the holidays, you order the left side of the menu…. and it shows. Louie… have you ever considered a salad?  Louie tells Bethenny what a GREAT guy her Father was… the same guy who, on his deathbed, refused to see his daughter?  Yep… that GREAT guy.  Bethenny explains to him that she considers “John” her father, who is her stepfather.  Bethenny explains how she referred to her stepfather as “Dad” and her biological Dad as “Bobby.”  Louie doesn’t like to hear this. 

 
Louie Bagadoughnuts

There’s another guy there- Danny, and he says he knows “John” but he’s never met him.  Ok. ?!?!?! John raised Bethenny.  Sure, it wasn’t all rainbows and unicorns, but he did the best he could.  And the last time they talked they had a really nice conversation, and Bethenny told him that he was the only father she had ever known.  Albeit, she’s completely damaged and her upbringing was completely jacked up.