Bethenny Ever After Recap: Flashback Ep Cuz There Wasn’t Enough Footage

 Flashback to RHONJ where Jill Zarin joined Bethenny for a day at the track.  Bethenny’s father’s friend gave her the ultra-appropriate birthday gift of black lacy lingerie.  Cut to an interview of a bug-eyed Bethenny saying “Holy Inappropriateness.”  Amen, sister.  Cut to a flashback of the pre-wedding interview with the Justice of the Peace where Bethenny says that no one from her family is coming to the wedding.  That is sad.  Cut to Bethenny seeing horrible things in the press that her mother said about her.  And Bethenny lamenting that she doesn’t want Brynn to be like her- she wants her to be happy, not a survivor like Bethenny.  

 Back to the dinner with Vinnie Boombots and Bethenny tells Louie, “Biology is the least of what makes someone a parent.”   Louie responds that Bethenny’s father said “What does blood mean?”  meaning that Bethenny’s Dad didn’t feel any kind of bond with her.  Jason’s head is spinning because he grew up in a Norman Rockwell painting and couldn’t understand how Bobby felt nothing for his own daughter.  Louie responds “Different strokes for different folks.”  Ok, Mr. Drummond.  When Jason voices his disbelief, Louie calls Jason a “Johnny Come Lately.”  Whoa.  Those are fighting words- although it looks like Louie could pick his teeth with Jason’s bones.  Let’s get one thing straight Louie…  Jason latched on to Bethenny’s wallet SEVERAL years ago… Not so lately, pal!

I’m bought and paid for, pal!

 Jason just sits back and drinks his white wine spritzer and keeps his mouth shut.  Louie goes on to try to tell Bethenny that her biological Dad loved her, and Bethenny is like- Hold the phone, pal- my Dad never once called me on my birthday or even said ‘I love you,’ let’s not try to make this into a rainbow.  So Louie just says…well I’m loyal to your Dad.  Bethenny tells him that she’s not angry, but she has moved on and she has her own family now.  So they “cheers” to “Good Times.”  Um, yeah, like the GREAT time they are having at this dinner? 

The 5 Families had a less tense dinner

FIELD TRIP: To the Wendy Williams Show.  Bethenny has loaded Wendy up with some SkinnyGirl loot although Wendy has big jugs so she wasn’t quite sure that what jacket size she is.  

 
My Jugs ARE hard to imagine

Bethenny is looking to talk to Wendy about a Talk Show Trial because Bethenny has been offered a couple of shows.  Bethenny only wants the kind of show where she is in charge.  So Bethenny is grilling the makeup guy about the show, what goes on, what the hours are, etc… and I gotta hand it to him, the guy knows what’s what. 

Manager Schmanager, if you want the straight poop, come talk to me

Bethenny is getting dressed in an outfit that Jackie picked out.  Hey, at least she has pants on this time.  

For once I’m not showing my camel toe so the World

Wendy introduces Bethenny to the audience and they do a segment doing girl talk about Bethenny’s rise to fame, landing a man, getting knocked up, becoming a mom, etc.  Bethenny wants to enjoy her success but also to give back and inspire people.   And she could be “giving back” soon by losing her pending lawsuit.  Backstage Julie sucks Bethenny’s ass by telling her how awesome her segment was.  Julie… you already gave your notice… knock of the brown-nosing nonsense already.  

Next up, the Dr. Amador segment. Bethenny tells him she’s in a good place with Jason and that they are in a good place.  Bethenny tells Captain Shipwreck about visiting her stepdad and says that they had a nice dinner and that he acknowledged the fact that they had a crazy life and that Bethenny’s Mom really did love her, but there were “circumstances.”  Bethenny is considering calling her mother to try to possibly heal the wound, she just thinks that her Mother is damaged and she has never really been angry with her.  Hmmm.  Could have fooled me.