Bethenny Ever After Recap: Flashback Ep Cuz There Wasn’t Enough Footage

 Dr. Amador surmises that they might already have something of a friendship.  With friends like them… who needs enemies.  Doc then begins his own flashback asking Bethenny to remember a time when they talked about her not having a family.  A time?  One, single, time?  From where I’m sitting this is every, single, appointment.  And Bethenny only slightly remembers this conversation. He also says “Well, you had two fathers…”  Does this guy actually LISTEN?  But Bethenny calls him on it and says that her having two fathers “is a gigantic, steaming bag of bullsh*t.”   Her biological father was, in no way, a father or a family.  Doc says that in the end, SHE was a family to HIM.   And she did her part and “took care of her side of the street.”  In that respect Bethenny sees that she really should talk to her mother.  Doc commends her for coming into therapy genuinely wanting to change and for making the effort and challenging herself.  She met her first goal of coming to therapy:  not to run.  Even when Doctor Gilligan got them lost at sea… She didn’t run.  She tried to swim, but the had a 6’2” albatross named Jason around her leg drowning her. 

Gilligan was a more competent seaman

 Mini Cip: Bethenny and Jason meet Joey “Picasso” to look for cans.  At Joey’s shop they see a toilets that open automatically, close automatically, wipe your ass, apply lotion, make you a cocktail and slip a roofie in it.   

Back at The Mans… Jason is complaining about all of the work with the apartment and says “When it comes to me paying extra (of your) money, I’m going to get loud!”  Because that’s money off of his alimony!  They profess their love for each other.  They are opposites.  She is straight.  He is not.  But they are making it work. 

 FLASHBACK to them fighting over beef tartare, visiting Jason’s parents, her completely insulting Jason’s parents, her feeling like he’s making her feel like she’s nuts. Bethenny losing her sh*t at her birthday party, them fighting before their 3 hour tour on the SS Minnow ending with Jason prancing away, Jason feeling like a hired hand in Mexico…the list is endless.  

 Bethenny wants for she and Jason to respect each other and be nice to each other.  Um, Like they are a happily married couple?!?!?

 FLASHBACK to her loving Jason in a sash after his “Bachelor Party,” her falling in love with a chicken gyro on the street, them getting a marriage license for the paparazzi.  Good times, Good times. Their wedding, Jason’s mom being happy she finally unloaded her gay son on a female earner, Brynn’s birth, them taking about their faux heterosexual sex life with Gina as their pimp, Jason trying to “score” on the private jet and then throwing up in the barf bag at the mere thought.  

 Back to Brynn’s room that they are decorating like a Gay Bath House.   Talking about Jason, 3 years ago at his “bachelor pad” and how similarly decorated they were.  But Bethenny can’t just let loose she still wants to keep their Ikea dresser.  Because when they divorce, it’s easier to split particle board than oak.  This leads them to talks of another baby.  And that it may or may not happen.  Jason wants another child… to up that child support payment.  

 Next week…Julie is leaving and moving day.  They will be moving their stuff into closets and maybe something will be coming out of a closet.  Although, unlikely, as there will probably be a Season 4.  

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