Bethenny Ever After Recap: Ludicro-sity (new word, mine)

Aaaaand we’re back!  From Mexico!  And we just jump right in – Maggie actually quit!  Damn, I wish we had more backstory – Maggie just got interesting and then she up and left.  She writes Bethenny an e-mail we’ve probably all written, “I love you, I love the opportunity, thank you so much for your kindness, but PEACE!  I’m out!”  Maggie’s was a little bit nicer, but that’s the jist.  Julie thinks the intern didn’t realize just how all-consuming working for Bethenny Inc. would be, and she obviously didn’t have the ambition to take her reality star mileage out for a spin.  At least Julie put in a good couple of years and got her own promos on Bravo before she exited the crazy.  Young people.  No commitment.

There’s some discussion of whether or not Jason will step in, and Bethenny lies her pretty little face off when she says that there’s nothing he would like better!  There’s nothing else he wants to do!  Bethenny obviously didn’t watch last week’s episode.  If Jason were to accept a position with the company, he would be second in command to Bethenny, and act as a conduit between her, Jackie and whatever poor sap they con into filling Maggie’s sad little seat on the floor.  Oh, that’ll be great.  As it stands, Bethenny admits to checking all of Jason’s “work” for the company because he’s not there full time and is therefore more likely to make mistakes.  Putting him in a superior position to Jackie, who knows her shit back to front, and will probably end up training him in some capacity, is only going to make him feel like less of a man.  Though, working in a company of women, maybe that’ll be some miracle reverse psychology and he’ll just turn into one of the girls – literally.  Here’s hopin’!

Looks like it’s time for more of the slowest home décor ever in existence.  I think I’m just spoiled by house flipping shows that build you a new bedroom while you’re getting your hair done or something.  Bethenny, Jason, and Designer Jr. head to Pro Design to find tile for Bethenny’s bathroom.  She’s in fine form, I must say.  She’s ignoring Jason’s opinions more than usual, and she tries to be funny when asking the Croatian man who owns the place if Croatians are “into tile,” like, as a culture.  Predictably, she comes off kind of stupid.  But, when she brings up Russians liking vodka, that does segue into the guy taking her into the fully-functioning bar he has set up in one of his showcases.  Like, no joke – everyone sits down and has a cocktail.  Brooke even cracks a smile when she discovers an antique slot machine, but it doesn’t last long when she discovers that the slot machine doesn’t work.  I crack a smile when I see a candy jar full of Nutri-Grain bars on the bar.  Awesome and disappointing at the same time!

Then, Bethenny starts going on about how Jason didn’t want a bar in the new apartment and what a stupid idea that was.  I don’t know, I see both sides on that one – their place isn’t THAT big, and you’re only really ever going to use a bar when you entertain.  That said, what Bethenny says is true, “No bar in the place – the bar paid for the place.”  It would be kind of weird for the founder of Skinny Girl Cocktails not to have a bar in her apartment.  However, when she starts talking about having a second smaller bar in her dressing room, both Jason and myself draw the damn line.  Having a bar in your closet should be on the AA checklist of things that make you an alcoholic.  But, like I said, Bethenny’s in fine form, so instead of having a reasonable conversation with Jason about the ludicro-sity (new word, all mine) of such a thing, she makes fun of him for coming from a place of no, and tells him not to worry – she never makes wrong decisions.

Pick your joke, Gasmii: Bethennny never makes wrong decisions -

- but Jason sure does! – two out of three previous fiances agree! – except for continuing to boat.

- brave statement to make from under that particular hat. Commercial!