Beverly Hills Nannies Recap: Amber’s On the Outs


By PennyDreadful | | 4:55 pm | 15 Comments

Commercial.

We’re back to Heifer, Kyri (my heart is old, it holds my memories) and PBJ in a marathon photo shoot involving, apparently, every article of clothing any of them own.  Amanda is running to and fro assisting, until at last the photog says it’s a wrap. 

Take the photo.  This is my wife’s best side.

 

Exhibit 2 in PBJ’s forthcoming murder trial.

Later, Kristin is checking in with Cindy to see how Scott is doing.  Cindy says how great he is, and then says she’s having her family photographed, and wants both Scott and Kristin in the picture.  I assume that’s so when things go south, she can gleefully cut out their faces.  Or is that just me?

Finally, we’re at the Heif/Amanda/Justin/Lindsay dinner, at Crustacean.  Heif seems delighted to see Justin.  There’s there’s some banter in which she disses him, but I think that’s her idea of showing affection.  That and expressing milk.  Lindsay mentions Justin did her blowout, and Heif is dismayed that she didn’t know he could do that.  You were too busy ordering him around and belittling him, honey.  Heif (by this point, pretty wasted) is giving a party and invites Lindsay and Justin – but Justin will be working.  He tells her he’ll only go as a guest.  Good for you!

Indentured servitude is long over, sister.

Heresh to yoo an — an — my boobz.  Boooooobz.

Commercial.

We return briefly to more of Lucy being a toddler and trying to bite Drunky.  Kristin says if that happens call the parents.  I say if that happens, call the cops.  Let’s see how the little monsters like juvie! or wherever it is they lock up problem kids.  And if they don’t lock up kids, then throw the parents in the hoosegow.  You’d be arrested if your dog bit someone, why not your kid?  We’d see better parenting then!

Commercial.

We’re back at Crustacean.  Justin and Amanda share a tete-a-tete in which he tells her to say “no” more, and she says that’s not her style.  Meanwhile, Heif is sharing to Lindsay how much she likes Amanda.  Back at the table, Heif (who is still nursing, so what’s up with all the booze she’s guzzling?) proclaims she emits “magic milk, baby”.  Isn’t that what Michael Jackson gave kids?

Apparently some “magic milk” hit Amanda in the face.

And finally, we get to the best part of the ep.  Kristin arrives at Amber’s to give her a piece – perhaps the only piece? – of her mind.  Kristin shares she’s sick and tired of Amber trashing her reputation, she wasn’t hung over, Amber has to stop the lies.  Well get an injunction against everyone who’s ever seen the show, honey.  Cause a) she’s not; b) you were; and c) no need cause it’s the truth.

Named for lurid serialized stories (so like today's reality TV) that sold for a penny a copy in Victorian Britain, former National Spelling Bee finalist and multiple Science Fair award winner PennyDreadful has been writing for TVGasm since 2011, and cites MST3K as inspiration.

Follow PennyDreadful on Twitter at @kcvinweho.

 

15 Comments

  1. 1
    labowner
    Posted August 22, 2012 at 5:19 pm

    Shayla needs a job so why didn’t Kristen offer the twins to her?

    Laughed so hard I was crying with Lindsey and Justin. Love them. And Justin’s idea is great because it is men and more than just baby-sitting. He took an idea and expanded it – I see a bright future for this man. And if he can get Lindsey’s money to back him – he is set.

    I still don’t get why Drunky doesn’t assert herself to say I want to help on the business side. She doesn’t need to know a thing about it. She can do the the books etc.

    Thanks again Penny.

    Kristen and Amber are both wrong but too stubborn to admit.

    Excited we get to see a reunion. I guess it will be Lucy, Justin, Amber, Scott, Kirsten, Amber and maybe Shayla.

  2. 2
    MrsMiaWallace MrsMiaWallace
    Posted August 23, 2012 at 12:21 am

    Great great recap!

    I have grown to hate Kristen. First of all, her business doesn’t even exist yet and I haven’t seen her help anyone too much yet.

    Did you catch when she repeatedly said that Amber wasn’t her friend and couldn’t work with someone who wasn’t a friend. I think her grasp of business acumen is pathetic and Amanda seemed barely able to play her role and agree.

    Also I’m not an Amber fan, but damned if she didn’t look rational and sane and professional during that argument. I kind of believed that Kristen was sick until then and when she started being 13 years old and talking about breaking Amber’s heart I really decided she deserves to fail miserably at everything she ever tries.

    Also that dress Drunky wore… wasn’t it exactly like all the dresses and clothes we keep seeing nannies wear to look good for the moms? I cannot get a fix on wtf this business is? Lindsay(?) has 4 kids and still spends 80% of Justin’s time just hanging out??

    I was very happy when Justin turned down Heif – he and Amanda are my favorites and I’m surprisingly growing to like Lucy!

  3. 3
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted August 23, 2012 at 6:25 am

    @MMW, I’d spend 80% of my time with Justin. Wouldn’t you?

    Thank you, Penny, for the education. When I would see the chumminess, I guess that’s what I’d call it between employers and the nannies I would wonder what’s with that. Now I know. It’s a SoCal thing. Understandable in Justin’s case.

    The funniest things about the show are Kristin’s thinking she runs a “business” and Drunky thinking she could be a nanny.

  4. 4
    jp
    Posted August 23, 2012 at 8:37 am

    So this goes to show that Kristin really is the worst of the show bc Amber was totally the more logical/likable one in their argument (although of course the whole thing is kinda petty, but hey its reality tv). I loved the line about how food poisoning feels alot like alcohol poisoning.

    @MrsMiaWallace YES I was dying during that part about how all the nannies had to “get along” and be friends for the business to work. Since when is that a business requirement? It sounds to me like Kristin just has a dream of everyone clamoring to her like she is the queen.

    @MrsMiaWallace I also feel the same way about Lucy… not my normal kind of person that I like but she is doing alright in my book recently!

  5. 5
    labowner
    Posted August 23, 2012 at 10:01 am

    JP and MrsMW I believe she wants them to get along so we don’t have a repeat of Kristen blowing off her fill in duties. Easy to do when you don’t care for the person.

    Out here in California the work environment is more about how well you get along with co-workers, not how well you do the job.

  6. 6
    MrsMiaWallace MrsMiaWallace
    Posted August 23, 2012 at 11:21 am

    @labowner… Kristen wants the nannies to be friends so there isn’t a repeat of KRISTEN blowing off her duties??

    I appreciate the update on OC behavior because I have never been so happy to be an aloof east coaster! I was just baffled that Kristen had an indignant “my business is important” convo and kept emphasizing the importance of friendship and being friends. That is some alien logic for me.

  7. 7
    labowner
    Posted August 23, 2012 at 11:41 am

    Leading by example? I don’t know the girl is so obviously clueless as she keeps pushing Lil Drunky to be a nanny who clearly has zero skills for it.

    Being from the mid-west it is very irksome to have to work with total idiots, but because they are “nice” they still have jobs.

    After watching this show, I wouldn’t let these folks watch my dog for an hour.

  8. 8
    My2Cents
    Posted August 23, 2012 at 1:51 pm

    I thought Amber was very professional in her discussion with Ari. The way Ari has spoken to her in the past was uncalled for and demeaning. The discussion at the SUV wasn’t to bad in itself and alone wouldn’t be taken as anything but someone trying to give advice. BUT seeing the way Ari speaks to her on other occasions sheds a different light on that conversation. No one should have to put up with that for any reason. And Ari’s husband seems like an A Class jerk. There is no defense for either one.

  9. 9
    ChaCha
    Posted August 23, 2012 at 4:05 pm

    Someone needs to tell Li’l Drunky that “tough love” isn’t the same as “don’t give a damn.”

    I agree with PennyD. about kids biting people and arresting the parents. Some bleeding hearts will say “but kids aren’t dogs.” I say that many dogs have better manners than two year old kids. Whose fault is that? Not the kids’ or the dogs’.

    As for Kristin and her “parasite”…before I got sober, I had tons of parasites too. Just sayin’. ;-D

    Not that I’m taking Amber’s side…she likes to conveniently not notice the three fingers pointing back at her on the same hand she uses to point the Finger of Fault at everyone else. To Amber, she’s just perfect and everyone else hates her and acts all high school at her because of that.

    But I do love Amanda, Justin and Scott. Those are the only people on the show who are able to actually take care of kids. They should start their own agency that includes Lady Care.

  10. 10
    Setra
    Posted August 23, 2012 at 7:29 pm

    I agree, this show has really displayed how easily the boundaries between boss and friends can be blurred, I think especially when you practically live with your boss and raise their children. You raise a good question, I don’t know what else she could possibly be qualified in, and hopefully she finds something! This show provides my Dish coworkers and I a lot to talk about. I love recording this show on my Hopper because I’m able to start watching on my living room TV and then continue watching on any TV in my house right where I left off. I love the convenience of being able to get work done while I watch!

  11. 11
    NatPatBen
    Posted August 24, 2012 at 6:53 pm

    Miranda (I think) could drink alcohol as long as she doesn’t breastfeed her baby while the alcohol is still in her system. But considering the massive amount she has stored, she can afford to “pump and dump” for quite some time.

    That smoothie resembled the ones I make most mornings. They go from looking good to gross as soon as you throw in the spinach, kale, and/or swiss chard. But they still taste good. The worst thing that happened with one of my smoothies: I was bringing it to work on the bus when someone jostled me. The lid to the smoothie came off and it fell ALL over the front crotch area of my light colored pants. The smoothie contained kale, cherries, almond nut butter, coconut milk, and more, so you can imagine the color on my pants. Since then, I only use spill-proof cups to bring my smoothies to work.

    Not a huge Amber fan either, but regarding Amber vs Ari AND the Amber vs Kristin, I’d take Amber’s side.

  12. 12
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 2:21 pm

    Ari and Barry do a cameo on this week’s Hotel Hell.

    I’m behind watching this show. But wanted to put a heads up.

  13. 13
    My2Cents
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 2:27 pm

    I was watching Hotel Hell and thought it was Ari but wasn’t sure. Thanks for clarifying!!

  14. 14
    nanny11
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 8:53 pm

    ok so here’s the truth to this matter; kristin is disgusting. anyone who thinks shes not a mean cocky liar is delusional. ppl dont like to hear the truth. stop coddling her.. shes an adult and shes supposed to be a leader but shes embarrassing herself. amber isnt perfect at all but shes logical and isnt an immature cry baby. Im sick of kristin pretending to be queen bee and all she is is annoying. and ugly inside. all these girls are sad and two faced. they need a reality check cuz this is not highschool.. grow up, stop being so shady. Im also a nanny for celebs and I live in LA. Ive heard a lot about kristin for about a year before this show.. and no REAL A-list celeb families would trust her cuz she plays favorites and clearly refers alcoholics to families. I hear she has been caught screaming and harrassing a womans daughter. she has a lot of little schemes and shes not sweet like she makes ppl think. shes been let go of a few jobs here in LA cuz of her temper and bad judgement. shes also flaky, as you see on the show. I dont think being on a TV show is helping her reputation either. put down the drinks and do your job kristen.. enough with the lies and “parasites.”

  15. 15
    nikki
    Posted September 6, 2012 at 12:21 am

    Couldnt agree more nanny11. Kristin is horrible. I would never trust her with my kids. Shes got problems. Shes doing more harm to her reputation than amber.

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Human Verification: In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.