Beverly Hills Nannies Recap: Nothing Compares 2 U

Recaps

By PennyDreadful | Thursday, August 16, 2012 | 3:41 pm | 10 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Beverly Hills Nannies, Recaps

Meanwhile, a limo driver/actor (in this town, who isn’t “/actor”?), also called Marcus, is meeting Kristin.  Cindy escorts them to a table she’s set up with drinks.  Here’s what we found out about Marcus II (all said in something resembling a monotone, while almost never actually looking at Kristin):

- He’s an athlete (wrestler) and he just missed the Olympic tryouts, or was going to try out, something like that.

- He was a marine.  Um, no.  You worked on a Marine base, perhaps.  As a civilian.

- He’s modeled with Cindy.

- “Age is just a number”.  What the hell does that mean?

- “My body looks like I’m 20″.  Only if the people looking at you are drunk or have cataracts.

- “If Calvin Klein wanted it he would put it up on a billboard”.  He doesn’t, and he won’t.

Here’s a montage of the Many Emotions of Marcus II:

 

 

 

 

Even Kristin doesn’t like this guy.  Happily, that’s the last we see of him.

I don’t care if there’s rohypnol in this, I just want to NOT HEAR HIM.

Commercial.

We’re back briefly to see Heifer buying PBJ a Baby Dior outfit and a Hummer.

 

Which in a couple of years will look like this:

 

Commercial.

Over to Garri Dance Studio, where Alex is going to teach Amanda and Marcus (I) the tango.  They irritate the hell out of Alex, but do manage to pick up the steps and have fun.

Work with me, people!

I’m so sultry!

Elsewhere, Kristin, Shaun, Shayla and Lucy are sitting outside.  We learn that Shaun got the business tax registration for Kristin, and he’s – not she’s – been brainstorming ideas like getting a website.  Lucy suggests “Beverly Hills Nanny Society” as a name, and there’s discussion as to whether “Society” is too elitist.  For Beverly Hills. 

Glasses = smart!

Justin and Lindsey, meanwhile, are meeting men.  Well, he’s introducing her to them.  So far we see one guy who’s a dud, and another she likes, but who is likely gay.  So a complete success, then!

Hands off, sister, he’s mine!

Commercial.

Lucy and Curtis are dining with Tricia and Byron, her husband.  Tricia says she was expecting a “manly guy” and instead found a “deer-like fellow”.  Byron tries to conect with Curtis, but he’s not having any of that, instead complaining he doesn’t like cities and can’t stand being in a car.  Then why the hell do you live in LA, car capital of the universe?  Lucy keeps finishing his sentences but it seems painful for her.  Byron tries again, and asks Curtis what he’s into.  Curtis says he has a dog and shaved half of it.  OK, why? for what reason?  Any elaboration there?  Nope.  Wow, what a complete antisocial dud.  I can see why Lucy wants him around, he’s so sparkling and charming. What a wit!  Why, he’s a real raconteur.  Asshat, this is your girl’s boss, could you make even a half-baked effort on her behalf?

Really, that Unibomber guy is more outgoing.

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Named for lurid serialized stories (so like today's reality TV) that sold for a penny a copy in Victorian Britain, former National Spelling Bee finalist and multiple Science Fair award winner PennyDreadful has been writing for TVGasm since 2011, and cites MST3K as inspiration.

Follow PennyDreadful on Twitter at @kcvinweho.

 

10 Comments

  1. 1
    darlingclementine
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 6:39 pm

    I hope ari gets rid of amber!

    Curtis was weird and it was uncomfortable to watch him. Somehow Lucy is looking better these past few episodes. Maybe she would be okay to hang out with but never to work with and not if she brought her boyfriend.

    Lil’ Drunky needs to do some soul searching and pick a new career path. Usually gymnastics coaches and such can do the “tough love” thing since they have an actual skill to teach the kids and they dont have to see the kids beyond the allotted gym time. So she is probably alright with kids in that setting… but basically no other setting, especially not as a nanny.

    I want to take Justin home with me and make me laugh.

  2. 2
    Jason
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 7:52 pm

    Okay, this show blows. That Cindy chick should try getting her makeup done by someone who knows what they are doing. If someones doing her makeup they are doing a horrible job! She looks like she is in her late 50s now and her eyebrows are in the wrong place! Why is this chick never dressed and looking like trash? What happened to her? Wonder if alcohol plays a part. Those poor children!

  3. 3
    Helena Handbasket
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 7:22 am

    Don’t get me wrong, I understand why people find Amber irritating. But I am not why Ari would invite Amber to the party in the first place, since she doesn’t seem to enjoy Amber’s company and Amber’s wardrobe is not up to par?

  4. 4
    Helena Handbasket
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 7:23 am

    *not clear, or *not sure.

  5. 5
    NatPatBen
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 11:11 am

    I agree with Helena.

    I feel that Amber, while having room to work on her interpersonal skills, is not mean-spirited or really mean at all. Ari ALSO needs to work on her interpersonal skills AND is mean.

    What I wonder is what has Ari done to get to her position in life. The way she spoke to Amber last episode made me wonder if Ari has gone through any type of hardship; did she work hard to get to her current level or marry well?

    Also, I couldn’t believe Amber borrowed such an expensive car from her employee! My personal feeling is: if I can’t afford to replace it, I won’t borrow it (without insurance).

  6. 6
    labowner
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 12:43 pm

    Well Nat it is very difficult to lay around naked while someone takes photographs. She was a playboy bunny and I am sure that includes all the daddy issues one can handle. :) She married one as well.

    Not sure what is going on with Lucy and Chris, but I don’t think we are getting the whole story from her.

    Penny I don’t wear makeup either. It seems to disappear from my face no matter how expensive the product. :( Please don’t hate me.

    What is wrong with drunky? She needs a ‘tude adjustment and learn to speak up to Kirsten and say I would rather help you run the business than be a nanny.

  7. 7
    Ariane Bellamar
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 2:42 pm

    Thanks Penny! Luv your recaps :) Thanks to everyone watching and supporting BHN – luv ya! xo

  8. 8
    MrsMiaWallace MrsMiaWallace
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 8:52 pm

    Great recap! Oh the Seinfeld references! The Sinead references!

    I am not a fan of Amber but Ari is vile. She (rightfully) disapproves of being so irresponsible your car is towed, but then wants Amber to have designer shoes? How do these women think nannies can afford nice cars and clothes on $30/hr? Also Ari said they were the same age but she is so pumped full of Botox and smeared in clown makeup I thought she was at least 15 years older than Amber. She always looks like her makeup was applied with a paintball gun at close range.

    Thank you for pointing out the weirdness about Curtis. I have had lots of tempestuous relationships and fights, but could never describe someone as “yelling at me”. Alarm bells are ringing, Winston.

    Does anyone out there have nanny experience/info? These people don’t seem like they work many hours a week so it must all be cash, under the table type pay right? How can that turn into a referral service without the IRS getting involved?

  9. 9
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted August 19, 2012 at 6:28 am

    @labowner in the minicap you said something about all the boundary issues.

    I think it’s because except for maybe Justin they’re Delusiona. And not just the baby sitters. Which is what a lot of that long New Pain Pill rant last week was about.

    If any of them have said anything about career etc goals I missed it. Specially not the goal of going to nanny school. Or teaching or anything to do with kids. That baby sitting would be a stepping stone for.

    A couple of them came right out and said they just like being able to look at all the stuff rich people can buy. And maybe get to be around people that know celebrities. Instead of what they’d be looking at if they marked time with a different job. So in other words it looks like they’re just marking time.

    Some of them think baby sitting for rich people will make them more liable to catch a rich husband. Which reminds me. @darlingclementine I hope Ari gets rid of Amber too. They’re chalk and cheese. So it’d be better for both of them. Kristin’s a much better match for Ari’s way of thinking.

    My guess is most of them must be getting some $ from their parents too. Or from somebody. Because LA’s not cheap to live in. And doing hourly rate jack leg work like that is not the same as getting = or > 40 hrs of that same rate. As the take home number on a check every week. Everybody that’s ever worked jack leg wishes LOL!

    @MrsMiaWallace Specially since they’re on tv I bet they’ll all have to put every scrap of it on their tax papers. Along with their tv show $.

  10. 10
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted August 23, 2012 at 5:59 pm

    @Nat and the Mrs….FINALLY! Folks who see Ari for what she is (an entitled elitist beeyotch)! Thank you thank you thank you.

    Oh, and Amber is not a bad person. I’m not sure how she has ended up being a villain. She’s the only “real” person on this “reality” show (even though I adore Justin – he’s really just a character).

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