Flipit: Good point. She won this one!
Danny: She’s horrified she’s so close to a Hantz.
Now they fight to not be in last place. The losing team will have their coach vote someone off.
Danny: The best part is, Jenn is TOTALLY safe. No way a coach will get rid of someone like Jenn, who is clearly no threat and won’t be getting voted out ANY time soon.
Flipit: Jenn will turn into Dick in less than five episodes, so she’ll stay because Grodner will make them keep her.
Danny: Same with Willie, because CBS is apparently owned by Hantzes now.
TheMiki: Jenn is embarrassing lesbians everywhere in this comp. I bet she can’t even change a tire.
Danny: Mike Boogie clearly got some wonderful Botox from his old friend Dr. Will before coming in.
Flipit: Not that wonderful. He looks like Scrooge McDuck
Dan’s team loses, but he hugs them anyways.
Flipit: Dan, hugs don’t win comps.
TheMiki: You know what else doesn’t win comps? LOSERS.
Danny: Ironically, Dan is the only ACTUAL coach.
Britney chooses Hantz to be the first HOH so he can make some friends and try to stay in the game. He’s thrilled.
Danny: Willie thinks being HOH first REMOVES the target from his back?
Flipit: I know. First HOH byeeeee! So someone from Dan’s team is going. Bye black person!
Danny: Dan’s too much of a nervous white guy to cut the black girl. We’re losing one of our interchangeable sexy ladies!
Flipit: I don’t know. She couldn’t even jump on a bed. Not lookin too good.
Danny: This is just reinforcing the stereotype that black people don’t know how to jump on beds.
Flipit: HAHAH!! Is that a real stereotype? There was a comment war about the “black people can’t swim” stereotype earlier this year. I don’t even know what’s real any more.
Danny: It’s a stereotype NOW.
Flipit: K. Let’s spread it. You heard it here first: Black people don’t jump on beds.
TheMiki: What would Jesus do, Dan? Give you a hint: Not BB
Flipit: Jesus would turn those beds into fish for poor people. And he would def save all the hookers
Danny: Whichever one isn’t black or a porn star will go.
Commercials. The SUSPENSE!!! Some cute girl starring in the new dating show “3″ comes on, telling us how hard it was growing up as a nerd.
Danny: I love that this “<3″ show’s definition of “nerd” is showing a little girl who is super cute in pigtails. Fucking NERD. Get that nerd off the screen. Just gave my computer a swirlie because I was so overwhelmed with how much of a nerd she is.
Flipit: It was so hard growing up adorable!! I need a show to talk about how hard it is being really smart and adorable!! Shut up skank. You’re not alone because you’re a nerd, you’re alone because you’re OBNOXIOUS.
Danny: Okay, best guesses for shitty C-level celebrity entering the house midway through the season to promote a TV show/movie?
Danny: It has to be Charlie Sheen, right? Oh wait, CBS hates him.
Flipit: Julia Roberts is getting pretty desperate. That would be amazing.
Danny: It’ll just be Jeremy Piven again, but this time he’ll just move into the house because he has nothing left to do.
We’re back! Dan is agonizing over who to send home. Loudly.
Flipit: I’ve missed Dan’s deaf person shout. Calm down, Marlee! You have an Oscar!
Danny: Was Dan on the season where everyone shouted?
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