Flipit: There was just one?
It’s between Jodi and Danielle
Danny: Ooooooh, Jodi/Danielle RIVALRY.
TheMiki: It is YOUR fault, Danielle.
Flipit: Kalia, you had your chance last season. You should have gone to the gym between then and now. You’re so gone.
Danny: Why are none of these women sleeping with Dan to stay in the house? Have they even SEEN this show before?
Danny: Danielle is so gone.
TheMiki: Don’t be a racist, Dan.
Flipit: TOLD YOU!! Kalia’s OUT!
TheMiki: Only black chick. You’re out!!!
Flipit: Black people are PISSED right now. And all I can tell them is, we got Wil, so we got screwed too. If black people and gay people united, we could get WHATEVER WE WANT!!! Someone set up a meeting.
Danny: WHOA! BUT HER PINK SHIRT CLEARLY SAYS SHE WENT TO HARVARD. Yikes, this is really uncomfortable.
Flipit: Totally!! This cast is whiter than my Meemaw’s wet dreams.
Danny: Julie’s cringing.
Flipit: No minorities. The only Asian is a robot.
TheMiki: And she’s not allowed in the house.
TheMiki: Dude with the white supremacist haircut, stop applauding right now!
Flipit: WHITE POWER! The next challenge will be stringing mannequins up in trees.
TheMiki: Then installing separate drinking fountains.
Danny: Big Brother: Expect the Unexpected (and Racism, Always).
Flipit: This is fucking EMBARRASSING, CBS!!
Danny: This was a really WEIRD and kind of HORRIBLE first episode.
Flipit: I find that I say that every season. And then I get excited all over again.
Danny: At least we got minimal Mike Boogie time. They didn’t even tell us WHY Dan got rid of Jodi! Just “Jodi, you’re gone.” And then: “See you next week!”
TheMiki: It’s cause she’s black. Obviously.
Flipit: And fat. Double bigotry!
Danny: This coach twist is already just the worst. Either let them play the game or don’t. This is nonsense.
Flipit: But it brought back fun girls! It will be ok. They will try to manipulate stuff until the teams revolt, or something
Danny: This must be what it’s like to be an old person watching Jersey Shore. I don’t understand anything that just happened in the past hour.
Flipit: I never do. I just kinda nod and wipe the drool from my chin.
Danny: What happens when teammates start going against each other? Are they forced into an alliance with each other? Do they have to listen to their coaches? What if the coaches are just all ignored and end up hanging out in a separate corner of the house for 2 months and doing nothing all summer? So many questions. No idea why I’m bothering to ask them or trying to make sense out of this garbage.
Flipit: You’re thinking too hard about a show that uses 99 cent click lights as props.
Danny: It’ll all be nonsense and the most boring people will make it to the final four.
Flipit: My only prediction is that the coaches will be put into the game. Otherwise there aren’t enough people in the game to last a full season
Danny: This is going to be fun/miserable! Somehow Rachel and Brendan will be allowed into the house, I just know it. I can feel them clawing at the outside walls, like zombies.
Flipit: Totally. Rachel will be back to brag about Brendon’s eventual cure for cancer. It’s always fun, even when it’s miserable! I am putting my hope in Spray Tan to make this hilarious
Danny: We’ll seeeeeeeeeeee. I need to go out and drink now, to forget about everything.
Flipit: I already did.
Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8