Big Brother 14 Recap: Double Elimination!

Recaps

By TheMiki | Friday, August 24, 2012 | 1:05 am | 24 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Big Brother, Recaps

Hey hey Big Brother fans!  It’s Double Elimination Night!  Squee!  I might not even need to snort my Adderall in order to stay awake through tonight’s episode.  

 

In case you’re just joining us, Frank and Boogie were on the block and they are convinced it’s Dan’s fault, even though it’s totally Ian’s fault.  Frank won PoV and pulled himself off the block, so Shane replaced him with Jen.   Oh, and I have a big ol’ thing of vodka gummy bears made with Whipped Cream Vodka, so I’m gonna be in a much better mood than usual too.

 

It’s like all the good parts of my childhood plus all the bad parts of my childhood rolled into one…

The Chenbot tells us like a dozen times that there will be two players eliminated tonight.  It goes like this:  Right off the bat either Boogie or Jen will get evicted, then there will be an HoH comp, then a PoV comp, then someone else will go home.   

 

That guy on the bottom is REALLY excited about it

Chen warns us that Jen is pissed to be on the block, and now she’s set to explode.  Duck and cover everyone!  You might get mediocrity all up in your hair and stuff.   

 

 

Boogie is all pissed off because Dan tried to shake his hand, and right in the midst of his temper tantrum Ian comes in and says it’s tough for him to decide when he has to vote between two of his teammates.   Boogie has a little mini shit-fit over Ian not being positive he’s voting for Boogie to stay, so Ian lies and says he is definitely voting Jen out. 

You kids get off my lawn! 

Boogie sets his sights on Shane and starts accusing him of jerking them around and being Dan’s bitch.  Way to make the whole house wanna keep you around, you infantile fuckwad.  I expect this sort of shit from Boogie, cause… Well… He’s an infantile fuckwad, but Frank is getting pulled into the vortex of douchebaggery and being just as obnoxious.

You cannot resist the power of the dickwad hat… 

Bored of trying to make Shane cry, Boogie and Frank gather in the living room to verbally assault Dan, who handles himself pretty well by mostly ignoring them and pretending to read.  

 

So you’re telling me this caterpillar is STILL hungry???

Over in some other room, Jen is telling Ian that she’s furious and it makes her sick to be on the block.  Like, bitch is legitimately furious about being nominated.  Did she not understand that the entire point of this show is to nominate people for eviction?  It’s not like her and Shane had some awesome secret alliance that he’s betraying by putting her on the block.  What the fuck is she so angry about?

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TheMiki
About

I enjoy mocking other people because it's the only thing I'm really good at, and I think we should all use the gifts God gave us.  My childhood was way more fucked up than yours, and yet I'm a fully productive member of society with no criminal record or bastard children.  As such, listening to coked-out hookers whine about their baby-daddies getting arrested and how they live this life cause their mama didn't breastfeed them makes me want to throw furniture at my TV.  When I'm not tearing down people on television I like to paint, write, drink coffee, hike, and make pathetic attempts to play the guitar, because chicks dig a lady with an instrument.

24 Comments

  1. 1
    ghostfacekilla
    Posted August 24, 2012 at 2:38 am

    haha, gotta luv ashley wandering around behind the other HG after she got eliminated from the HOH comp..i too was impressed by her first ever articulation…i feel like a bunch of rotten tomatos are about to be pelting my head, but dammmmm i hated to see Boogie go out :( (…and the way he went out..ouuuuch
    no denying he had it all coming to him and he did get sooo played…but still i was down with chilltown 2.0 so umm yeah thurs night? bad day at the office, bad day at the office

  2. 2
    Catherine
    Posted August 24, 2012 at 4:36 am

    I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a show aside from celebrity rehab or intervention where one of the people was that blatantly fucked up on meds.

  3. 3
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted August 24, 2012 at 4:37 am

    As smart as you are Ian you are a “big dummy” (in my Fred Sanford voice) for nominating Frank and Ashley. Frank is one of the few people in the house that can win competitions.

  4. 4
    Pikey578
    Posted August 24, 2012 at 4:40 am

    I was so glad to see Mike booted from the house. The vitriol being spouted by both him and Frank was just disgusting. I don’t know why he thinks he is some Jedi master when Dr. Will was the reason he won All Stars. His gameplay was threatening and intimidating. I do have to give him props for the way he took Ian’s news, though…

    I was also so impressed with Dan’s non-reaction to their attacks – this makes me want him to win even more! Great recap, btw.

  5. 5
    Zwicker
    Posted August 24, 2012 at 4:45 am

    I only half-watch BB since starting to watch it two years ago and getting my wife hooked on it when an old friend of mine, Captain Kosher Andrew, was on. Anywho, from my not fully engaged vantage point and having not seen him on previous seasons, I have thought from the beginning of the summer that Boogie is a class A douchebag. On the other hand, I appreciated that, upon learning that Ian expertly assassinated him, he applauded the move.

  6. 6
    Kammie
    Posted August 24, 2012 at 4:56 am

    @ghostfacekilla – I was cracking up at Ashley during the HOH competition, too!

  7. 7
    considerthis
    Posted August 24, 2012 at 6:47 am

    Having no basis in strategy whatsoever – I want Jennnnnnnn gone. She needs to exit just for the sheer irritation factor. The scene where she “goes off” for being on the block, her awful droopy tits (my great gamaw’s are firmer and more supple), her 17 minute exit speech when she was just a FUCKING pawn – I rest my case.

    You are right – Boogie poisoned Frank with his douchbaggery rantings. When Ashley got evicted he just wandered around semi mumble/shouting about all she wanted was to be protected, give peace a chance, wow I just caught a whiff of my pits,she did NOTHING wring. etc. etc. etc.

    Did anybody catch Stashly take a fall when she stood up way too fast after her eviction was announced. I thought (hoped) she was gonna faint but no such luck.

    Next big battle is Dan vs. Ian – should be interesting…

  8. 8
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted August 24, 2012 at 8:01 am

    Brittany’s phone call was the highlight of the night.

    Followed by:
    1) Joe being safe. (He’s the only good looking guy left in the house!)
    2) Boogie getting booted out.
    3) Ian revealing his delicious backstabbing news to Boogie.

    CBS needs to give us more episodes like this.

  9. 9
    MissKris RTVfan
    Posted August 24, 2012 at 8:06 am

    @considerthis I noticed her stumble too and Ian catching her and I 100% thought in that moment that she was passing out/fainted. Now THAT would’ve made the best show so far in the season even better.

    As much as I hate Douchie (boogie) I did like his bowing down to Ian when he heard his goodbye message explanation.

  10. 10
    smango
    Posted August 24, 2012 at 8:06 am

    Did Ashley think she could just ‘leave’ after she was out? What the hell was she doing?? And seriously.. I get that she has had back issues, and is taking pain killers, but shouldn’t someone be regulating how much she takes? She’s barely even coherent! At least her rambling is entertaining, which I will miss.

    Britney’s goodbye to Mike was definitely one of the BEST moments in BB history.

    I really am not a Hard Blinkin’ Frank fan. I get that he’s good at the game, but anyone that immiediately tries to make themselves Dr.Will.2 is given thumbs-down in my book.

  11. 11
    TheMiki themiki
    Posted August 24, 2012 at 8:27 am

    Dude, I’ve been visiting my little sister in the ICU all month. The kid has been on I.V. Ketamine, Morphine AND Versed (all at the same time) for weeks and she is still far more coherent than Ashley. Ashley is a special kind of high. One I’ve never seen come about as a result of legal doses of painkillers. Did we ever find out what Paula Abdul was on during her last couple seasons of Idol? Cause I think it’s some magic pain-killer that only TV execs have access to and that exists specifically for the purpose of entertaining viewers. And I think Ashley got her hands on some.

  12. 12
    alice
    Posted August 24, 2012 at 8:49 am

    great ian…..the only person in the house with balls of steel…great to see ashley the house slut go out the door..shes that girl every guy knows how the date is going to end..”with her head hitting the heads board”…see ya latter old very old boogie man!!!! i have seen jesse show up yet flexing his bod!!!!!

  13. 13
    simonoliver
    Posted August 24, 2012 at 9:12 am

    “Does anyone else think that the PoV was rigged? I mean… A pot of gold? When Frank is clearly part leprechaun? ”

    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    It takes a lot to actually make me LOL, and this totally did it

  14. 14
    Kaybell
    Posted August 24, 2012 at 9:59 am

    I’m tired of the Freaky Frank Show. If they wanted him to win so bad why not just put him in the house alone for 3 months and give him the money. That would save us all a lot of time!! I agree completely, the comps seem to be rigged to benefit Frank! I have cut the feeds off. I don’t know if I will watch the shows, maybe when Frank is evicted I can stand to watch again!

  15. 15
    K8sMommy
    Posted August 24, 2012 at 10:25 am

    I think it was so stupid of Ian to tell Boogie anything before he left the house. He should have waited for the good-bye message to reveal his evil doings. That move might have ended his game. I’m just glad it ended Boogie’s first.

    Ashley isn’t a coherent person off of medication, I can’t imagine it takes a strong med to make her even less coherent. What we’re seeing is probably the side effect of an Advil.

  16. 16
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted August 24, 2012 at 10:55 am

    “Ashley is first and she votes to evict purple.” LOL!!!

    I loved seeing Mike get the boot…and I appreciated his reaction to finding out he had been played by Ian, and his expression at learning the name of the alliance: the Quack Pack. Perfect. He even laughed good-naturedly at Britney. Much cooler than I expected him to be.

    I also loved Joe’s silent speech. Someone should make him the deal of keeping him off the block for a week if he’ll shave.

    Why was Frank hyperventilating all show?

  17. 17
    JasonR
    Posted August 24, 2012 at 11:36 am

    Well played Ian. @classy drunk (#3) I don’t think it was a bad move for Ian to nominate Frank. Ian was going to be his #1 target anyway after realizing Ian had betrayed he and Mike. Ian gets major props for totally screwing Boogie and then flattering him in the goodbye video so that Boogie’s anger was totally diffused. That’s some Jedi-mind shit worthy of Dr. Will. Too bad Boogie didn’t make the jury because I think he for sure would have given his vote to Ian for that alone.

    Meanwhile, from earlier in the I have to say Shane is the biggest pussy ever. When you betray someone, just own it. Why did he feel bad about it? Why did he feel like Boogie and Frank had a right to interrogate him or that he had an obligation to answer? Just say, “I did what I did” and not try and wuss out and blame it on undue influence. This way he incurs their wrath and doesn’t even earn their respect. I hope Brittany and Ian cut him loose and cut his throat next chance they get.

  18. 18
    CrazyTrain CrazyTrain
    Posted August 24, 2012 at 4:13 pm

    “So you’re telling me this caterpillar is STILL hungry???” I totally LOL’d at that … i have thought that many a time reading that book over and over to my son!

    Was so glad to see Boogie gone and off jury. Ian totally needed to put up Frank, hopefully he won’t be going home soon. An Ian vs. frank finale would be great.

  19. 19
    Tiger
    Posted August 24, 2012 at 4:18 pm

    Takes one to know one Alice.

  20. 20
    Gilty Plezzur
    Posted August 24, 2012 at 5:26 pm

    I haven’t even watched this stupid show, yet I’m somehow freakishly fascinated with the horrible thing that is Boogie (I did witness his douchery the first time around when he and Will formed Chilltown in the early seasons). Fascinated because some A-hole like him continues to show up on television while thousands of actors take lessons to perfect their craft, struggle through auditions and crappy flexible-schedule jobs and are lucky if they get a puny walk-on part on a lousy sit-com pilot. I do hope, though, that Boogie fades away into oblivion now that he’s been voted off this show. How many more times can the producers allow him to pop up again? I guess as long as the Big Brother franchise chugs along, there’s always the chance that he’ll show up. You’d think that his Chilltown pardner, “Dr.” Will would give him some of the anti-aging Neutrogena stuff he shills on QVC or at least get him a job at the lab as a guinea pig. Maybe he has and Boogie is actually about 110, looking a fresh 75 after using the products. What happened to that “exclusive” nightclub he had, and didn’t he propose to some trailer-park princess that was on the show? At least she had enough sense to ditch him and return to the trailer park.

  21. 21
    TaxGirl TaxGirl
    Posted August 24, 2012 at 7:32 pm

    Yay – Boogie is gone! He was so cocky and yet let Frank do all the hard work. I’m thinking Frank will have a free fall now – seems everyone is against him. Have to admit Boogie did react with class to Brit’s HILARIOUS goodbye message and Ian’s gotcha.

    I’m rooting for Dan and Ian. Did Dan miss an opportunity to tell Ms. Chen how beautiful she is when he was voting? I don’t think he complimented her at all.

    I hated the “side pony” on Julie. Looked like she had some animal hanging off her shoulder.

    Hope Ashley can see a doctor about her back and get off those meds! Her non-drugged persona was entertaining but it’s pretty bad with the drugs. Loved Joe’s mime session!

  22. 22
    AnnieO
    Posted August 24, 2012 at 10:28 pm

    Ian should have tried to backdoor Frank. By nominating him up front, Frank got to play for POV. If he nominated 2 other people, there was a 1 in 3 chance Frank wouldn’t have gotten to play for the veto. And whoever won it would surely use it. At least they would have had a shot at getting rid of him that way.

    And since he did win it and got to stay, how long will it take him to calm down and realize he has more of a chance at staying by talking nice instead of ranting and raving?

    Did anyone notice Ashley’s eyes? She could hardly focus, they kept wanting to close. I was surprised she made as much sense as she did in her speech and interview.

  23. 23
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted August 24, 2012 at 11:57 pm

    I agree about Ian backdooring Frank. And deep down, I think he was trying to throw the competition without being obvious. Did you see how disappointed he was to win? Only thing, it appears Danielle was throwing it, too. Now, the heat would really be on him. He put up Frank because the cat was already out of the bag in regards to who wasn’t in the alliance. Ashley voted with Frank and Boogie. Boogie’s gone, Frank and Ashley go up. Ian only has seconds to think and didn’t want to alienate anyone else by making them an unwitting pawn (future enemy) without a proper discussion first. Winning the POV was one thing, Frank saved himself. But if anyone besides himself wins HOH, they’re throwing him on the block again.

  24. 24
    Enaira
    Posted August 29, 2012 at 8:38 pm

    Is it just me or do most of the people this season seem to have a drug or alcohol addiction? I first thought it was because of how angry they were getting but now I’m not so sure. Even though there seems to be a language barrier of some sort I still watch whenever the show is on. I’ve got my Hopper recording Big Brother every night that it’s on and thanks to the PrimeTime Anytime it records everything on CBS seven days a week. A Dish co-worker let me try her Hopper and I decided to get my own. After 14 seasons it’s appropriate to think that maybe parts of the show are rigged. I’m sure production has kicked itself several times since the show has started.

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