Someone stole half my hair, dammit!
Jen continues to promise us that she’s gonna become a real competitor now and actually win stuff, because she wasn’t really trying before. She could have won lots of competitions if she wanted to. Just like I could have always beat my sister at bike races when we were kids if I had really wanted to. I just didn’t want to. Cause bike races are stupid! And you smell.
After giving Shane an earful about how pissed she is, she makes her rounds telling all the BB House Guests that she’s really “Fired Up.” She calls herself a Wildcard and says that Shane’s an idiot and she’ll go to Jury House and not forget about this. Ian tells the diary room that Jen needs to chill the fuck out or she’s gonna out-douche Boogie and get herself evicted. And that would suck.
Someone get that poor girl a bra, stat!
The Chenbot gathers the House Guests into the eviction circle-jerk room to announce that this will be a double eviction, and then she lets Jen and Boogie plead their cases. Jen gives a really weird and boring speech, Boogie name-drops, and then speaks directly to Chef Joe like he’s the only one voting or something.
My performance in comps says, “I don’t really give a damn” but my neck tattoo says, “I have nothing to fall back on.”
Okay, voting time! Woohoo!
Ashley is first and she votes to evict purple. Oh no, wait! Jen. She votes to evict Jen. Britney votes to evict Boogie, Chef Joe votes to evict Boogie, Frank votes to evict Jen, Dan votes to evict Boogie (and gives Janelle a shout-out), Ian votes to evict Boogie, and Danielle votes to evict Boogie.
My god, it’s like people don’t enjoy my meanspirited antics or something.
By a vote of 5 to 2, Boogie is taking the Loser-train to ChillTown. He tells Frank not to trust Ian, and then marches out to speak with the Chenbot. She immediately asks him why he said that, and Boogie tells her that Ian whispered to him that he wasn’t gonna like what he saw, and he should “Get to steppin.”
Goodbye message time! Frank hard blinks at him, Britney does this awesome fake phone call with Janelle where she skillfully mocks Boogie’s idiotic diary room sessions and permanently earns a place in my cold, black recapper heart.
It’s TheMiki. She says if I get eliminated that she’s gonna burn this fucker down.
Ian tells him in his tape about his alliance, and says that he, “Learned from the best, and that’s why the best is sitting with Julie.” Ha! Ian is way cooler than anyone gives him credit for.