Big Brother 14 Recap: Nacho POV

18 Comments

1. 1
   itchy
   Posted July 26, 2012 at 7:08 am

   So is that halter-top that Closet Case is wearing the new douchebag attire for this year? Because the GI Douche on the Bachelorette was wearing one too.

   Don’t worry about Dan. Any fans he might have had going into this are gone now. But his shitty ‘coaching’ can be explained by having inside information about what’s going to happen once he loses all of his players.

   And if HoHo goes this season will seriously drain of all interest. I mean, how can anyone resist that pouty mouth of hers? It even looks like it’s real.

2. 2
   JasonR
   Posted July 26, 2012 at 7:16 am

   LOL great recap!! Creeper bear had me almost doing a spit take with my coffee. I thought for sure you’d go mining for comedy in that little interlude of Ashley talking about her ideal mate as being someone who likes food and sleeping. No wonder she’s still single I mean where are you going to find a guy that likes eating and sleeping? Danielle got a pretty raw deal since she really has done nothing to deserve her plight, but hey life isn’t fair either. She can always try getting on her knees and making an alliance with Shane’s penis that would override his brain’s alliance with Brit & Hoho.

3. 3
   alice
   Posted July 26, 2012 at 7:22 am

   ashley perfect blonde…clueless..dumb..and clueless “she could win this”
   enjoying the nice tit shots of tatoo girl..bend over some more girl…just a little more…hmmmm..nice!!!!
   hey dude wearing the girly shirt..your sister called and she wants her shirt back!!!

4. 4
   Philo
   Posted July 26, 2012 at 7:26 am

   Thanks for the recap. I’d rather spend 10 minutes reading the recaps on this site than wasting an hour watching this awful show.

5. 5
   nestofvipers
   Posted July 26, 2012 at 7:41 am

   ugh why are they voting out all the pretty girls and leaving me with GirlDick as eye candy? Yuck!

   Dan has always been terrible in my book. This just seals the deal with me. I honestly think the coach twist will go whichever way it goes based on Janelle and no one else. If she loses all her players she’ll be in the game.. but if she doesn’t and someone else does.. they’ll leave and she’ll go in to play. BB will keep her safe as long as possible so she has a great shot at that 500k.

6. 6
   Derek Hazelton
   Posted July 26, 2012 at 9:23 am

   If the goal is to get rid of the Closet Gay eventually, you have to backdoor him since he’s won two Vetoes already. The moment where CG doesn’t get HOH and doesn’t get picked for the Veto game, the HOH at that time will have to backdoor him right out of the house.

7. 7
   itchy
   Posted July 26, 2012 at 10:19 am

   The irony of Closet Case waiting to be backdoor’ed is just too delicious…

   And yeah, if the only eye candy left this season is Tattoo Girl, we’re in serious trouble. Because the bloom is definitely off the Britney Rose. And Janelle’s had way too much work done. She used to be sort of pretty.

   Fortunately we have Richard Simmons and his headbands.

   Interesting theory there, nest o’ vipers. I bet you’re right.

8. 8
   crankyguy
   Posted July 26, 2012 at 10:41 am

   If Ian really had photographic memory then only one trip to the reference menu would have done the trick for him instead of the several trips that he actually took.

9. 9
   nestofvipers
   Posted July 26, 2012 at 10:46 am

   I’m also thinking the only reason Boogie is even there is so Janelle can beat him this time. I don’t think anyone in the entire world ever had a burning desire to see his fug mug back on their tv screen.

10. 10
    NapaNonnie
    Posted July 26, 2012 at 10:47 am

    Just started reading the recap but have to post this. TheMiki you are brilliant. Love: “But then I see the arcade, and it looks a lot like the Champagne Room at a really shitty strip club.  The kind where all the girls are named after shit they can’t afford (Lexus, Porche, Diamond, Daycare, Cocaine, Prada, Self-Respect, etc).” I laugh every time I think about the names Daycare and Self-Respect.

11. 11
    crankyguy
    Posted July 26, 2012 at 10:47 am

    I saw some of Janelle’s Playboy photos and the boobs are obviously fake with one nipple pointed skyward and the other toward the ground in one photo. She should have had her nose fixed instead. The shadows of her nose were airbrushed so heavily that you really couldn’t tell how weird her nose actually is.

12. 12
    NikkiHughes
    Posted July 26, 2012 at 10:56 am

    So, I’m wondering……if the first coach to lose all their players gets to play the game, then wouldn’t all the other coaches want to get their players booted? If they get to play for the $500k, then yes. But if they are still playing for only $100k, then they’d want to keep them there since they’d have 3 more chances to win, right?? MAYBE, the coaches will “leave” when they lose all their players, but really be sequestered, and then if and when they all leave…..wait, that wouldn’t work. If they all leave, then there would be no one in the house, hahaha. I don’t understand this twist at all. Unless BB is REALLY going to just kick out the coaches when their teams are gone, but I could never imagine BB doing that. That would be too simple! So confused.

13. 13
    anniedawg25
    Posted July 26, 2012 at 11:09 am

    I am conviced Shane’s tank top comes from the Forever 21 Summer 2011 line. And the bleached ass pants? ugh!

    I am starting to believe Dan sucks, and I still love Janey. Maybe it’s just me, but I dont think she looks bad at all!

14. 14
    juddfan
    Posted July 26, 2012 at 11:48 am

    I’m with Napanonie, hysterical recap! Also with JasonR about Ashley’s DR’s etc. I believe it’s an act, but she did it in such a clueless way . . . and I think the conclusion was she was looking for a nerd to play monopoly all night. Her nose is looking Janelle-ish to me, and frankly, she looks stoned.

    Oh Nikki, we lost Willie, and now, oh itchy, we’re about to lose JoJo–I can only hope this means more screen time with oneL. I also think Shouty is probably more obvious a physical threat than one L . . . no offense, One L seems to play just a bit, not too hard and not too “thrown” . . . but he could be hiding some proper skills till later. Made me dislike Closet more that he singled One L out as the one to back door, rather than Shouty. It’s like Shouty is invisible to them, and how can that be . . . I was in the kitchen while he was hosting, and thank god the sink was near, as I was barfing at his shouting!!!

    Why, why, why, why, why isn’t JoJo using the vote out Danielle and get rid of Dan at the same time, then we’ll see if Dan gets booted or put in the game . . . is it me!?

15. 15
    considerthis
    Posted July 26, 2012 at 11:49 am

    Whoever told Closet Cyclops he looks good in magenta needs slapped! Too much magenta – work the rainbow boy.

    Dan sucks always has always will. Abandoning your last player who is as threatening to the other players as a toddler is not coaching it’s quitting. Plus he promises us a “hail mary” tonight – don’t hold your breath sports fans.

    Both Itchy and myself have long since subscribed to the idea that (since he is Groedner’s pet) Dan has inside scoop on what lies ahead and the sooner he sheds his dead weight the better it will be for him in the long run.

    Boogie truly does repulse me looks wise (personality wise too). He looks like a gential wart or Herbert from Family Guy.

16. 16
    itchy
    Posted July 26, 2012 at 12:12 pm

    I’m just glad Boogie and Frank didn’t do their Chilltown 2012 routine again. Ugh. Will was amusing, sort of. But not these two.

    @Nikki: We suspect that not all of the coaches have the inside dope on what will happen. From the way Dan’s playing, it really does seem as if he already knows. But he’s smart enough to figure out that there’s a good chance the coaches will be put into play.

    Or maybe he just signed on for the exposure — he has a book coming out after all — and he’s just hoping to get out of there as soon as possible?

17. 17
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted July 26, 2012 at 12:16 pm

    @Itchy: I was going to spare the gasmii the easy joke of backdooring the Closet Gay.

    @considerthis: love, love the name of Closet Cyclops… and Danielle as the beard version of Jean Grey is just too delicious to resist.

    I don’t recall Dan doing anything special on his season. He basically let Libra/Keesha alliance and the Jessie/April/Ollie alliance destroy each other until he was the only one left. I watched the clip of Keesha’s infamous birthday party (youtube Keesha BB10 birthday party, if you haven’t seen it) and you’ll see Dan lying on the couch, reading his Bible, blissfully ignorant of everything around him. Maybe that’s why his choices (save for Jodi, who he had no choice in taking) were so horrible.

    @themiki, I so thought GirlDick was a play on the whole lesbian thing (girl with a dick), but then after rereading Flipit’s last post on BB, he literally met a female version of Evil Dick. After I realized this, I cried a little inside.

18. 18
    solastalgia
    Posted July 26, 2012 at 2:03 pm

    Hee! The Cereal & Salmon choice is a riff off of the Willie/Frank fight, when Boogie said “You eat your Froot Loops and I’ll eat my salmon.”