Unless your girlfriend is a mobile spray tanner or something…
In the Have-Not room Britney talks “Strategy” with her team. I mean, officially I think I have to call this pow-wow a strategy meeting, but it’s really just a chance to sit around on uncomfortable beds and bitch about Hantz screwing them.
Did Shane sit in bleach? Or is this fashionable now…?
Time for the POV Comp! ShoutyChef is hosting and along with the HOH and the nominees, One L, Ian, and Spraytan are playing for the shitty plastic necklace of power. The point of this competition is to dive into giant bowls of fake guacamole, cheese dip, salsa, and beans to retrieve menu items and build a menu that looks identical to this menu right here:
Oh, and they do it dressed like this:
The reference menu is on the other side of the yard, so the players have to run over and check it each time they get a new item. Ian tells us he has a near photographic memory, which I don’t think is really a thing. I’m pretty sure that having a photographic memory is like being pregnant. There’s not really gray area there. Shane comes up with the strategy of digging out menu items first, then checking the board, then building his menu. It’s precisely what everyone should be doing, and I think everyone is. Except for Spraytan…
Seen here: the only thing in the yard that’s slower than Ashley
Spraytan has decided to memorize the first four letters of each item and then use those letters to stare blankly off into space while pondering the meaning of life and wondering if spraytanning fumes cause permanent brain-damage and/or memory loss.
My recording screwed up around here (not sure if that was just my local cable or if anyone else experienced this) so I skipped from Ian and Shane both being down to their last item to everyone but Spraytan having rung in to lock in their answers. Hopefully nothing super interesting happened during those last few minutes of competition.
I’ve had nightmares about gingers dressed as chips in kiddie pools full of fake cheese…
Eventually Spraytan wanders close enough to the bell to see that it’s shiny and bat at it, which locks in her answers and ends the game. She gets 13 out of 16 correct, proving that faker-baking has a negative impact on your mental abilities. This may explain the entire Jersey Shore cast, guys.
Everyone else got all their items correct, but Shane got them right the fastest so he wins the Power of Veto. Britney tackles him in the vat of fake guac, while Hoho does her best to look happy for him (and does a totally decent job of it) and Danielle realizes that she’s definitely going up for elimination this week.