Big Brother 14 Recap: No one ever suspects the virgin…

Recaps

By TheMiki | Thursday, August 23, 2012 | 12:22 am | 14 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Big Brother, Recaps

 

How am I the smartest person in this house???  I’m not even smart!!!

That is rather stupid, now that she mentions it.  I mean, if I were Boogie and I told exactly ONE PERSON in the house that I wanted to nominate Shane and Britney, and then someone told them that, I would probably suspect that the narc was the one person I told…

 

Nah… Must have been Ashley…

So… We’re halfway through and all we’ve done is watch Froogie make wild accusations.  Could we have a ridiculous PoV competition or something?  Oh hey, look!  Jen and Ashley and Chef are still in the house.  Who knew?  The veto players are:  Jen, Ian, and Ashley, along with the nominees and HoH (as per usual).  So, the most useless players in the house Vs. Shane and Frank and Boogie?  This should be a crazy exciting Veto Comp.  Just crazy exciting.

 

Try not to trip over your overwhelming mediocrity

Oh wait, Ashley is excited!  There’s candy everywhere and Ashley loves candy.  The object of the game is earn three lollipops by estimating how many pieces of various candy are in large containers of said candy. Once you hear everyone’s answer you can either stay or fold.  If you stay and you’re the farthest from the correct answer then you’re out of the game.  If you fold you’re not eligible to win a lollipop.  

 

No, they’re not Fentanyl lollipops…

There’s different strategies afoot… Ashely’s involves “Pictures and looking at pictures and deciding how many pictures fit in a picture.”  So mostly it involves being really high.  

 

Never seen someone so happy to suck at guessing

First round Ashley, Jen, and Ian fold.  Frank gets the lollipop and Boogie gets eliminated.  

 

Second round Ashely is somehow even higher and less logical, but she’s at least sober enough to fold.  Jen gets knocked out and Frank gets a second lolly.  

 

Third round Shane gets a lolly and Ian gets knocked out.  Boogie bitches that Ian sucks at competitions, and I giggle cause Ian threw that mofucker like a CHAMP.

 

Dear Dan, this is how you successfully throw a comp without looking like a giant toolbag. Out in the third round with a fairly close guess.

Fourth round Frank would have won, but he folds.  Shane gets knocked out and Ashley gets her first lolly.  So… it’s Frank vs Ashley, which I think means we’re just handing that PoV over to Frank, yeah?  Cause… Ashley can’t count to ten under the best of circumstances.  She folds, which is retarded, and hands the veto to Frank since he already had two lollipops.  She would have lost anyway, but jesus woman!  How high are you????

It’s like not running on a pop fly when your team has two outs and you’re on third.  And that’s the only sports metaphor you’ll ever hear me use. Ever.  

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TheMiki
About

I enjoy mocking other people because it's the only thing I'm really good at, and I think we should all use the gifts God gave us.  My childhood was way more fucked up than yours, and yet I'm a fully productive member of society with no criminal record or bastard children.  As such, listening to coked-out hookers whine about their baby-daddies getting arrested and how they live this life cause their mama didn't breastfeed them makes me want to throw furniture at my TV.  When I'm not tearing down people on television I like to paint, write, drink coffee, hike, and make pathetic attempts to play the guitar, because chicks dig a lady with an instrument.

14 Comments

  1. 1
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted August 23, 2012 at 2:14 am

    That “what’d he do?” pic of Ian is kinda hot. What’d he do?

  2. 2
    AntSuck
    Posted August 23, 2012 at 6:22 am

    “You are such a vagina!”
    “But I’m terrified of vaginas!”

    Oh god, that had me laughing so loud.

    Here’s to Boogie’s eviction tonight. And since tonight’s a double eviction, the chance of Frank getting evicted isn’t small.

  3. 3
    considerthis
    Posted August 23, 2012 at 7:03 am

    Jennnn is such a bad ass – I fear we have awoken a sleeping giant (lesbian) and she might just come in second to last this week. Be afraid houseguests be VERY afraid.

    Shane was literally trembling when Froogie confronted him after nominations. Are they contractually obligated to let people in the HOH room and talk to them? Shane should have given them the “Get the Fuck outta my room, you are on the block – deal with it. Frank mull that over while take a long needed shower and Boogie plan your strategy while you are picking the scabs off your warts.”

  4. 4
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted August 23, 2012 at 7:40 am

    How does Boogie strike fear into other house guests? Shane should have just laughed in his face instead of being so desperate to deflect blame onto other people. Boogie even had Dan stammering when he confronted him about the plan to get out Frank on the night Frank was saved by reason of the coaches becoming players so there was no eviction.

    On BBAD last night, Brit was having sobbing fits because it was her husband’s birthday and she was separated from him. Boogie was telling Frank and Ashley how much he had matured because the old Boogie would have mind fucked Brit by telling her what a bad wife she was by literally abandoning her husband after three months of marriage to spend another three months with new people. The old Boogie would have said, “You know what’s happening right now, Brit? His buddies are taking him out drinking, filling his head with what a heartless bitch you are, and by the end of the night he will be fucking some slut he has picked up. Your marriage is over, and it’s COMPLETELY your fault.” I hate Boogie but at the same time it would have been wonderful to see him do that.

  5. 5
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted August 23, 2012 at 8:03 am

    I actually liked Shane last night and through his stammering to Britney, he made a valid point. His first HOH was wasted with the producer-influenced Frank save and he nominated three people that week and, so, he was gun-shy of doing the same thing this week with Pandora’s Box looming to save Frank again had he not won the veto. I didn’t understand why he couldn’t tell Froogie that he wanted to target bigger threats in the house and keep floaters in the game since he’ll more than likely win more of the physical competitions if Frank is out of the game. I don’t think Shane was wrong; I just think he should have been better prepared to explain why he made the move to target Froogie when asked by them directly.

  6. 6
    zerocool
    Posted August 23, 2012 at 8:18 am

    sarcasatire – I thought the same thing about Ian. WTH?

  7. 7
    Trentonton
    Posted August 23, 2012 at 9:08 am

    Hehehe. Hard blinking genital warts.

  8. 8
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted August 23, 2012 at 10:32 am

    The Boogie fake tears situation (did anything come out?) made me laugh.

    1/2 of me wants him to leave and 1/2 of me wants him to stay.

  9. 9
    Faye
    Posted August 23, 2012 at 10:35 am

    “It’s time to bring out the big guns and start placing third or fourth in comps instead of dead last. Watch out, bitches!”

    How do I love The Miki..let me count the ways!!

  10. 10
    mere2142
    Posted August 23, 2012 at 10:54 am

    If it wasn’t for the recaps, I would have given up on this weeks ago.

    The only person worth pulling for is Ian!

  11. 11
    TinkerbellAPixie TinkerbellAPixie
    Posted August 23, 2012 at 11:44 am

    Boogie and Janelle have both pulled out the fake tears and both been busted on it by Brit in the DR. They are so sure all these newbies are idiots – but I love that these newbies are sending their arses home. Bye Bye Boogie!

  12. 12
    TaxGirl TaxGirl
    Posted August 23, 2012 at 11:57 am

    I’m usually a lurker and not a poster but I just had to pipe in today.

    zerocool & sarcasatire are right! Ian looks a bit hot in that photo. No glasses maybe? What I thought was funny in that scene is that he is not a good liar (he has a smirk on face during the entire exchange) but Froogie doesn’t notice.

    I hope, hope, hope Boogie goes tonight! First he mocks the HOH (in the diary room) for NOT nominating him in the early going, then he is trying to break his alliance with his comments to Ian, then he is pissed that he is on the block! In the last HOH, he didn’t even try for HOH – I guess he’d rather let Frank do all the heavy lifting. He was out first in the POV – more avoidance. Out, out damn Boogie.

    I agree that tonight’s episode should be a better pace with an eviction, HOH, Veto comp, another eviction, another HOH and maybe a have-not comp.

  13. 13
    carol
    Posted August 23, 2012 at 4:54 pm

    I know I am going to get laughed at for this, but there were some moments during this episode were I thought Shane was hot. But then they would show him in his pink tank top, and poof, no longer hot. Ian has changed in the house, it’s almost like he has actually grown up this summer.

    This episode was so dull because of all the great feed-cappers/forum posters. There weren’t any good diary sessions either. I found myself using the jump-30-seconds-forward button a lot . Hope tonight’s live show is better.

  14. 14
    niknakflipflop niknakflipflop
    Posted August 23, 2012 at 6:44 pm

    @carol You have a jump 30 seconds button??? I’m insanely jealous right now: ( Fucking Comcast remote, all I have is a 5 minute jump! Bastards.

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