Big Brother 14 Recap: Stay Classy

Recaps

By TheMiki | Friday, August 10, 2012 | 2:30 am | 16 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Big Brother, Recaps

Hey hey, BB fans!  It’s eviction night!  The best night of the week!  Woohoo!

The Chenbot is in top form tonight, in a classy evening gown and a necklace from Home Depot.  

 

It’s handy when she shows up to her night job at The Naughty Kitty

Let’s see what sort of international supermodels they pulled the audience pool from this week:

Hawt!

Chen tells us that it’s Frank’s third time on the block and Janelle’s third time on Big Brother, and only one of them will survive the night.  I wish that were true.  If only evictions on Big Brother were more like evictions from The Hunger Games…

Katniss votes to evict… 

Previously on Big Brother, Danielle won HoH and nominated Frank and Wil.  Then she won the Power of Veto and took Wil off the block and put Janelle up instead.  Chenbot tells us that to pull off a blindside you have to have guts and grace under pressure.  I think she forgot about having to have Dan controlling your every move… 

 

Remember last week when everything was in black and white?  That was weird…

Post Veto Ceremony, Britney shares her thoughts on the obligatory post ceremony hugs and how no one gives a shit but everyone pretends to. Wil  does some opera note to celebrate his removal from the block, and Boogie takes a bow for some reason that probably has to do with genital warts.  

 

In case the editors let you forget that he’s an idiot

Janelle asks Danielle why she nominated her, and Danielle says that she heard that Janelle was coming after her.  Janelle wants to know where she heard such crazy rumors, but Danielle won’t tell her.  Instead she says that Frank’s probably the one going home anyway, which is a dirty dirty lie.

 

Danielle’s “I’m totally not lying” face

Dan decides to have a chat with Janelle in the kitchen, where he lies and says that he had no idea Danielle was gonna do that, and it must have been one of those “Girl things.”  Sheesh.  I’m amazed he didn’t tell her that it was Danielle’s time of the month.  Boogie walks into the kitchen and takes his sweet-ass time finding something to eat, just to annoy them both.

 

Did someone order an awkward silence?

Janelle runs around kissing hands and shaking babies in an attempt to earn votes from house guests.  She’s convinced she has secured votes from Dan, Wil, Joe, Jen, and Britney, which would be enough to stay if she weren’t being played like a cheap fiddle.  When Janelle corners Britney, Brit smartly uses her reputation as an idiot to her advantage by pretending she has no idea what’s happening or why.

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TheMiki
About

I enjoy mocking other people because it's the only thing I'm really good at, and I think we should all use the gifts God gave us.  My childhood was way more fucked up than yours, and yet I'm a fully productive member of society with no criminal record or bastard children.  As such, listening to coked-out hookers whine about their baby-daddies getting arrested and how they live this life cause their mama didn't breastfeed them makes me want to throw furniture at my TV.  When I'm not tearing down people on television I like to paint, write, drink coffee, hike, and make pathetic attempts to play the guitar, because chicks dig a lady with an instrument.

16 Comments

  1. 1
    alice
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 4:41 am

    im going to miss Janelles greatest assets..both right and left..bet her husbands glad shes home..if i was married to her those two would be my best friends..”hello fellas..how ya doing?”
    now we’re force to watch boogey woogey man win this thing…if i was ian i’d try to score with ashley..she’ll never know…the poor girls a few fries short of a happy meal..just ask her to get on her back and then ask her if she can act as a cheerleader and do a split..she’ll think its a dallas cowboy cheerleading try outs!!! SCORE!!!!!!!!!!

  2. 2
    Deguy123
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 4:57 am

    I’m really liking this season and I’m glad a big move was made this early on. I’m wondering if this Silent Alliance will stick this week and we will see Joe, Jenn, Wil or Ashley go up on the block.

    Also what the hell is going on with Ashley?? She looked like she was actually sleep walking during the HOH comp! She just always looks very confused and doesnt seem to know where she is!

  3. 3
    Pikey578
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 5:06 am

    Seeing Jani leave last night was bittersweet – she is too dangerous to leave in the game but I liked her more than some of those left. It saddened me to see how the players were looking over at Mike to have him tell them who to put up on the game (Ashley excepted, of course). I am still rooting for an Ian/Dan final 2…

  4. 4
    carol
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 5:53 am

    I know NBC owns the Olympics this summer and BB is on CBS, but it would be nice if the house guest were shown an hour or two a day of Olympic footage. They could even tape delay it like NBC is doing, just show it on west coast time, so it doesn’t mess with the live show for the east coast.

    The producers knew that the coaches were totally going to come back into the game. The HOH comp that started right after had enough slots for all the players including the new coaches. If they weren’t sure about it they would have done a comp that if the coaches were not back in the game it wouldn’t have been so obvious.

    I think Boogie wanted to get out of the HOH comp. By not being HOH, he can still control the game without placing a huge target on his back.

  5. 5
    zerocool
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 6:23 am

    I agree with carol, Boogie threw the HOH to Frank. I also think Dan missed on purpose.

    According to our live feeders, Ashley is doped up all the time but I’m not sure why.

  6. 6
    nestofvipers nestofvipers
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 8:11 am

    These HG’s are such sheep.. if you watch carefully during the HOH you can see Boogie directing who they should pair up against each other and it never included Frank. Great idea guys! You just evicted an ally and the guy you’ve been gunning for all summer totally gets a free pass to the HOH finals. At this point I’m glad that I no longer have a horse in the race and can just enjoy watching all these losers screw each other over. Let the bloodbath begin!

  7. 7
    sweetblondie
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 8:19 am

    *sniff* bye, bye Jani… :(

    Now I’m on Team Anyone Other Than Boogie.

  8. 8
    Chicken Lips
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 9:57 am

    You know, everyone is talking about Janelle having a ton of plastic surgery. I think she should ask for her money back because any good plastic surgeon would have fixed that nose. Make your boobs and lips as big as you want (you’ll look ridiculous, but whatevs) but at least fix the nose.

  9. 9
    MrsC
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 10:15 am

    I am so bummed she is gone, she was my favorite, but that was well played.
    Someone needs to give me the back story on why Boogie hates Janielle so much. If anything, he totally screwed her over and evicted her twice before, but she didn’t hold a grudge. The creepy, db way of his goodbye message shows that he hasn’t grown up and that was hate on a deep personal level. His vote to evict he said this was for Will and Erin. I am assuming that is Dr. Will (with 2 freakin’ L’s, thankyouverymuch) and Erin Brodie (holy sh*^, I just googled to get her last name: they have a baby together!! and are engaged!)

  10. 10
    WaffleBoy
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 10:25 am

    Does Garry Trudeau know that Wil is walking around with Mike Doonesberry’s nose?

  11. 11
    zerocool
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 10:50 am

    I read somewhere that he dedicated it to Dr. Will & Erin because on Allstars Janelle flirted heavily with Dr. Will and Erin “stuck by him”. She may have been genuinely attracted to him or it could’ve been gameplay. So maybe the animosity started there?

  12. 12
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 12:44 pm

    @Chicken Lips, tell us about it! If you look at Janelle’s Playboy pictures, her boobs are obviously fake and they are much smaller than they are now. That means she has had TWO boob jobs but has left that wonky nose untouched. The Playboy pictures had her nose blurred so it didn’t look so weird, but it was obviously a problem that required touching up.

  13. 13
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 1:31 pm

    “So is anyone pissed to see Janelle go?”

    I have a personal testimony for Ashley’s new age visualization, “The Secret” type crap. With respect to Janelle’s eviction, I conceived it, I visualized it, I believed it, and I ACHIEVED it!!! It totally works.

  14. 14
    considerthis
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 7:46 pm

    Why did Dan apologize to America when he evicted Janelle and said he did everythinghe could to save her? Does he think that outside the Big Brother house it is 1935 and we are all hunched around our radio waiting to hear the votes?

  15. 15
    annie anniedawg25
    Posted August 11, 2012 at 9:25 am

    Yeah I’m d to see janelle go….she’s always been one of my favorites going back to the kaysar days….in fact that was my fav season of all time……buuuut I have to admit this thing was very well played by boogie. I refuse to say Danielle because she was just the puppet. Frank being Hoh will be interesting…will he keep his word and alliance? I hope not! Muahhhh haaaahhaaaaa (evil laugh)

    Ashley has severe back pain most of the time…..in fact it’s been so bad on the feeds she’s in bed a lot and had to be helped to the bathroom. I bet she took loads of painkillers before the Hoh comp thinking it would be a physical game, and it ended up being trivia. she was tooooooooasted!

    And yes I am wondering two things about Dan…wtf is that blob on his shirt? I used to live in Michigan and have no clue. Also what, did he mean by the “sorry to America” comment? Maybe because hes still pretending this was America’s choice sending coaches into the game. Haha good try Dan.

  16. 16
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted August 12, 2012 at 11:31 am

    @Anniedawg and @considerthis, I assumed Dan knew Janelle was a fan favorite and apologized for voting her out.

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