Big Brother 14 Recap: Stay Classy

Recaps

By TheMiki | Friday, August 10, 2012 | 2:30 am | 16 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Big Brother, Recaps

 

After a brief commercial break, Chenbot gets the dramatic music going to give the nominees a shot at pleading their cases.  Frank stands up and tries to be funny and charming.  He’s not though.  Chenbot calls him Ron Burgundy.

 

Ron Burgundy wouldn’t be caught dead in that headband.

Janelle stands up and says it’s okay if they don’t vote to keep her, but they should.

 Voting time!  Is that a click counter in Chenbot’s hand?  Is that really necessary?

You can’t suck at math!  You’re Asian! You’re fucking up my lazy world view based entirely on stereotypes. 

Boogie says some douchey shit and then votes to evict Janelle.  Jen votes to evict Janelle.  Joe votes to evict Frank, and only half-shouts the decision, which freaks me the fuck out.  Wil votes to evict Janelle, Ashley votes to evict Janelle, Britney votes to evict Janelle, Shane votes to evict Janelle, Dan shouts and is creepy and votes to evict Janelle, and finally Ian votes to evict Janelle. 

 

What the fuck is on his shirt?

Ouch!  By a vote of 8 to 1 Janelle is evicted.  I think she knew she was going home, but it must suck to realize the entire house was in on it.  I bet Joe’s feeling out of the loop.  Hey, awkward obligatory hug time!

The skirt is to hide unwanted boners… 

Janelle jogs out to chat with Chenbot, while another band of Twitiots regale us with their thoughts on Big Brother.  Not one to pull punches, Chenbot reminds Janelle that only one person voted to keep her. 

Also, your dog is ugly and you’re not getting any younger.  

 

These exit interviews are so boring!  Gah!   Blah blah, Janelle wanted to protect Wil and Joe, blah.  Boogie is her rival blah.  Janelle is rooting for Dan, although after watching the episodes I doubt she’ll still feel that way.  

 House guest speeches are nice-ish.  Dan and Brit express sorrow,  Joe shouts a lot, Boogie gloats and says, “Always a bridesmaid, never a BB Bride.”  Janelle says, “He’s such a loser!” and then the sound goes out thanks to censorship, but I can read lips well enough to tell that she also called him a douche-bag.  I didn’t even know you couldn’t say that on television.  Hmmmm….

 

Oh well, time for the HoH competition.  It’s BB Battle of the Bands.  It’s a two at a time instant elimination game.  The players listen to a song about a competition that happened this season and ring in first with the correct answer to whether it was a veto, coach, or HoH competition.  It’s about as painful as it sounds.

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TheMiki
About

I enjoy mocking other people because it's the only thing I'm really good at, and I think we should all use the gifts God gave us.  My childhood was way more fucked up than yours, and yet I'm a fully productive member of society with no criminal record or bastard children.  As such, listening to coked-out hookers whine about their baby-daddies getting arrested and how they live this life cause their mama didn't breastfeed them makes me want to throw furniture at my TV.  When I'm not tearing down people on television I like to paint, write, drink coffee, hike, and make pathetic attempts to play the guitar, because chicks dig a lady with an instrument.

16 Comments

  1. 1
    alice
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 4:41 am

    im going to miss Janelles greatest assets..both right and left..bet her husbands glad shes home..if i was married to her those two would be my best friends..”hello fellas..how ya doing?”
    now we’re force to watch boogey woogey man win this thing…if i was ian i’d try to score with ashley..she’ll never know…the poor girls a few fries short of a happy meal..just ask her to get on her back and then ask her if she can act as a cheerleader and do a split..she’ll think its a dallas cowboy cheerleading try outs!!! SCORE!!!!!!!!!!

  2. 2
    Deguy123
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 4:57 am

    I’m really liking this season and I’m glad a big move was made this early on. I’m wondering if this Silent Alliance will stick this week and we will see Joe, Jenn, Wil or Ashley go up on the block.

    Also what the hell is going on with Ashley?? She looked like she was actually sleep walking during the HOH comp! She just always looks very confused and doesnt seem to know where she is!

  3. 3
    Pikey578
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 5:06 am

    Seeing Jani leave last night was bittersweet – she is too dangerous to leave in the game but I liked her more than some of those left. It saddened me to see how the players were looking over at Mike to have him tell them who to put up on the game (Ashley excepted, of course). I am still rooting for an Ian/Dan final 2…

  4. 4
    carol
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 5:53 am

    I know NBC owns the Olympics this summer and BB is on CBS, but it would be nice if the house guest were shown an hour or two a day of Olympic footage. They could even tape delay it like NBC is doing, just show it on west coast time, so it doesn’t mess with the live show for the east coast.

    The producers knew that the coaches were totally going to come back into the game. The HOH comp that started right after had enough slots for all the players including the new coaches. If they weren’t sure about it they would have done a comp that if the coaches were not back in the game it wouldn’t have been so obvious.

    I think Boogie wanted to get out of the HOH comp. By not being HOH, he can still control the game without placing a huge target on his back.

  5. 5
    zerocool
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 6:23 am

    I agree with carol, Boogie threw the HOH to Frank. I also think Dan missed on purpose.

    According to our live feeders, Ashley is doped up all the time but I’m not sure why.

  6. 6
    nestofvipers nestofvipers
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 8:11 am

    These HG’s are such sheep.. if you watch carefully during the HOH you can see Boogie directing who they should pair up against each other and it never included Frank. Great idea guys! You just evicted an ally and the guy you’ve been gunning for all summer totally gets a free pass to the HOH finals. At this point I’m glad that I no longer have a horse in the race and can just enjoy watching all these losers screw each other over. Let the bloodbath begin!

  7. 7
    sweetblondie
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 8:19 am

    *sniff* bye, bye Jani… :(

    Now I’m on Team Anyone Other Than Boogie.

  8. 8
    Chicken Lips
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 9:57 am

    You know, everyone is talking about Janelle having a ton of plastic surgery. I think she should ask for her money back because any good plastic surgeon would have fixed that nose. Make your boobs and lips as big as you want (you’ll look ridiculous, but whatevs) but at least fix the nose.

  9. 9
    MrsC
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 10:15 am

    I am so bummed she is gone, she was my favorite, but that was well played.
    Someone needs to give me the back story on why Boogie hates Janielle so much. If anything, he totally screwed her over and evicted her twice before, but she didn’t hold a grudge. The creepy, db way of his goodbye message shows that he hasn’t grown up and that was hate on a deep personal level. His vote to evict he said this was for Will and Erin. I am assuming that is Dr. Will (with 2 freakin’ L’s, thankyouverymuch) and Erin Brodie (holy sh*^, I just googled to get her last name: they have a baby together!! and are engaged!)

  10. 10
    WaffleBoy
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 10:25 am

    Does Garry Trudeau know that Wil is walking around with Mike Doonesberry’s nose?

  11. 11
    zerocool
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 10:50 am

    I read somewhere that he dedicated it to Dr. Will & Erin because on Allstars Janelle flirted heavily with Dr. Will and Erin “stuck by him”. She may have been genuinely attracted to him or it could’ve been gameplay. So maybe the animosity started there?

  12. 12
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 12:44 pm

    @Chicken Lips, tell us about it! If you look at Janelle’s Playboy pictures, her boobs are obviously fake and they are much smaller than they are now. That means she has had TWO boob jobs but has left that wonky nose untouched. The Playboy pictures had her nose blurred so it didn’t look so weird, but it was obviously a problem that required touching up.

  13. 13
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 1:31 pm

    “So is anyone pissed to see Janelle go?”

    I have a personal testimony for Ashley’s new age visualization, “The Secret” type crap. With respect to Janelle’s eviction, I conceived it, I visualized it, I believed it, and I ACHIEVED it!!! It totally works.

  14. 14
    considerthis
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 7:46 pm

    Why did Dan apologize to America when he evicted Janelle and said he did everythinghe could to save her? Does he think that outside the Big Brother house it is 1935 and we are all hunched around our radio waiting to hear the votes?

  15. 15
    annie anniedawg25
    Posted August 11, 2012 at 9:25 am

    Yeah I’m d to see janelle go….she’s always been one of my favorites going back to the kaysar days….in fact that was my fav season of all time……buuuut I have to admit this thing was very well played by boogie. I refuse to say Danielle because she was just the puppet. Frank being Hoh will be interesting…will he keep his word and alliance? I hope not! Muahhhh haaaahhaaaaa (evil laugh)

    Ashley has severe back pain most of the time…..in fact it’s been so bad on the feeds she’s in bed a lot and had to be helped to the bathroom. I bet she took loads of painkillers before the Hoh comp thinking it would be a physical game, and it ended up being trivia. she was tooooooooasted!

    And yes I am wondering two things about Dan…wtf is that blob on his shirt? I used to live in Michigan and have no clue. Also what, did he mean by the “sorry to America” comment? Maybe because hes still pretending this was America’s choice sending coaches into the game. Haha good try Dan.

  16. 16
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted August 12, 2012 at 11:31 am

    @Anniedawg and @considerthis, I assumed Dan knew Janelle was a fan favorite and apologized for voting her out.

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