Big Brother 14 Recap: The Game is Afoot!


By TheMiki | | 12:32 am | 32 Comments
Posted in: Big Brother, Recaps

 

This face means she’s being totally genuine, guys

Round 4: Danielle – 9, Frank – 9, Ian – 4.  Ian pulls “It’s a dog’s life” which means you dress like a dog and sleep in the BB dog house and have to stay in the pen unless another houseguest takes you for a walk on a leash.  He keeps it because he’s more interested in staying in the game than going to Maui.  Also, I think he felt bad about the notion of giving that “prize” to Jen, who is sort of his teammate.

 

Round 5: Frank – 9, Danielle -10.  Frank pulls $5,000, but trades Wil for PoV, which is too bad because letting Wil keep it would have been pretty ideal for Danielle.  Danielle pulls the “Spirit-Tard” and trades it for the PoV (obviously), which means we have to see GingerTits in a unitard.  Gross.

 

Someone should really tape that card to her back when she’s not looking though

This week’s poll:

 

Why are you wasting a dollar texting a vote for such inane drivel?  Text 1 for “I’m an idiot.” Text 2 for “I’m a billionaire.”  Text 3 for “Both 1 and 2, I’m Mitt Romney.”

 

Time for a Froogie whine-time session.  Whisper Whisper Whisper… Boogie wants Janelle out Whisper Whisper.  I don’t care what these tools are saying enough to turn the TV up, but they look like they’re being self-congratulatory and obnoxious.  So that’s something new and exciting.

 

Here’s Gingertits in his Spirit-Tard

 

Here’s Ian being way too stoked about his punishment, which looks like something I’ve seen advertised on Craigslist… 

 

Ian thinks other players will keep him if they remember he’s willing to take all the punishment, which is really his only strategy thus far.  He has Jen walk him to the HoH room, and she passes him off to Dan so that he can talk game.  They make a Final Five pact and call themselves the Quack Pack cause Ian has a weird thing with ducks.  

 

And punishment

Boogie corners Danielle and tells her she should really use the PoV to put Janelle up for eviction.  Because Danielle is a fucking puppet it’s not a bad idea, but I hope Danielle isn’t stupid enough to do something like that without talking to her alliance first.  Yeah, Dan won’t agree necessarily, but if he’s outvoted then Danielle could back-door Janelle without pissing off everyone on her side.

TheMiki
About

I enjoy mocking other people because it's the only thing I'm really good at, and I think we should all use the gifts God gave us.  My childhood was way more fucked up than yours, and yet I'm a fully productive member of society with no criminal record or bastard children.  As such, listening to coked-out hookers whine about their baby-daddies getting arrested and how they live this life cause their mama didn't breastfeed them makes me want to throw furniture at my TV.  When I'm not tearing down people on television I like to paint, write, drink coffee, hike, and make pathetic attempts to play the guitar, because chicks dig a lady with an instrument.

32 Comments

  1. 1
    Pikey578
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 3:45 am

    Loved the recap! I thought the diary scene with Frank, Boogie and Ian was priceless! Go Team. Woof!

    I want either Ian or Dan to win this – I know Dan has already won but he is so good at this game (well, most of the time)…

  2. 2
    featherhead
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 4:54 am

    I hate Boogie but he totally owned Janelle in that conversation (with all the coaches). He wasn’t falling for it, and Janelle’s silence spoke volumes. I think that’s when Dan realized she could not be trusted and his hopes for a Coaches Alliance shattered!

  3. 3
    Deguy123
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 5:07 am

    Janelle actually voted herself out because she could have just agreed to get rid of Joe! I’m very confused why she didn’t say anything when the people in POWER were asking her!

    I’m liking this season because people are playing the Veto when it’s normally never played unless you are on the block and won the veto yourself!

    Yeah Ashley and Joe got ZERO airtime yesterday! Did we even she Ashley??

  4. 4
    Deguy123
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 5:07 am

    Janelle actually voted herself out because she could have just agreed to get rid of Joe! I’m very confused why she didn’t say anything when the people in POWER were asking her!

    I’m liking this season because people are playing the Veto when it’s normally never played unless you are on the block and won the veto yourself!

    Yeah Ashley and Joe got ZERO airtime yesterday! Did we even see Ashley??

  5. 5
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 5:15 am

    UGH!!! Don’t make me like Danielle for making this move. (As an Auburn alum I am programmed to dislike her) So much smarter than the newbies from last season. So Willie was right the whole time. I wonder how the hamsters feel about him now.

  6. 6
    considerthis
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 5:36 am

    Need some clarification Gasmii…

    Confused as to how Janelle is the spawn of all evil and cannot be trusted and is a horrible liar when she refused to jump on the Boogie bandwagon and must be dismissed ASAP? What if Janelle would have said OK let’s use the power of veto and put Girl Dick on the block and take Frank off or even Ian (although Boogs is unaware that he has jumped ship) would Boogie have jumped at the idea of having 1 or 2 of his former team members up? Why is he allowed to protect and deflect but when Janelle does it – it is disloyal?

    So much for Dan wanting to protect the coaches – not sure if he’s that brilliant or just keeps coming up with and abandoning strategies until one final works???

  7. 7
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 5:59 am

    Had Dan not told Boogie about the plan to backdoor Frank last week, the plan to work with the coaches might actually have gone through.

    I don’t actually care for Danielle, but backdooring a “great” player is one way to solidify your final two consideration, as well as winning HOH/veto. I hope that Danielle will start to separate herself from Dan a little bit (look at what happened to Jodi and Kara, after all) and start to play her own game.

    Does anyone have any idea why Shane and Brit were “50/50″ on the idea of backdooring Janelle? Was that in case she doesn’t go home tonight, they can argue that they went along with the majority, rather than actually facilitated the plan? They seemed to be hedging their bets and I’m actually glad the game is heating up.

    Why can’t Ian go to Joe, Ashley, Will, and Jen and create a Leftovers Alliance? Ian could make the argument that no one wants to work with them and if they don’t work together, none of them have a shot in hell of winning and that their five votes and it would be a counter to the edited power base shaping up in the house.

    I don’t care who goes home, either, but I hate Janelle with every fiber of my being. Bye bye bitch! (hopefully)

  8. 8
    TheMiki themiki
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 6:17 am

    @considerthis: I don’t think Janelle is the root of all evil. Well, not based on anything that happened last night or anything. I just straight don’t like her. Usually my dislike for Boogie is much stronger, but he was borderline reasonable and objective last night. Janelle is a super strong player who wins competitions, and the other players would be smart to vote her out over Frank. Even though Frank annoys me more than she does…

  9. 9
    AntSuck
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 6:20 am

    For the record, I am perfectly fine with Joe having no confessionals.

  10. 10
    considerthis
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 6:43 am

    I guess I was just surprised at how insulted and outraged the coaches seemed to be when Janey actually hesitated in being ready,willing and able to put an established ally on the block as every single one of them would have had the exact same reaction. The whole conversation just reeked of hypocrisy to me.

  11. 11
    alice
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 6:51 am

    its been hard for me watching this show because im a guy and seeing Janelle all the time i seem to be drawn to her assets…i cant even remember what her face looks like only those beautiful pumps of heaven…sniff..im going miss Janelle!!!

  12. 12
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 7:57 am

    Mike Boogie shouldn’t wear shorts and knee high socks. He looks like he’s been hanging out at the senior center.

  13. 13
    chooch850 chooch850
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 8:08 am

    Boogie DID offer up Ian or Jenn , but said they would be a waste of a VETO . They aren’t a threat. Chef Joe IS a threat because he had been heard (right on the pirate ship first) that the newbies needed to get out the coaches. So, if Janelle truly wanted to form a coach’s alliance, get rid of the biggest threat to that alliance, Chef Joe. Everyone wanted to do that, but her. The show edited a lot of that conversation.

    As for Danielle, she is not motivated by strategy at all. She wants Janelle out for personal reasons only. She thinks Janelle called her FAT! The girl is totally delusional and the more she talks, the more she believes herself. She is only driven by Dan. BB only makes it LOOK like she’s in charge.

    And Ian…. he is star-struck by Dan.

  14. 14
    Miss Molly
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 8:30 am

    “Had Dan not told Boogie about the plan to backdoor Frank last week, the plan to work with the coaches might actually have gone through.” Thank you Derek Hazelton. No one seems to be calling Dan out on his flapping his yap just to save himself and screwed over everyone else because no matter what Boogie says now – he hates all of them for trying to backstab him and Frank.

    Danielle will need a new nemesis once Janelle is gone. I am thinking Ashley will be the new “she said I was fat, ugly and mean” girl.

  15. 15
    zerocool
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 9:12 am

    Text 1 for “I’m an idiot.” Text 2 for “I’m a billionaire.” Text 3 for “Both 1 and 2, I’m Mitt Romney.”

    I was crying over how funny that was, thank you TheMiki!

    Super happy that Janelle might go, have always hated her. She dug her own grave this time.

  16. 16
    considerthis
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 10:59 am

    Thx chooch 4 filling in the blanks as I only watch the shows and based on editing it looked like hypocrisy. Now I can see why Janelle looks very shady.

  17. 17
    sweetblondie
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 11:04 am

    I’ve loved Janelle since season “Bye bye bitches!”…

    Now, I missed the first several episodes of this season…can someone explain the Janelle hate?

    She’s smart, beautiful, voluptuous…and for the most part plays cirlces around the other players…Did I miss something this season?

  18. 18
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 11:32 am

    “She’s smart, beautiful, voluptuous”

    Smart and voluptuous (thanks to her fake tits) maybe, but beautiful? She is the classic butterface in my opinion. None of that would cause me to either like her or hate her, but I hate her because I hate highly manipulative people in general. She is your best friend if she needs something out of you, but otherwise she wouldn’t give you the time of day. On BBAD she told Danielle that JoJo had called her fat not because of game play, but because she was bored (she said this out loud) and wanted to stir some shit just for the fun of it. HATE! I also hate the fake crying with no tears à la Taylor Armstrong.

  19. 19
    juddfan
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 1:00 pm

    @the miki, “Seriously, can the other contestants just stand in the hall outside the DR and listen in while he shouts all his brilliant plans at us?”

    I ask this all the time . . . I seem to recall in the past people standing outside the door and listening.

    i’m not convinced this is Snot’s idea . . . whatev, I don’t want to give him credit for anything except for wearing the stupidest ass clothes and hats! And headbands . . . HATE!

    Stank does look rather dirty . . . ew. I’m more neutral on Jani, but I’m glad to see any coach get kicked to the curb. It looked like lust in Danielle’s eyes when she saw the chance to sock it to her.

    I would be aligning with Ian, fer sure. I would never align with Snot and Stank, and would back door them both as quickly as I could.

    Derek, you’re plan sounds brilliant . .. I don’t know why they never seem to look at the big picture.

    I’ll be interested to see how they edit the upcoming time . . . but I say nothing! Glad Wil was taken off the block. And Miki, it’s more than Aquanet needed for that birds nest. He’s beginning to look like Britney!

  20. 20
    Chris Velazquez
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 1:42 pm

    Man, I can’t believe I miss last season’s cast. I only come to browse the recaps and it only seems to be getting worse and worse. Also, can Booger just die already? Nobody’ll miss him, except the retards that make his ridiculous hats, because then they’d be out of a job.

    Also, can a player be considered “good” at playing the game if the only reason he or she is doing well is that everybody else around them are too retarded to live? I already got to put up with people saying Rob Fucking Mariano is one of the best Survivor players ever, I really don’t need to hear that a braindead fucktard like Booger “played a smart move”.

  21. 21
    sweetblondie
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 1:44 pm

    Crankguy,

    But doesn’t being a good manipulator make for a good player? Do we know she’s like this in “real life” or just on camera for BB…

    Either way…i still dig her…

  22. 22
    Mims
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 4:49 pm

    Wanted to know what your opinions are :from http://www.hamsterwatch.com/

    “So I’m on strike for a bit, since I love the concept of the show and the feeds, but something was leaked to some of them that could affect another certain eviction, and that’s beyond wrong.. personally I don’t really care if this does or doesn’t affect tonight’s outcome, but if a technical problem let them hear a Diary session in the habitat, especially Dan’s, they knew it and would have stopped the session unless they wanted it to be heard”

    Thank you to all the feedcappers, I wouldn’t know what was really happening in the house without you!!

  23. 23
    Robin Robin
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 4:55 pm

    I used to like Janelle ( as much as you can “like” someone you know from tv). But the “baby talk” has got to stop. It is annoying as hell when a grown woman constantly talks in a voice that sounds like it is coming from a child. It isn’t cute.

    TC, Robin

  24. 24
    kczar
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 5:07 pm

    I’m so sorry Janelle is going tonight. Anyone who thinks Boogie was upset about the reset is fooling themselves. He didn’t push the button because he knew Dan would at least.

    In that coaches meeting, he wanted Janelle to sacrifice one of her players (which she did eventually agree to in that meeting, they just didn’t show it), but not eliminate Frank, his closest ally. If any of these people think that Boogie is in an alliance with anyone but Frank, they’re fooling themselves. Dan wants to be part of Chilltown and Britney is going for a repeat of her season.

    And I really hope they start showing the extreme crazy that is Danielle. It’s a much better story than this fake shomance. She may be the craziest hamster they’ve had. And I’ve seen all 14 seasons!

  25. 25
    batman66
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 5:08 pm

    This is the 1st recap of BB I’ve read this season, and TheMiki had me grinning all the way thru it. After just catching last night’s show, now I’m excited both at the ‘game change’ AND the further hilarious recaps.
    I could not play BB worth a crap if I were given 2 HOH fixes and top-secret weekly power of veto, even after watching most of the seasons, but it astonishes me how some of the houseguests have gotten so far through the game with so little – well, ANYTHING of relevance that would merit them getting that far; however, the beginning of this sentence shows how little I know.
    I’m a Danielle whore, just LOVE looking at her, though that squeaky accent grates too much to listen to for long- but I really thought she was going to be one of the first to go, being so silly over Shane and a walking snot-filled tissue when she was on the block.
    But I was not nearly as amazed that Boogerman was trying to plant a ridiculous “seed” in naive and clueless lil’ Danielle’s head about getting rid of ‘superpower’ Janelle as much as I was astonished that she actually thought it was a GOOD idea!! I don’t think Boogerman would have had the balls to tell Janelle & the others about holding strong w/ Frank, OR made Janelle stumble when confronted about Joe, if he had not still been holding on to so much anger at being kept in the dark – in this instance, he was only slightly less weasel-ly!
    Finally, I always crushed on Janelle, my weakness I guess. But I like her for the very reason most others DON’T – as crankyguy put it, she IS “highly manipulative,” but she’s also a great competitor, a gracious loser and tolerable as a winner, and her scheming and manipulating is all in service to the game – there are blatantly stupid ways to scheme used by some, and obviously transparent ways that others try manipulation – no one can could say Janelle is either stupid OR an entirely unconvincing manipulator.
    I just love that it’s back on, I’m getting into it again, and I get to read all these great comments and recaps – which I have been for a few years now, but just commenting for the first time tonight- Hi everyone!

  26. 26
    batman66
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 5:13 pm

    Oh hell, I left out an important part: Booger’s plan WAS brilliant, Danielle got some respect from me for being more jealous and conniving to help get the plan agreed amongst the ‘Silent Six’, and as much as I’ll miss Janelle, she really DID have it coming this time around – that’s what happens when you get too cocky (cock’less’?) I guess. See ya, beeyotch!

  27. 27
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 5:25 pm

    @Chris, Rob is a decent player, but the best Survivor player is Sandra without a doubt. When you win against newbies and against all-stars with the same exact strategy and approach to the game, you are no doubt the best that ever did it.

    @Robin, I’ll forgive the baby talk, since her daughter is still an infant.

    Regarding Janelle’s manipulations, it’s all a part of the game. But, personally, I was always fonder of the Friendship Alliance (well, moreso, Maggie & Ivette, although that’s not a popular sentiment) and I was glad she played herself in BB All-Stars. I just was never a fan, but I’m not usually a fan of the hamsters that BB tries to shove down our throats (Jeff/Jordan, anyone?)

  28. 28
    annie Annie
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 7:41 pm

    I’ve always been a Janelle fan….sad to see her go this early, under these circumstances. Just seems to me Danielle was just a puppet and did what Boog and Dan told her….would she have thought about giving Janelle the boot if they didn’t bring it up first? Doubt it…..he’s so far up shane’s ass all the HOH meant to her was getting a private room to embarass herself in.
    So how does that make her a strong player, or a risk taker? she just did whatever someone (A COACH) told her to do.

  29. 29
    Robin Robin
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 8:26 pm

    Hi,

    @Derek ,I understand the baby talk when talking to an infant, heck I baby talk my furbaby for some reason that I am not sure about. But where does it end? Ask for 2lbs of roast beef at the deli sounding like a toddler? Go to the pediatrician to talk about the baby in a baby voice? LOL. Sorry, it is a pet peave of mine and I wish she didn’t do it because she is generally likeable.

    @battman66 and Annie, Here is a great place to talk about recent events so as not to spoil the end for folks that haven’t seen the broadcast yet :-)

    http://forums.tvgasm.com/index.php

    Take care, Robin

  30. 30
    carol
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 10:40 pm

    I am not usually a fan of the none live shows (I like the snark on the TVgasm forums better) but the one diary session with Boogie, Frank and Ian was awesome. I am not sure if it was scripted by the producers or Boogie, but it was great.

  31. 31
    annie Annie
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 11:46 am

    @ robin……OOPS Im so sorry!!!!! Won’t happen again :)
    I gotta be more careful when I’m fired up heh heh

  32. 32
    Robin Robin
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 9:28 pm

    @Annie

    Not a biggie. Many of us get fired up. Especially after a live show. :-)

    TC, Robin

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