Hey hey BB fans! We’re getting down to the final weeks of Who Wants to Hand Dan a Bunch of Money. Last night Jenn went home and Danielle won HoH, which means Ian is probably going home tonight, which makes me sad
You totally rock! **rimshot**
The Chenbot is looking ravishing tonight in a color I can only describe as Fug-Red. She tells us that tonight Danielle will have to choose between her best friend and her boyfriend, which makes me wonder if maybe Chenbot hasn’t been watching the show at all this season. Danielle is choosing between her abusive father figure and her gay stalkee. Get it straight, Chen! You can be replaced!
My programming does include gay-dar.
The four remaining members of the Quack Pack are all stoked on making it to the Final Four. Much like Britney’s original season, everyone in her alliance is going to the finale except her.
Danielle tells us she’s, “Besides” herself because she won HoH. Shane says he and Danielle and Dan have a Final Three deal, and Dan puts on his douchiest ensemble yet to shout-remind us that he had a final three deal with every single person in the house, so he’s not worried. He tells Danielle to put himself and Ian on the block because he wants Shane to be comfortable so it’s easier for him to manipulate Danielle.
No amount of misting can make your hairline stop receding, dude.
I think Dan may be overthinking this all just a wee bit. I mean, I don’t think that’s gonna really hurt his game or anything, but Shane thinks that manipulation is something you do to your bangs with a flat iron and some spray wax.
And Shane is a MASTER manipulator
Nomination time! The only key goes to Shane, of course, because Danielle’s vagina speaks louder than her heart. Or the logic center of her brain that would determine whether or not the guy you’re crushing on is a Disco Dancing Oscar Wilde Reading Streisand Ticket Holding Friend of Dorothy!
Shane, you are safe. But if you have a pet rabbit then we can’t say the same for it.
Commercial interlude: As a huge fan of Sherlock Holmes, Lucy Liu, and Johnny Lee Miller I’m just not sure how I feel about this.
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle is largely responsible for my love of literature as a child, and when I went back a reread the complete works while in my early 20’s I found they were even better than I remembered. I want this show to be awesome, but I’m afraid…