Back to trashy bullshit reality TV, eh?
Chenbot welcomes us back and takes us to the Jury House. Yay!!!! It’s about fucking time! Smashed-ley spends her first week there alone blowing bubbles and humming to herself and making dream-boards that look like a 1st grade art project.
Watch out, Frank! There’s a bullet with butterfly wings about to dive-bomb giant Connect Four!
She’s hoping Frank will win and Dan will be evicted, which just goes to show you that The Secret is a load of horse shit. Fuck you, Oprah.
I’ve been visualizing rainbow butterflies all day… Visualizing and hallucinating are basically the same thing, right?
Britney arrives next and they hug and giggle and talk about tans. Thus far the blonde brigade both have it in for Dan and his misting skills. The next week the girls paint their nails while Britney predicts Frank will join them next. She’s right, as we all know.
I hope someone who understands sarcasm gets here soon. This is like trying to snark at a puppy with brain damage.
Smashed-ley is stoked she maybe will get to make out with her little ginger twat, and he is angry about the whole Dan swearing on the bible thing too. Britney says Dan’s just playing the game, Frank says Dan lied to his face, Brit says Frank did the same thing to her. They yell at each other a LITTLE, but it’s not really anything worth recapping. Bleh.
I’ve missed this face so much…
Next to enter the jury house is Chef Shouty, who says that Dan likes to wave a bible in one hand while stabbing you in the gut with the other. Brit and Frank go back to shouting at each other because Frank won’t admit that he just straight screwed Brit over and keeps trying to justify it rather than saying he was just playing the game and trying to win.
Fun fact: It’s illegal in seven states to work as a chef if you don’t have a ridiculous faux-hawk.
Back to the BB house, and it’s time for the Veto Comp! Dan and Ian both put on their douchiest headbands and head to the backyard. The Veto Comp looks like this:
When the buzzer sounds the players remove the covers to the clues (i.e. “Never played in a veto comp”) and then find the picture of the houseguest that it applies to and hang it next to the clue. But… The houseguest has to be the correct answer for any clues connected to that circle, and some clues have multiple correct answers, but there’s only one correct solution to the entire puzzle. So it’s like Sudoku for slow people.