I’m not into Sudoku because I think it’s demeaning to women. Oh wait, I’m thinking of Bukkake. Wait… What was the question?
Ian rings in first, but he has a bunch wrong. Dan follows suit the same way. Ian rings in again, and has less wrong this time, but still a few. He’s panicking and moving stuff all willy-nilly. Danielle rings in with only two wrong, Dan still has a bunch wrong, Ian tries again, and then Danielle fucking wins it. Worth noting: Shane never even rang in. Not once. Ha!
I feel like the producers kinda wanted Ian to win this one, and I’m sad that he couldn’t pull it out. I would have loved to see him take home some cash for his astronomical student loans and so he could maybe buy a nice car that would lead to a human girl touching his penis someday.
Inside the house, Ian is rocking his little butt off at the nomination table. He looks so sad.
The face of a man who just lost an intellectual competition to Danielle…
Dan being Dan has decided that just making final three isn’t enough. He wants to convince Danielle to use the veto on him so that he can cast the only vote for the week. Dan promises her that if she takes him off the block he will vote Ian out, but then tells us that he absolutely intends to send Shane home.
Why? Because I fucking can.
Danielle tells Shane that she’s thinking about taking Dan off the block so that he’ll trust her again. She’s totally convinced that Dan will send Ian home, and Shane says he’s okay with it and then makes out with her for a whole three seconds! Oh god, please let Danielle be this stupid!!! Please please please! Not only would that mean keeping Ian (and turning one more jury member against Dan) but it would make that idiot nurse have a complete and utter MELTDOWN. I wanna see a meltdown, dammit!!!!
The body language of a man who has no idea where to put his hands when a girl is making out with him.
Time for the veto meeting. Come on, Big Brother! I need some excitement. It’s late and I have to get up at 4:00 in the morning to take my roommate to the airport before getting to work by 6.
Ian’s speech is sweet and dorky and adorable. Dan’s is cheesy and full of MIST. Oh, and he pimps his books and blows a lot of hot air up Danielle’s ass. I would hate to be married to that guy. I mean, he’s a brilliant player, but I would be so uncomfortable watching the person I love manipulate an entire house full of people so effectively. I wonder if he does that shit at home too…