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Thursday, September 13, 2012
11:56 pm
34 Comments
Tagged: betrayal, Big Brother 14, Dan, danielle, excitement, final four, ian, Jury House, manipulation, misting, obvious back-door jokes, pov, quack pack, shane, vision boards
I’m not into Sudoku because I think it’s demeaning to women. Oh wait, I’m thinking of Bukkake. Wait… What was the question?
Ian rings in first, but he has a bunch wrong. Dan follows suit the same way. Ian rings in again, and has less wrong this time, but still a few. He’s panicking and moving stuff all willy-nilly. Danielle rings in with only two wrong, Dan still has a bunch wrong, Ian tries again, and then Danielle fucking wins it. Worth noting: Shane never even rang in. Not once. Ha!
I feel like the producers kinda wanted Ian to win this one, and I’m sad that he couldn’t pull it out. I would have loved to see him take home some cash for his astronomical student loans and so he could maybe buy a nice car that would lead to a human girl touching his penis someday.
Inside the house, Ian is rocking his little butt off at the nomination table. He looks so sad.
The face of a man who just lost an intellectual competition to Danielle…
Dan being Dan has decided that just making final three isn’t enough. He wants to convince Danielle to use the veto on him so that he can cast the only vote for the week. Dan promises her that if she takes him off the block he will vote Ian out, but then tells us that he absolutely intends to send Shane home.
Why? Because I fucking can.
Danielle tells Shane that she’s thinking about taking Dan off the block so that he’ll trust her again. She’s totally convinced that Dan will send Ian home, and Shane says he’s okay with it and then makes out with her for a whole three seconds! Oh god, please let Danielle be this stupid!!! Please please please! Not only would that mean keeping Ian (and turning one more jury member against Dan) but it would make that idiot nurse have a complete and utter MELTDOWN. I wanna see a meltdown, dammit!!!!
The body language of a man who has no idea where to put his hands when a girl is making out with him.
Time for the veto meeting. Come on, Big Brother! I need some excitement. It’s late and I have to get up at 4:00 in the morning to take my roommate to the airport before getting to work by 6.
Ian’s speech is sweet and dorky and adorable. Dan’s is cheesy and full of MIST. Oh, and he pimps his books and blows a lot of hot air up Danielle’s ass. I would hate to be married to that guy. I mean, he’s a brilliant player, but I would be so uncomfortable watching the person I love manipulate an entire house full of people so effectively. I wonder if he does that shit at home too…
34 Comments
Big Brother giveths
Dan is the greatest BB player ever – move over Dr. Will! I don’t care which of Ian or Dan wins – I just love the manipulation that Dan is doing. It is a game, after all! Love the recap and looking forward to Sunday…
Yeah, Danielle was “besides” herself! Besides the point more like, in pupeteer Dan’s hands.
I couldn’t believe that she was so idiotic to swallow Dan’s bull and not only put Shane up but also convince him that this was somehow a wise move. They do make a good pair in that they’re both monumentally gullible.
Nice to hear that Ashley was doing some meditating. To meditate you have to empty your mind but at least now she realises she’s been meditating for the last 20 years.
Does anyone else think that Dan with the headband and warpaint looks like Bart Simpson?
Thanks TheMiki for a great recap!
oh well shane………………….he has plenty of chances to score with Danielle and this last makeout moment which was awkward……….he must have been thinking to him self……….GIRL GERMS!!!
Well, presumably Mrs. Gheesling isn’t a complete fucking moron and therefore is somewhat immune to Dan’s mist, so I’m not too worried for her. And presumably she’d already seen him in action on BB (why else would a hot gal like that fall for a guy like him?), so she’d been forewarned, so she gets what she gets.
The thing I like most about Dan is his DR sessions — including the shouting — because it’s always really clear he’s having a great time doing what he’s doing.
I think he can win this — Britney will definitely vote for him and she’ll no doubt be able to sway most of these boobs to her way of thinking.
Frank’s a complete idiot and exactly what I despise about so-called “god-fearing” types.
Speaking of which, I’m willing to believe that Shane isn’t aware that he’s gay, that he’s still under the evil spell of that gigantic cross he wears.
Wow! I mean Dani just trusted Dan to much for someone she just met. I’m thinking she is just not thinking clearly because obviously she is falling for a gay man. I know she said she never met a lesbian so maybe she is alittle slow on catching on. I’m not sure if Shane knows he’s gay or he is that guy who says if he watches str8 porn while doing a guy….he is still straight LOL
I think Frank is just pissed he got beat by Dan and if he would have taken him out like he thought, he would still maybe be in the house. Im just so confused why most of these players listened to their coaches even after the reset. Frank was thinking clearly but had Mike in his ear.
How nice. You can see both of Danielle’s chins in the pictures on page 4. She is such a heinous, nasty beast.
Did anyone else notice that Ashley forgot to use a verb in her BB Dream Board? “Congrats. You the Head of Household.” Sigh.
@themiki-I miss your recaps! I have been reading but not commenting but damn girl! You still have it.
I got sick of BB a while ago and I was a huge BB-aholic. I guess when you get married to an idiot who can’t afford to get cable but can afford beer, you get what is coming for you. Anyway, your recaps have gotten me somewhat interested in the show again. When I found out Brit-Brit was on the show again and then got kicked off before I got interested again, I was PISSED. Of course, Boogie was on so I guess it evens out. Brit deserves to win every time. Bitches. Then, JANELLE. Ugh, maybe it is better I didn’t watch this season.
Anyway, I kind of hope Ian or Danielle wins just to shove it in Dan’s face. Dirty players don’t bother me (and I am a HUGE Jun Song fan from season 4) but arrogance does and I don’t like it.
Great recap Miki!
@Echo….Thank you SOOOO much for pointing out Ashley’s lack of verbs on her dream board. I needed that chuckle. Congrats Ash, you the dumbest player almost ever. LOL..It’s funny cuz it’s sad!
Fucking. DAN!
I knew Dan was good, he’s always been my favorite next to Dr. Will, but DAMN. Hope very, very much it’s a Dan/Ian finale. It’s a testimony to Ian that I hope he wins, but I would be happy for either one at this point. Danielle – girl get a clue!
I think we can see that the jury members are going to be bitter coming out of the house. And, if Frank, Jenn, Shane (who was crying, at least I think I saw tears on my HD TV), and either Ian/Danielle would never vote for him to win, and Ashley will vote for whomever Frank tells her she should, especially if Frank shuts Britney’s reasoning down every time she opens her mouth. I can’t wait for the bitter jury questions.
But, my true hope for the end game is that Ian realizes that cutting Dan’s throat will ensure a victory over Danielle. And, I hope Danielle cuts Dan’s throat after all the lies, funerals, and bullshit and say she learned from the best and she was “looking out for herself.” I can’t believe that neither Danielle nor Ian sees that by eliminating Dan, they ultimately ensure their victory.
Is Sunday night’s episode really going to be a clip show?
I can’t remember – the first time Dan won, did he piss everyone off in the house as they went to the jury house, or did he find a way to manipulate the game without getting all of this blood on his hands? Everyone in that jury is going to hate his ass, and I think most of the idiots in the jury house are too self-centered and full of themselves to vote for Dan after he humiliated them. It would be too logical for these dumb asses to vote on game play and smarts in this game.
Awwww. Poor Ian. I’ll bet that out there somewhere is a poor little nerdette who would be just thrilled to touch his penis.
Of course, then they would have to figure out what it is for.
I was really annoyed they were bringing back returning players this season, and annoyed again by the reset, not the least of which because I had Ian in my BB pool and after the reset our pool reset and I got stuck with Frank. However this is without question the most fun season since #6.
Watching Dan play Big Brother is like watching Michael Jordan play basketball. Of course it would be better to see Michael Jordan playing against the Lakers rather than the equivalent of a j.v. middle school team.
Thank you, thank you for those Danielle screencaps. That moment was priceless. When she calms down Dani may actually be relieved because Dan got Shane out of her way with her being able to claim no involvement other than, once again, taking Dan’s words at face value and never once thinking Dan might actually be trying to win the game(!?)
Dan may have trouble winning this time no matter who’s next to him in the finals. Ian can at least point to some good game moves he made on his own and he has a lot of goodwill with everyone. Danielle obviously can’t make the same argument since Dan told her what to do (and even what to say) all summer, but if enough jury members follow Frank’s lead and get all self rightous (“Oh my God someone LIED to me in Big Brother!!!!”) then even Danielle could possibly beat Dan on spite votes alone.
Dan is not the greatest BB player ever. He is simply the skinniest girl at the fat farm. AG stocked the house with the biggest bunch of gullible, moronic sheep who would buy a timeshare in Haiti if you asked them too.
What Dan is – is a whore. He whores off the BB franchaise, whores his business ventures, whores his personal relationships for the almighty dollar. After all a whore fucks people for money all that is all he does.
Also I can’t believe no one commented on Ashley telling Brittany she gained 20 pounds. LOL. She better drop that weight quick. Dumb as a box of hammers ain’t as cute when you’re fat sweetie.
One more thing…was a little confused by Brit’s 180 in the jury house. She seemed to enter and immediately diss Dan but then when arguing with Frank she seemed to be his biggest supporter?
I agree that it will come down to a Frank vs. Brit showdown in the jury house (unless Ian is in the finals) and whomever can sway the jury to their person will win.
considerthis, Dan is a capitalist. Don’t think it’s fair to call him a whore. He’s openly admitted he’s taking advantage of his reputation for playing it pretty straight the first time he played by doing the opposite this time. In the seasons where there were secret alliances made early that just marched through the house we all complain about how boring it was (Exhibit A: the Duhgade), so I for one am grateful for Dan keeping this shit fun and interesting.
Dan may be religious in his real life but he’s smart enough to know the moral rules of real life don’t, and shouldn’t, apply in the BB house.
Well, this is the second time he’s appeared on a reality television show, and a show he’s already won, so yeah, I guess that makes him a whore, a fame whore if nothing else. But all capitalism is prostitution when you get right down to it.
Just keep in mind that all of Dan’s actions here take place entirely within the artificial bubble of the Big Brother universe — they have no connection to real life, and no true real life consequences.
On the other hand, he’s a classic case of the limits of “religious” morality — there’s seems to be no limit to the justifications for tossing it away.
@JasonR, I agree with you that it’s all fair for Dan to play with little regard for anyone else in the house, and any strategy to get to the end is valid, it’s also valid for the jury to be stung and bitter by the HOW of Dan’s strategy. I think if they vote spitefully, it will be a reaction to Dan’s complete disregard and selfishness this summer. It will be too difficult for people to look past the brilliant moves because feelings are hurt and pride is injured. And, while being spiteful and bitter aren’t necessarily welcome traits in real life, the jury is allowed to feel that way and respond that way in dealing with Dan if he’s sitting there answering questions at F2. Which is why Dan should take the Jun Song approach and always drag someone to the end more loathsome than you, right @parisi_laroe?
I love Dan. I hated this season in the beginning, but now – just LOVE me some Dan.
Whore is to Capitalist as Meth Lab Owner/Producer is to Chemist. I just calls ‘em as I sees ‘em. Within the BB game Dan is a whore or capitalist. Potato – Potato.
Dan, Dan, Dan. Who cares? He’s unattractive and he looks like he smells. BITTER PEEPS don’t vote for stinky, ugly guys so Ian or Dani is going to win.
Now, getting back to SHANE. I think Shane is trying to ‘Pass” like Ava Gardner tried to “Pass” in SHOWBOAT.
Uh, SHOWBOAT is that big musical with the song “Can’t Help Lovin’ Dat Man.”
In Ava’s case she was trying to pass for white. In Shane’s case — he’s trying to pass for straight. Shane thinks he’s fooling everybody but I don’t think he’s fooling anybody but Dani.
Can we get more SHANE coverage in these recaps? Thank you.
I don’t know why we’re talking about whores like it’s a bad thing . . .
Dan drank too much douche punch for me . . . I’m not a fan.
Note to Ian and Dani . . . kill the bitch, the final, lying, selfish, backstabbing coach has got to go.
Dani was so stupid to take Dan off, sooooo stupid!!!! UGH!
Sadly, my DVR didn’t get this one, so I can’t comment on the Jury house.
We’re almost there . . . . dun dun dun!
oh, and I’m with itchy, I don’t think Shane is self aware enough to realize he’s gay. That he thinks his mother will care if he kisses Dani . . . sigh . . . should he really care about what mommy thinks, it all screams sheltered to me.
I don’t really care either way. Even if he was straight, I don’t think he’d be that into her.
Great recap! I said the same thing as your caption when Dani tried to mount Shane on the bed: his hands and where he is NOT putting them is telling quite a story. Don’t know if he’s gay – but some of his clothing is awfully questionable for a VT construction worker!
I’m a Dan fan. I think he’s able to pull all this off partly because they are all stupid (Dani especially is too trusting) and partly because he was basically honest in his last time in BB. Flipping his M.O has helped him.
Most years, the jurors eventually calm down and are able to vote on game play and not personal feelings. I think that explains Brit’s about face from when she arrived to her confrontation with Frank.
I like Ian too – but he seems to be losing some of his edge. Like someone said: losing an intellectual comp to Danielle has gotta hurt!
I’d be OK with either Dan or Ian to win.
Dan is not a dirty player. He is a smart and effective player.
Ian or Dan for the win…as I’ve been saying since week 1.
Process of elimination.
Ian gave up. He is no longer playing his own game ; I am not entirely sure if he had one to begin with other than to pretend he is really smart, but he is hooking his star to Dan now. And, well, he gave up.
Danielle is an idiot. Nothing more to add.
Go Ian! Final two is his dream; even if he doesn’t win, he’d remember his ‘final two’ victory for the rest of his life! I predict tears either way.
Team Ian. Dan will have planned to send Ian home in tears, but Ian, out-master-planning Dan, will turn the tables and send a stunned, tearful Dan home.
Bwwwaaaaaahaaaahaaaaa
Ian turning the tables on Dan would not be ‘out master planning’ Dan…it’s already too late for that. I would refer to it more as ‘getting a clue’.
If he gets that clue, he’ll win this thing. Go Ian (coming from a big Dan fan)!
I don’t know who would win in a Dan/Ian final-two, but I’m pretty sure that the smartest thing either Dan or Ian should try to do is go to the final with Danielle. I mean, there is no way Danielle could end up winning this thing, is there? If she wins, I’m done with reality TV. Done.