More eyecandy for ya
Inside, Ian is showing off his borderline Asperger’s by walking in and out of the room while Janelle talks to her team. Janelle thinks he’s a creeper, cause Janelle didn’t hang out with a lot of socially awkward kids in high school. One L and Snooze Nurse both think he’s super weird, and Britney says she’s scared she’ll wake up to him hovering over her watching her sleep. Oh, and he goes streaking with Creepy Old Chef’s cowboy hat over his junk.
While the attractive people remain fully clothed
Meanwhile, outside, Boogie talks strategy with GingerTits, who tells him he’s been talking with Hantz and he’s not worried about getting picked for elimination. Dun dun dun.
Chenbot beckons the players to the living room to tell them about an all new competition. Every week there will be a coach’s competition, and the winner gets to give one of their players immunity. Janelle is stoked to be competing, but Britney is completely non-delusional about her prowess and explains she has the strength of a six month old and will be lucky to go out there and not completely embarrass herself. The coach’s competition also determines the Have Nots for the week, who will get the usual cold showers and slop, and what Chenbot promises will be the most twisted Have Not room in BB history.
What a tweest! P.S. Your Botox might be wearing off a little.
Time for the Coach’s Competition. The backyard is set up to look like a race track, and the contestants are in their Sunday Best. Including GirlDick, who looks fucking freakish in a dress. The Coaches come out wearing horse/jockey outfits, so this is sure to be a dignified competition. Spraytan tells us she pounded on the make-up, cause Spraytan is sophisticated as shit.
The competition will go in heats, two coaches at a time. The first heat is Boogie and Britney. They have to chase each other around a greased up track, hurdling foam logs until one coach can catch the other and rip their tail off. It’s boring as all hell, but at least people are eating shit.
Britney doesn’t do terribly, but she gets stuck on a hill and Boogie wins the heat.
Dan decides he doesn’t want to give one player immunity and put a huge target on the other, so he throws the competition. He throws it REALLY obviously too. Poor Britney. She could have come in not dead last if she’d had her first match against Preacher Dan.
So I just stand here and shuffle like a ‘tard, right?
Final heat is Janelle vs Boogie, and Janelle is a fucking beast, but Boogie takes an early lead and wins the round. So Boogie gets to give safety to one player, and I hope it’s Ian cause otherwise his adorable little ass is going the fuck home. Boogie chooses…. Ian! Ha! Yay!!!! I love Ian even more because he’s freaking out the rest of the house.
Seen here being totally normal and not awkward.
Now for the Have Nots… Rather than the losing coach’s team being the Have Nots, each coach chooses one Have Not from their team. The Have Nots are Shane, Danielle, Spraytan, and Ian. The slop is waiting on them when they get in, and Ian says it’s really not so bad. Let’s check out the Have Not room.
Okay, I get the shitty pun that this room is twisted, but this is a cake-walk compared to some of the rooms I’ve seen BB devise. The beds are nubby and hard, which would suck, but the rest ain’t so bad.