Big Brother: Questioning Your Balls

Recaps

By Flipit | Sunday, August 19, 2012 | 7:48 pm | 9 Comments
Tagged: , , ,
Posted in: Big Brother, Recaps

Ian corners Britney in the pantry to tattle tale. Earlier, before the eviction, Boogie was trying to ensure that Ian would put up Britney or Shane if he won HOH. This sets Brit off, of course. She marches right upstairs to HOH and tells everyone about it. Shane agrees to put up Boogie and Frank, and they gather around to do their Quack Pack thing. It’s ridiculous. And kinda amazing.

Quack-Pack

Montage of Chef Yellalot’s bs stories. The first one is about throwing rocks on a bridge, losing his watch, and then finding it with Greek letters engraved on it. My guess is they spelled out “SHHHHHHHHHHHH.” The next story is about inventing “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter”, followed by a riveting tale about turning down the Vice Presidential nomination to be in the house.

Brit is annoyed by his one upmanship, and says that if your dog has blue eyes he will claim that his dog has GOOOLD! GOOOOOLDEN EEEEYES!

Golden-Eyes

Ian is still fuming about Mobile Spray Tan Ashley’s date with Richard Simmons Carrot Top Flo from Alice Frank. He gets a yes for another date with her, and Britney agrees to help him prepare for it. She does this by Veet-ing his long ass armpit hair, which is nasty. She says his hairs are taller than trees and look like a family of ferrets. HAHA!! In no time, he’s got bare pits. Next step: training bra.

The date is really romantic.

Screen Shot 2012-08-19 At 7.16.29 Pm
You smell like Veet.

Screen Shot 2012-08-19 At 7.17.10 Pm
If only she knew words.

Screen Shot 2012-08-19 At 7.18.05 Pm
This date sucks.

Chef Yellalot goes to talk to Shane and kiss his butt and tell him he’d jump in front of a bus or set himself on fire if Shane wanted him to. Man I wish Shane had matches. Chef is kinda pathetic. In other words, nothin new here. Shane still plans to put up Boogz and Frank, even though that means that next week “One of em is gonna be gunnin after me.” 

Spy music plays. There is a pathway of balls leading to a toy machine filled with balls and a plastic box with a question mark inside. OOOOooooh! Could this mean Pandora’s box? Shane has known for days now that Boogie and Frank will be on the block, which has given Grodner plenty of time to install her next obvious rigging device to save her faves.

Brit knows that Shane will be wavering now, because last time he was HOH and put up Frank this same exact thing happened. She’s right. He’s worried. “Do you think it’s gonna be a riddle?”, he asks, terrified. She half rolls her eyes and assures him that intelligence isn’t necessary to win this game. Just stick to the noms!

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Flipit
About

Currently, Flipit's writing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps, which you can find here. You can also find him doing a gossip segment twice a week called BS of the Day and video recaps of Project Runway All Stars, as well as spoof ReDubs of the coming soon trailers at the end of RHOBH!

Ronnie Karam has been with TVgasm since 2006 , which has given him the opportunity to make fun of hundreds of TV's most loved and hated reality whores. His plan in life was to be Julia Roberts but that plan was stolen by, well, Julia Roberts. He'll get you one day, JULIA ROBERTS!! When not making himself giggle for the gasm, Ronnie performs improv and sketch comedy at IO West in Hollywood a couple of times weekly while using the lovely California days to audition for commercial roles such as "ADORABLE MEXICAN UNCLE". Seriously. He would like to thank Jesus, Buddha and Xenu for the blessings they've bestowed. The writers here are the best around, and he's honored to be associated with them. Find video archives at CankleTV.com, or follow on Twitter @flipit

9 Comments

  1. 1
    awfuleyebrow
    Posted August 19, 2012 at 8:24 pm

    It’s really great that the BB producers found a practical use for BLK Water. The Laurito/Manson boys finally found their niche market.

  2. 2
    awfuleyebrow
    Posted August 19, 2012 at 8:25 pm

    Oops Manzo! Dang spell check.

  3. 3
    carol
    Posted August 20, 2012 at 12:09 am

    As annoying as Boogie is, he was smart to go for the money. Second place gets $50,000, with their weekly salary of $750 deducted from that. So, Boogie has made as much money as possible without being in the final two. Sort of like that girl who took the money in Glass House, except she was thinking about the numbers, Boogie was just going for easy money.

    I hate this slippery type challenge. It is always so painful to watch. I never understand how they can legally get away with it. It would be so much better if they had a treadmill type thing going in one direction. So you had to actually work/run to get one direction then coast the other way. It would be just as challenging seeing how out of shape some of these players are. There would also be far less injuries. It amazes me every time this challenge appears that there aren’t more players with broken wrists, bruised tail bones, etc.

    When Frank blinks, it is so hard you can almost hear it. Sort of like a cartoon character when they see something not normal.

  4. 4
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted August 20, 2012 at 12:30 am

    Kanye to Boogie: “That is some Benjamin Buttons shit!”

  5. 5
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted August 20, 2012 at 7:39 am

    @Flipit, as I tweeted you last night, my favorite Joe story was where he said he broke his ass-bone twice. Those stories they cobbled together made me laugh and I enjoyed Joe more last night than I have in previous episodes.

    Does anyone know if the hamsters are contractually obligated to see the HOH’s room? If I don’t like the person, I’d decline to see the HOH room, but I guess that would get me the big asshole edit from Grodner.

    Oh, how I wish Danielle knew that Grace was the name of the biggest fag hag/fruit fly in the history of scripted television. Her lack of awareness about anything related to Shane’s disinterest is amusingly painful to watch. Shane gets stereotypically gayer as the season goes on; but at least it’s not as mind-numbingly awful as watching Jeff dance around the fact that he has no interest in Jordan, unless it’s to make money on CBS reality programs.

  6. 6
    Smango
    Posted August 20, 2012 at 1:40 pm

    Omg your labels of Boogie with pictures are AMAZING. I still chuckle every time I think of the ‘check to see if Grandpa is breathing’ pic.

  7. 7
    Karen Belvin
    Posted August 21, 2012 at 8:47 pm

    Did anyone else hear Ian tell Brit that the “Wizard” told him “How can you vote out someone you have admired since you were 10 years old.!” DR is interfering again!!!!!! Gonna cause me to give up BB altogether.. and I have watched since season one!!!!!

  8. 8
    Lola
    Posted August 23, 2012 at 6:21 pm

    “Wouldn’t be gayer with a dick in his mouth.”. Bahahahaha! I’m totally gonna steal that line!

  9. 9
    Lola
    Posted August 23, 2012 at 6:23 pm

    Do you think if someone tied idiot Frank’s arms to his sides, he wouldn’t be able to talk? He can’t say anything without his palms up.

    And what did he used to do for a living before becoming a bum with a Noonan haircut?

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