Britney comes in and tells Boogie what happened with her conversation with Ian (as you’ll recall, she asked him if he’d keep Shane safe; he replied, “I don’t see any foreseeable circumstances right now,” which wasn’t a solid enough, “Yes,” for her). Which… resulted in Frank getting nominated? Why is no one asking, “Then why didn’t you nominate Ian?” God, these people are awful.
Our 9thsexiest US male Olympian is: Danell Leyva! (He’s also a notorious sexter. Google image search him!)
Basically the most-SFW result on his Google Image results.
Upstairs, Team Janelle is basically sucking Shane’s and Britney’s dicks. Britney points out how rarely the Veto is ever used and therefore how brave this was, fluffing Shane’s feathers. Ashley gives one of her typically idiotic platitudes, something to do with “awkward feelings” and “going through bad things” and “exercise,” and there is either true awkward silence or editor-manufactured awkward silence.
“Thumbs up for thinkin’!”
Meanwhile, Ian is freaking out. He tells Boogie and Frank about his conversation with Britney, which makes this the second time in five minutes we’ve had to re-hear this conversation. Fascinating stuff, this. “I just didn’t want to write a check that I may not be able to cash,” he whines. “This is the Big Brother house. You can bounce checks,” replies Boogie, confirming his status as a 90’s movie come to life. Anyway, all the guys realize that Danielle (which really means Dan) controls the vote this week.
Whimsical tuba music! We’re in for a HILARIOUS segment, I’m sure! Britney and Janelle talk briefly in bed about Janelle’s lack of emotions. Janelle actually seems HIGHLY emotional (anyone who mockingly taunts, “Bye bye, bitches!” when she’s counting on those people to vote for her to win a game definitely does NOT have a dearth of emotions), but whatever. Anyway, point is, Janelle never cries. This is what we call foreshadowing, even though at the time this seemed like an extremely lame and unimportant time-filler.
“I just had an orgasm thinking about everyone in this house dying.”
Our 8thsexiest US male Olympian: Chris Brooks!
Although his face looks a little too much like Dane Cook’s for my comfort.
Later, Janelle, Joe, and Wil are talking outside. Janelle basically recaps the past few weeks for the guys, and shows how she’s orchestrated everything. Wil gets all huffy at the insinuation that he’s brainless. Just look at him! He’s a veritable Rhodes Scholar! Wil storms off in a huff. “He’s just a bitchy, bitchy guy,” Janelle sighs to Joe. The mark of a true coach is calling one teammate a “bitch” to another teammate. Well done, Janelle.
The next morning, Joe and Wil discuss the Janelle Problem (namely: she clearly has had a Google News Alert for herself since 2006). Joe explains in the Diary Room that he’s worried Wil is going to go to war against Janelle, since they’re both on her team, but only Joe is on the block this week. Let me say that I totally hate Joe’s attempts at humor, as well as his miserably disgusting soulpatch that I shall never, ever, ever again mention because I can’t even THINK about it, and let’s not even get into his screaming in the Diary Room. BUT! The guy seems pretty okay at the game (sadly for us, because he’ll stick around)!
“What? There’s a disgusting bug on my chin?! Is it gone?!”