Our 6thsexiest US male Olympian: David Oliver!
I love a sexy man in a lady’s necklace.
Back in the present, Julie talks to the houseguests in the living room for an especially boring segment. She asks Ian what he’s going to do with the $3,000 Boogie gave him. Since he’s a student, he’s going to use it for rent. I’ve had more enlightening conversations with my dog. She asks Boogie if he regrets taking the larger amount of money for himself. He does not. I start composing an email to Flipit, telling him I quit. Julie asks Danielle to rank her kiss with Shane. She gives it a 10. She’s clearly only ever kissed the guys in her high school drama classes. Same question to Shane. He ranks it a 10.5, a classic overcompensating method I am FAR too familiar with. “Yes, I loved making out with that human woman with her vagina lurking somewhere below her clothes, Julie!”
“Haha, WOMEN! Can’t live with ‘em, unfortunately have to pretend to date ‘em!”
We’re still not done with this insanely worthless segment, if you can believe it. We have to watch a clip of Janelle participating in the Coaches’ Competition on Sunday. Julie asks Janelle if it was easy. Janelle says, What? Julie repeats her question. Janelle says she has some bruises. Julie says she’s sorry to hear that. Before we go to commercials, we learn that @sarabear219 “love[s] Big Brother!!!!” The Statue of Liberty is reported to be leaking a mysterious liquid from its eyes. Every bald eagle drops from the sky. The Liberty Bell cracks completely in half. Mitt Romney’s poll numbers creep upward. Darkness reigns.
We now must have the Head of Household interview, always the LEAST fascinating part of any Big Brother week. “I made some tough decisions, I trust my alliance, no showmances yet!” is what everyone always says, and Shane is no exception. The only important thing I noticed was that he appears to be in FULL athletic attire, which, again, is odd, seeing as he shouldn’t be allowed to compete in the Head of Household competition tonight. Perhaps he knows something the rest of us don’t???? CONTROVERSY. Also, Ian is wearing a full-body yellow spandex costume, but that’s probably just because Ian is odd.
Now we have to meet Frank’s famous father, who is Sid Vicious the wrestler, if you didn’t already know. HOLY HELL HE IS SCARY-LOOKING. Put him in the house! Maybe he’d liven up these jackasses. Turns out Sid (Mr. Vicious?) and Frank only talk roughly once a month. Apparently Dad was gone a lot, which we already know because we all saw The Wrestler. Sid says Frank probably thinks he’s not even watching. Wow! What a great dad! Sid talks about wanting to chop Willie Hantz in half, and then we see Frank talking to his family by himself in the house. How long has this segment been going on? I think I just celebrated my 75thbirthday. I am writing the rest of this recap from my retirement home.
My boyfriend has informed me Sid Vicious broke his ankle on live television and you could see it snap. I would have rather seen that than this whole episode.