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The Vicious family is giant! I worry for the state of their couch! Dad is proud of Frank after all! Maybe their relationship is mended! The segment finally ends! Now we go to commercials, because this is apparently a three-hour episode!
Our 5thsexiest US male Olympian: Jake Dalton! Even though his face makes me nervous that he’s still in high school.
We’re back, and Julie eagerly clutches an envelope that contains the results of “America’s” “Vote”. She teases the houseguests for a second, before revealing that, yes, America did, in fact, vote to give the coaches a chance to enter the game. I die of a heart attack. I cannot believe this. This is the most shocking thing since we found out what was in the hatch on Lost (spoiler alert: it was holding five terrible seasons!).
Julie lays out the new rules: the coaches go one by one into the Diary Room, where there will be a button to “reset” the game. If just one coach hits the button, then all the coaches enter the game, there is NO eviction tonight, and everyone plays in the HoH competition. If no one hits it, then someone is eliminated, but past evictees will re-enter the game later. This is too complicated for people like @sarabear219 and @cherrygarcya to follow, I fear.
Our 4thsexiest US male Olympian: Ryan Lochte! America’s sweetheart! Voted “most kissable lips” by his high school class of ME.
Britney goes into the Diary Room first. The “reset” button is comically shitty. Big Brother, you are so charmingly fucking terrible. Britney hits the button, because, duh. The game is reset! Buuuuut for some reason we have to watch all four coaches make their decision? Oh god, this is truly the most painful episode in TV history. Boogie is next and he says no to the button, because A) he thinks it’ll make him look cool and he knows that one of the other three will hit it anyway, or B) he’s scared that he’s an idiot without Dr. Will carrying him to the end. Dan hits the button while saying, “It’s time to get…. It’s time to get dirty punching it!” GOOD sentence there, Dan. Very intimidating. And then Janelle comes in and obnoxiously stands up to press the button, to better show off her T&A.
Julie tells the houseguests that the game has been “reset” (which: no, no it hasn’t; not for people who were eliminated while the coaches got a free ride, especially old WHAT’S-HER-NAME who was eliminated in the first 10 minutes) (but when has this game ever been fair?) and now both Frank and Joe are safe! Sooooo… all that strategy we saw for the first 30 minutes of this episode? Totally worthless. This episode is just an insult to human intelligence. And this twist is so terrible, and if I were in the game I would start a revolution against the producers and get all the newbies to threaten to walk unless they reversed the decision. Oh wait, @dewforever “love[s] the twist in this game!!! <3” so I guess my opinion is now changed.