Big Brother Recap: Baby Zing

Recaps

By Flipit | Wednesday, August 15, 2012 | 8:20 pm | 16 Comments
Tagged: , , , ,
Posted in: Big Brother, Recaps

We open tonight’s Big Brother with Joehawk yelling in the diary room. Unless it’s an apology for wearing a fauxhawk, yelling at me, or grossing me out with your tampon string facial hair, I’m not interested. Shhhh. Just shhhhh.

Screen Shot 2012-08-15 At 6.18.14 Pm

He says that he’s not gonna be beat so easily! “Pack a lunch America, cuz we’re goin ta WORK!” Your work or mine? Cuz I’m sure whichever Denny’s was too lazy to check Megan’s list before hiring your skeezy ass has food we can eat.

Dan isn’t on the block, which has Hick Nurse Desperate Danielle excited that they can trust their new alliance. He knows that Frank would be totally stupid to not want him gone, so he’s worried. What does Dan do when he’s worried? He yells and mouth breathes in the diary room while I stare at his face and wonder what percentage of it is afflicted by the obvious Downs in the family tree.

Screen Shot 2012-08-15 At 6.23.22 Pm

Dan is paranoid. Boogie and Frank are talking about how they want to get rid of One L Wil because he had the nerve to give them attitude while they are in power. The horror!! Wil is kind of a bitch, but who cares? He can’t win comps to save his life and the only threat he poses is that your eardrums might burst when his nasal whine of a voice pierces through the house. Let him be. He’s obviously got a true c word inside of him and I’d like to see it flourish.

Wil, of course, can’t concentrate on the disaster coming his way because he’s focused on the disaster atop his head.

Screen Shot 2012-08-15 At 6.29.01 Pm

How many pounds of weave are you allowed to bring into the house? You know he’s smuggling shit in with that thing. No one carries that much weight on their head just cuz. I’m guessing he’s holding Xenadrine and poppers. Discuss. And while we’re in discuss mode, we’ve called Frank a lot of things: Carrot Top, Richard Simmons, etc., but looking at him now I can’t help but think he looks like Flo from Alice without makeup.

Screen Shot 2012-08-15 At 6.28.32 PmScreen Shot 2012-08-15 At 6.32.24 Pm

Frank meets Chef Yell in the pantry to dangle the possibility of safety in front of him. Chef just nods and sweats and promises not to mess anything up. Frank tells us that Chef is like a drunk girl at prom: she’s gonna make a mess, just make sure it’s not on your shoes. And if you make a mess, do it into a condom and not straight into her or she’ll get pregnant and the baby will be a hybrid of two seriously fug faces.

Screen Shot 2012-08-15 At 6.43.48 Pm

If they would just post this pic at the prom entrance, no one would bone.

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5
Flipit
About

Currently, Flipit's writing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps, which you can find here. You can also find him doing a gossip segment twice a week called BS of the Day and video recaps of Project Runway All Stars, as well as spoof ReDubs of the coming soon trailers at the end of RHOBH!

Ronnie Karam has been with TVgasm since 2006 , which has given him the opportunity to make fun of hundreds of TV's most loved and hated reality whores. His plan in life was to be Julia Roberts but that plan was stolen by, well, Julia Roberts. He'll get you one day, JULIA ROBERTS!! When not making himself giggle for the gasm, Ronnie performs improv and sketch comedy at IO West in Hollywood a couple of times weekly while using the lovely California days to audition for commercial roles such as "ADORABLE MEXICAN UNCLE". Seriously. He would like to thank Jesus, Buddha and Xenu for the blessings they've bestowed. The writers here are the best around, and he's honored to be associated with them. Find video archives at CankleTV.com, or follow on Twitter @flipit

16 Comments

  1. 1
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted August 15, 2012 at 9:27 pm

    Diary Room Dan has a serious case of derp face.

  2. 2
    Chicken Lips
    Posted August 15, 2012 at 10:12 pm

    I wonder how one applies to be Zingbot? I’m good at bad dancing, I can be mean to people (all in the name of humor, of course) and I can say “ziiiiiiiiiiiiiing!” like nobody’s business. I love Zingbot.

    Best part of the show to be honest – can we get Zingbot to be in the season for the rest of the season?

  3. 3
    Chicken Lips
    Posted August 15, 2012 at 10:24 pm

    Ugh – you know that I meant having Zingbot in the HOUSE for the rest of the season, so don’t even start. :)

  4. 4
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted August 15, 2012 at 11:02 pm

    When I saw Baby Zing the first thing I thought was “Another little person gets a SAG card.”

  5. 5
    Pikey578
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 2:06 am

    Great recap, Flipit! Just wanted to point out that the Quack Pack and the Silent Six are two different groups. The QP is Dan, Danielle, Britney, Shane and Ian. The SS is the QP – Ian + Frank and Boogie. (Please shoot me now for knowing this…)

    I am still rooting for Dan or Ian for the win. Chef is too loud and has weird facial growth, Danielle is bat shit crazy, Shane is boring, Wil is delusional, Jen is hardly there, Ashley is just there, Britney has lost her edge, Frank is not as smart as he thinks he is and Boogie is a tired old man.

    Thursday night should be fun!

  6. 6
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 7:54 am

    I wished Frank would’ve told Boogie that he isn’t a coach anymore, he’s a player, and Dan is a threat to both of them. Backdooring Dan was the smartest move and it didn’t happen, therefore, Frank is not long for this game. Getting rid of Joe/Wil is ridiculous when the QP and SS will need the other player’s votes to get rid of whomever is the target for that week. There was always an uneasy bond between Boogie and Dan; plus, Boogie could’ve always abandoned Frank to stay in the game and say that Frank made the decision to backdoor him unilaterally, which was true. So, tonight will be a wasted eviction and to top off the shit-cake, we’ll have Jeff Schroeder back in the house. Guess I’ll be watching Project Runway instead.

  7. 7
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 8:11 am

    That Wil with one L is one sour bitch. I bet he’s single. I still like Joe in spite of everything (mainly his pointy nipples. They’re pointy in a BAD way.)

    I wish there was more screaming and yelling; more threats and more drama. Screw Jeff. Bring back Willie.

    Instead of promoting some stupid cornhole app why doesn’t CBS make toy zingbots and sell them?

  8. 8
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 8:19 am

    I think the real reason Boogie doesn’t want to backdoor Dan is that he knows that a previous winner is not likely to win against anyone other than another previous winner. Dan and Boogie need to do everything they can to make sure that they are sitting next to each other in the final two.

  9. 9
    Mer
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 8:29 am

    Firstly, I PRAY somebody just gets rid of the douchey douche looking like a goat trying to pull off a soul patch–Chef Joe! At least Wil can be entertaining at times….

    Secondly, Jenn totally looks like the human version of Uniqua the pink character from the Backyardagins! I’m sorry but I cannot get that out my head every time I see (whenever we see her).

    There hasn’t been a good cast since the Dr Wil-Boogie Season and The Brigade-Brit season.
    You could not PAY me to watch LIVE FEEDS for these snoozers!!!!!!

    Adore the recaps and LOVE the site!!!!!! :)

  10. 10
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 9:15 am

    What was the point of Baby Zingbot? Did it make little jokes?

    I hate when the House Guests use the pool as their bathtub.

    And I would think Shane would be happy to be backdoored…

  11. 11
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 9:32 am

    “And I would think Shane would be happy to be backdoored…”

    I got this from one the the feed sites, but it is not a spoiler. A group was talking about sex the other night, and Shane said that he was not able to come from a blow job from a girl.

  12. 12
    featherhead
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 9:52 am

    Did the Zingbot Zing Wil? My friends say no and I cannot remember if he/it did. If so, what did he say?? Thanks for the help!

  13. 13
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 10:39 am

    @crankyguy, I guess concentrating too hard takes the thrill of the BJ away.

  14. 14
    chooch850 chooch850
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 5:13 pm

    The Zingbot did zing Wil : “What do you call Fabio minus the good looks, muscles & sex appeal? Wil ! Zing!”

    During that VETO competition Zingbot passed out from heat exhaustion. Crumpled right beside Ian. They had to stop everything. Everytime the houseguests talked about it on the live feeds, we got cut off. They were told not to talk of it AT ALL. So they were calling it Zingbotgate. Apparently Zingbot is a girl. They couldn’t stop laughing about it because it was so surreal…. and Ian just stood there.

    As far as back-dooring Dan….. Frank told Dan all about Wil and Ashley coming to see him and even told him that he talked to Ian about it BEFORE the VETO ceremony…. so Dan knew he wasn’t using it on him and they were staying the same. Fake drama for TV.

  15. 15
    featherhead
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 5:34 pm

    Thanks Chooch – I CRS! I’ll share when I go to work tomorrow! The really cheaped out when they made the baby zingbot – I guess production could only afford to give it one arm. Can’t wait till tonight’s eliminations – it starts in 30 minutes for me.

  16. 16
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 5:52 pm

    @chooch: That’s why I love reading the feeds. I’m mostly a lurker but I love to see how the drama unfolds and watch how it’s edited for TV. Like the show made Danielle seem like a puppet for putting Janelle on the block, like it was all Boogie’s idea when in fact Danielle had an ax to grind because she thought Janelle called her fat! I wished Danielle’s pettiness made it to the show but it seems they edited it out to preserve the “Boogie is a mastermind” storyline.

    Too bad tonight’s elimination is going to be so anticlimactic. But I guess after last week anything besides a coach on the block is bound to be boring.

    I hope Ashley or Jenn wins HOH next. I would love to see Boogie start hanging with them. I don’t want Ian to win because he may rock the boat and put a target on his pale, acne scarred back and I just can’t have that! I love the little guy.

    The one good thing about the Mentor Mess is that it forced coaches into an alliance with newbies which would not have happened otherwise. Therefore Boogie feels compelled to protect Frank and Ian (and Jenn, kinda) just like Dan does Danielle and Britney does Shane. I can’t wait to see how the coaches take it when one of their former ‘mentees’ gets put on the block.

    Great Recap, Flipit!! :)

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Human Verification: In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.