Big Brother Recap: Baby Zing

Recaps

By Flipit | Wednesday, August 15, 2012 | 8:20 pm | 16 Comments
Tagged: , , , ,
Posted in: Big Brother, Recaps

Nurse thinks he should have a chance to stay, poor thing. At least he’s not a dyke. Now those bitches are scary.

Time to pick Veto players! Listening to Frank read cue cards scares me about the state of our public education system. But it’s not as scary as this pic:

Screen Shot 2012-08-15 At 7.07.50 Pm

Big Brother has showcased a lot of bad hair, but none worse than this season. It’s like a Fantastic Sam’s commercial from the early 90′s. Chef, One L, now Dan. I have never been prouder to be completely bald. So…thanks?

Chef Yell gets player’s choice and chooses Mobile Spray, bad back and all. With her in the game it’s one less chance Boogie will play. Will says picking Spray Tan was selfish! And then he picks Boogie. LOL SUCKA!! Wil hopes the game is guessing Boogie’s penis size.

Screen Shot 2012-08-15 At 7.11.52 Pm

The only comp Wil is capable of winning.

The Zingbot 3000 is back!! YAY! I love that bitch. She calls Mobile Spray dumb, Shane gay, Britney a loser, Joe and Boogie old and older, Ian dorky, Jenn badly inked, and says Frank looks like he’s wearing a community theater Annie wig. LOL. He doesn’t know what that means. I’m kinda relieved. No one with hard blinks like that should go into a theater. Do you know how much strobe lights are used without warning? A lot. Little Orphan Annie could kill his ass.

Zing saves the best for last, telling Danielle that Shane is going to get a restraining order against her when the show’s done. She’s the only one who doesn’t think that’s funny. Shane hugs her half heartedly, but doesn’t deny it. The back yard is a giant puzzle. The goal is to put together a long pipe that you can get a ball through. Spray Tan shocks America by telling us that she doesn’t do too many puzzles. LOL.

During the comp, Ian helps Boogie like the total wuss that he is. Britney helps Frank, which is just as useless. People who never win trying to help people win. I don’t get it. It’s like watching the Olympics with a bunch of fat people who scream at the TV about what these twelve year olds in perfect shape are fucking up. The point is not to watch the Olympics with family.

Frank winzzzzzzz!!! The only happy one is Boogie. Frank winning somehow means that now Baby Zingbot can be born. It’s like a super low budget R2D2, and I would expect nothing less. Or more. You know what I mean. If it doesn’t look like it was made by a kindergarten class, it doesn’t belong on this show.

Screen Shot 2012-08-15 At 7.33.27 Pm

Britney wants a private talk with Dan, so she gets some bad Supercuts hair so they can talk on the same level.

Screen Shot 2012-08-15 At 7.33.03 Pm

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Flipit
About

Currently, Flipit's writing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps, which you can find here. You can also find him doing a gossip segment twice a week called BS of the Day and video recaps of Project Runway All Stars, as well as spoof ReDubs of the coming soon trailers at the end of RHOBH!

Ronnie Karam has been with TVgasm since 2006 , which has given him the opportunity to make fun of hundreds of TV's most loved and hated reality whores. His plan in life was to be Julia Roberts but that plan was stolen by, well, Julia Roberts. He'll get you one day, JULIA ROBERTS!! When not making himself giggle for the gasm, Ronnie performs improv and sketch comedy at IO West in Hollywood a couple of times weekly while using the lovely California days to audition for commercial roles such as "ADORABLE MEXICAN UNCLE". Seriously. He would like to thank Jesus, Buddha and Xenu for the blessings they've bestowed. The writers here are the best around, and he's honored to be associated with them. Find video archives at CankleTV.com, or follow on Twitter @flipit

16 Comments

  1. 1
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted August 15, 2012 at 9:27 pm

    Diary Room Dan has a serious case of derp face.

  2. 2
    Chicken Lips
    Posted August 15, 2012 at 10:12 pm

    I wonder how one applies to be Zingbot? I’m good at bad dancing, I can be mean to people (all in the name of humor, of course) and I can say “ziiiiiiiiiiiiiing!” like nobody’s business. I love Zingbot.

    Best part of the show to be honest – can we get Zingbot to be in the season for the rest of the season?

  3. 3
    Chicken Lips
    Posted August 15, 2012 at 10:24 pm

    Ugh – you know that I meant having Zingbot in the HOUSE for the rest of the season, so don’t even start. :)

  4. 4
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted August 15, 2012 at 11:02 pm

    When I saw Baby Zing the first thing I thought was “Another little person gets a SAG card.”

  5. 5
    Pikey578
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 2:06 am

    Great recap, Flipit! Just wanted to point out that the Quack Pack and the Silent Six are two different groups. The QP is Dan, Danielle, Britney, Shane and Ian. The SS is the QP – Ian + Frank and Boogie. (Please shoot me now for knowing this…)

    I am still rooting for Dan or Ian for the win. Chef is too loud and has weird facial growth, Danielle is bat shit crazy, Shane is boring, Wil is delusional, Jen is hardly there, Ashley is just there, Britney has lost her edge, Frank is not as smart as he thinks he is and Boogie is a tired old man.

    Thursday night should be fun!

  6. 6
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 7:54 am

    I wished Frank would’ve told Boogie that he isn’t a coach anymore, he’s a player, and Dan is a threat to both of them. Backdooring Dan was the smartest move and it didn’t happen, therefore, Frank is not long for this game. Getting rid of Joe/Wil is ridiculous when the QP and SS will need the other player’s votes to get rid of whomever is the target for that week. There was always an uneasy bond between Boogie and Dan; plus, Boogie could’ve always abandoned Frank to stay in the game and say that Frank made the decision to backdoor him unilaterally, which was true. So, tonight will be a wasted eviction and to top off the shit-cake, we’ll have Jeff Schroeder back in the house. Guess I’ll be watching Project Runway instead.

  7. 7
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 8:11 am

    That Wil with one L is one sour bitch. I bet he’s single. I still like Joe in spite of everything (mainly his pointy nipples. They’re pointy in a BAD way.)

    I wish there was more screaming and yelling; more threats and more drama. Screw Jeff. Bring back Willie.

    Instead of promoting some stupid cornhole app why doesn’t CBS make toy zingbots and sell them?

  8. 8
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 8:19 am

    I think the real reason Boogie doesn’t want to backdoor Dan is that he knows that a previous winner is not likely to win against anyone other than another previous winner. Dan and Boogie need to do everything they can to make sure that they are sitting next to each other in the final two.

  9. 9
    Mer
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 8:29 am

    Firstly, I PRAY somebody just gets rid of the douchey douche looking like a goat trying to pull off a soul patch–Chef Joe! At least Wil can be entertaining at times….

    Secondly, Jenn totally looks like the human version of Uniqua the pink character from the Backyardagins! I’m sorry but I cannot get that out my head every time I see (whenever we see her).

    There hasn’t been a good cast since the Dr Wil-Boogie Season and The Brigade-Brit season.
    You could not PAY me to watch LIVE FEEDS for these snoozers!!!!!!

    Adore the recaps and LOVE the site!!!!!! :)

  10. 10
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 9:15 am

    What was the point of Baby Zingbot? Did it make little jokes?

    I hate when the House Guests use the pool as their bathtub.

    And I would think Shane would be happy to be backdoored…

  11. 11
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 9:32 am

    “And I would think Shane would be happy to be backdoored…”

    I got this from one the the feed sites, but it is not a spoiler. A group was talking about sex the other night, and Shane said that he was not able to come from a blow job from a girl.

  12. 12
    featherhead
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 9:52 am

    Did the Zingbot Zing Wil? My friends say no and I cannot remember if he/it did. If so, what did he say?? Thanks for the help!

  13. 13
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 10:39 am

    @crankyguy, I guess concentrating too hard takes the thrill of the BJ away.

  14. 14
    chooch850 chooch850
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 5:13 pm

    The Zingbot did zing Wil : “What do you call Fabio minus the good looks, muscles & sex appeal? Wil ! Zing!”

    During that VETO competition Zingbot passed out from heat exhaustion. Crumpled right beside Ian. They had to stop everything. Everytime the houseguests talked about it on the live feeds, we got cut off. They were told not to talk of it AT ALL. So they were calling it Zingbotgate. Apparently Zingbot is a girl. They couldn’t stop laughing about it because it was so surreal…. and Ian just stood there.

    As far as back-dooring Dan….. Frank told Dan all about Wil and Ashley coming to see him and even told him that he talked to Ian about it BEFORE the VETO ceremony…. so Dan knew he wasn’t using it on him and they were staying the same. Fake drama for TV.

  15. 15
    featherhead
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 5:34 pm

    Thanks Chooch – I CRS! I’ll share when I go to work tomorrow! The really cheaped out when they made the baby zingbot – I guess production could only afford to give it one arm. Can’t wait till tonight’s eliminations – it starts in 30 minutes for me.

  16. 16
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 5:52 pm

    @chooch: That’s why I love reading the feeds. I’m mostly a lurker but I love to see how the drama unfolds and watch how it’s edited for TV. Like the show made Danielle seem like a puppet for putting Janelle on the block, like it was all Boogie’s idea when in fact Danielle had an ax to grind because she thought Janelle called her fat! I wished Danielle’s pettiness made it to the show but it seems they edited it out to preserve the “Boogie is a mastermind” storyline.

    Too bad tonight’s elimination is going to be so anticlimactic. But I guess after last week anything besides a coach on the block is bound to be boring.

    I hope Ashley or Jenn wins HOH next. I would love to see Boogie start hanging with them. I don’t want Ian to win because he may rock the boat and put a target on his pale, acne scarred back and I just can’t have that! I love the little guy.

    The one good thing about the Mentor Mess is that it forced coaches into an alliance with newbies which would not have happened otherwise. Therefore Boogie feels compelled to protect Frank and Ian (and Jenn, kinda) just like Dan does Danielle and Britney does Shane. I can’t wait to see how the coaches take it when one of their former ‘mentees’ gets put on the block.

    Great Recap, Flipit!! :)

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