Big Brother Recap: Bible School

35 Comments

1. 1
   sarcasatire
   Posted August 30, 2012 at 10:01 pm

   Hilarious recap!!! I don’t even feel bad for missing the show! What I do need, is a poster of Ian flipping Frank off behind his back. That and the caption are amazing!!

2. 2
   Willroast
   Posted August 30, 2012 at 11:03 pm

   I may have already felt this way, but after the last two episodes, I think I dislike Danielle more than any previous hamster. Every conversation she has ever had she always has to turn it into a convo about herself, she is incredibly petty (the real reason she nommed Janelle regardless of the editing), she is scary-stalking Shane, her eyebrows are terrifying and distract me to no end, her ego never ends which is especially annoying since she is so unattractive, and she may just be the neediest chick I’ve ever seen on TV (sorry Jersey Shore cast, Danielle has you beat), and she just plain sucks. The worst part is, when this show is over, she is going to continue to think that she did something in this game when, in fact, it was ALL Dan.

   Not that anybody asked.

3. 3
   Willroast
   Posted August 30, 2012 at 11:14 pm

   Also, another great recap. I had forgotten how much extra fun it was doing the watch then read routine.

4. 4
   itchy
   Posted August 31, 2012 at 2:33 am

   I’ll miss Britney, but she never had a chance of winning anyway.

   As for Dan’s powerplay, this episode made it clear that the only reason his schtick succeeded is because he’s IN A HOUSE FILLED WITH FUCKING IDIOTS.

5. 5
   PinkTop
   Posted August 31, 2012 at 3:00 am

   Shane sure held his own while getting sprayed with goo.

6. 6
   PinkTop
   Posted August 31, 2012 at 3:58 am

   And I HATE that the useless CHUBBY MOUSE Danielle is still there. Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!

7. 7
   Pikey578
   Posted August 31, 2012 at 4:04 am

   “And now, a special visit from Dan’s original alliance, the Duhgade!! ” Um, wasn’t that Britney’s original alliance? Dan was a Renegade, wasn’t he, before becoming a member of the Quack Pack?

   Love me some Dan! I want him and Frank as final 2 and for Dan to get all the votes and for Britney to get America’s player. That is how much I despise tptb for recruiting newbies rather than having people who apply to be on the show. If I remember correctly, only Ian and Frank actually tried to get on the show – the rest of the new cast were all recruited…

   Love the recap, Flipit! You and Danny are doing a bang-up job this year.

8. 8
   alice
   Posted August 31, 2012 at 4:12 am

   its been confirmed jesus loves dan…yes jesus loves dan because the bible tells us soo!!!!
   but the real question is…wheres jesse and his muscle body build as a god..maybe he’s out of shape and dont want to be seen……..

9. 9
   Flipit
   Posted August 31, 2012 at 4:12 am

   Thanks for reading and commenting you guys! Reading you is my fave part. And Pikey, thanks so much for the correction! UGH. I changed it! xo

10. 10
    itchy
    Posted August 31, 2012 at 4:42 am

    Oh sure, fine, you get to edit your typso.

11. 11
    Robin
    Posted August 31, 2012 at 5:41 am

    “There are actually two black people in the audience tonight! I predict they will be voted out of the audience before the first commercial break.”

    I see a few Irish Americans in the audience that need to go too. They look as though they have had too much too drink, the latinos have already scoped out an “audiencemance”, the Italians are pissed because security took their hair gel and the chinese folks are doing the math to see how all this could possibly add up to $500,000

    I truly know what you mean and I hope my point was well taken.

    It seems to me that TPTB try to pigeonhole and form a character. That’s what they get for picking the contestants instead of the contestants applying cold. In the old days some of them were already nut cases and the drama flowed organically. Now it seems like if the HG’s aren’t living up to what their “character” called for, TPTB don’t hesitate to manipulate the game so the character stays pretty much the same. Nerd stays the nerd, Prissy stays prissy, Tat girl stays really fucking stupid and wins a pov by default because she is dull and stupid and they thought that she was going to be a girl Evil Dick but she isn’t because she is dull and stupid. OK that last example wasn’t good. But, I think I made my point

    TC, Robin

12. 12
    smango
    Posted August 31, 2012 at 5:46 am

    Fantastic recap!!! I am SO SO SO glad that you acknowledged Jenn’s awkward insertions when Britney and Frank were talking in the HOH room. It almost sounded like Jenn’s comments were dubbed over in editing. I know that people think Jenn’s strategy thus far has been brilliant, but I am nothing but annoyed. Yes, she made a big move. Yes, she managed to make it this far by flying under the radar. I am annoyed that she is now making comments and participating in converastions like she has been a powerhouse this whole time. Ugh.

13. 13
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted August 31, 2012 at 6:05 am

    Not that she was on there long, but didn’t Jodi actually apply as well? I seem to recall in the various interviews that she’s done since her leaving, she said she applied on multiple seasons of the show and was a replacement when someone else who was originally cast for this season was mysteriously dropped from the cast.

    Also, Britney had time to get her Julie interview and speeches together since it was clear she was going home since the Veto ceremony. Rather than go out like a bitch, she chose to endear herself to the fans and I also thought the Jerry reference was funny as hell. Considering Dan smirked when she said it and rightfully deserved the comment, it had its intended effect (even if the live audience was too in love with Dan to see she was fucked over by him and had a right to be upset).

    Great week of episodes. Hope the season’s homestretch lives up to the past week’s excitement.

14. 14
    Robin
    Posted August 31, 2012 at 6:19 am

    “Were these guys as entertaining in their own season? Cuz I don’t remember that part. I just remember banging my head against the desk a lot and yelling WHYYYYYYY?!?!?”

    Lane entertained his ear everytime he took a shower. It is truly the only thing I can remember about any of them. Sadly.

15. 15
    considerthis
    Posted August 31, 2012 at 6:22 am

    Living up to their quest to attain total mediocrity Chef & St. Bernard are out of the HOH competition before the show even ends. I think Chef fell first meaning he will have to take a “punishment”. Please God let it be a ball gag. Jennnnnnn acted like she had fallen off the roof of the Big Bro house – so useless.

    Not to sound like Boofles but get these floaters the fuck out of the house.

16. 16
    rockpaperscissors
    Posted August 31, 2012 at 6:44 am

    I have to stop reading these at work. Seriously. I ‘m going to get in trouble.

    Also, how many names do you have for Julie Chen? Myf avorites so far are Chenrietta Lacks (I read that book!) and Chen & Teller. I hope you have a closet full of more. Maybe from the same closet Shane is hiding in.

    Britney’s DRs will be missed, but I love this lame group of houseguests that are left. It’s sure to be a shitshow.

17. 17
    fancyface
    Posted August 31, 2012 at 7:16 am

    You had me @: “Screw you, beta carotene, vtamin A and fiber!”

    And I’m confused…how did Dan saving himself unjustly screw over BRITTANY? You know the one who was ready to vote him out & prayed to Lane’s penis that he wouldn’t come off the block so she could stay safe. So um….yeah. How DARE Dan save himself while the girl who didn’t give a fuck if he stayed or not left! Sorry, not sorry. BYE BRITTANY you COOZE NOZZLE! The only person who wasn’t a p.o.s for leaving their family to play a game according to you. I for one will not miss your hypocritical ass.

    BTW…I floved Lane during his season. He was as dumb as a box of rocks but he was probably THE most entertaining thing about his season besides Enzo’s delusional ass. His d.r commentary was highly amusing lol. I wonder if Matt is still pissed about those brainacs who were saved due to him winning comps when they never could voting him out as soon as they could? The pic of him dressed as possessed, pageant Brittany was the best thing about that segment. Also? Hayden? You’re still rocking the long locks? He hasn’t outgrown his baby curls yet? No? Ok *sigh*

18. 18
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted August 31, 2012 at 8:11 am

    Whatever.

    It’s obvious many of you are in love with Dan and want to have sex with his hairy ass. All I can say is “Ew.” I don’t like him because he’s one of those fake bible people. You know the type — they want everybody to think they’re good and religious and then they’re caught with crack and a gay hooker in a seedy motel. That’s Dan.

    Does anybody think Jenn, Frank and Danielle are smart? Me neither so how amazing was Dan’s move, then? It’s like he outmaneuvered special ed kids. I’m completely unimpressed.

19. 19
    itchy
    Posted August 31, 2012 at 8:53 am

    Oh, Mr. D., it’s not his fault he’s not a short, squat troll. Give him a couple more years of marriage, he’ll plump up. But I do believe the whole “Father” Dan act is part of his strategy for winning. I’ve never taken his bible ploy seriously — it’s just a way of putting the others off their guard. And it works quite well.

20. 20
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted August 31, 2012 at 8:55 am

    @fancyface: Dan screwed over Brittany because they were in the QP alliance together. While he did save himself, he blew up the QP in the process. Also, she was the replacement nominee and went home, so there’s that.

    @Mister_Dangerous: I actually do think Jenn had a different take on the floater strategy than we’ve seen in the past which has been interesting (to me) to see progress over the past six weeks, Dan manipulated Frank’s desire to play the game “honestly,” and Danielle has to have some level of intelligence to be a nurse in her every day life.

21. 21
    crankyguy
    Posted August 31, 2012 at 8:55 am

    @Mister_Dangerous, with your love of all things Hantz, I just have to ask if you had the same aversion to Li’l Hantz’s Bible thumping and his ogling of that lingerie football chick while condemning her as a Jezebel and whore of Babylon? I mean, if a guy is hot enough, you’ll cut him a little slack on the Bible thumpin’ and sky pointing won’t you? Have some compassion for God’s holy people.

22. 22
    fancyface
    Posted August 31, 2012 at 10:19 am

    @Mr. D…1st of all, there is NOTHING about Dan that I find attractive besides his game play so take that shit back! TAKE.IT.BACK! lol
    2ndly: “Does anybody think Jenn, Frank and Danielle are smart?” I do not as I’ve made abundantly clear. Now do I think IAN & BRITTNEY are smart? YES….Now who were the two people he knocked the hell out of & they didn’t even see it coming until it was to late? Yeah…there goes your theory.

    @Derek…See what I was saying is that saving yourself by outing an alliance that were going to vote your ass out in 48hrs & getting the girl who wanted you to stay up more than anyone else put on the block..is not ‘throwing them under the bus’. It was not sacrificing yourself for an alliance that couldn’t give two shits if you leave or not. So call me when that happens & I’ll help you accuse Dan of being a backstabber as well. Until then, Dan taking out Brittney before she took out him is called good game play so…there’s that.

23. 23
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted August 31, 2012 at 12:30 pm

    Fine.

    You’re all a bunch of Preacher Dan love groupies. I certainly don’t want to be part of THAT group.

    I’ll stick with the misfit-egghead, the cross-dresser and the shouty-chef.

24. 24
    crankyguy
    Posted August 31, 2012 at 1:34 pm

    mrs crankyguy and I are fighting over Dan. I love the sonnabitch and mrs crankyguy hates him and she’s REALLY pissed at me. Oh, well.

25. 25
    juddfan
    Posted August 31, 2012 at 2:04 pm

    eh, I think it’s kind of shitty to dump your whole alliance, tell every secret you know, and align with the other side out of the blue. so he saved himself, at what cost? Is it going to get him votes in the end? What he did to Dani was gross, not that I like her, but seriously douchey move. I’m glad the game is moving, and the house was rocked, and maybe, if Dani had gone instead, I wouldn’t have cared, because Britt was beyond awesome this episode. I loved the good and evil talking about Dan. I’m surprised it didn’t change anyones mind.

    Seeing that he couldn’t even speak to her screams asshole feeling guilty to me.

    Again, glad for all the awesomeness and game changing. I really hope ian gets HOH, for more fun on the way. But Dan is not a hero to me. I’m sure Mr. D is not referring to me anyway . . . hee . . .

    I usually follow the feeds, but I’ve been having trouble keeping up lately. It is fun to dive in on the latest without knowing tho.

    thanks as always for your awesomeness flip-it!!!

26. 26
    fancyface
    Posted August 31, 2012 at 2:25 pm

    @MrD…”I’ll stick with the misfit-egghead, ( I love Ian..well I love the pre-stupid game moves Ian, but I still like him in his current state…for now) the cross-dresser (which one?) and the shouty-chef.” (I def don’t have a problem with Shouty except for the whole shouting thing & the unfortunate facial hair decision)

    @Juddfan…”eh, I think it’s kind of shitty to dump your whole alliance, (especially right before they were about to SEND YOUR ASS HOME) tell every secret you know, (duh, otherwise it wouldn’t work), and align with the other side out of the blue.( RIGHT before your ‘alliance’ WAS ABOUT TO SEND YOUR ASS HOME) so he saved himself, (because that’s what the point of the game is) at what cost?” (possibly 500k for starters)

    DAMN you Dan for being smart enough to turn on Brittney RIGHT before she sent your ass out the door. Damn you to hell! *shakes fist*

27. 27
    Willroast
    Posted August 31, 2012 at 3:43 pm

    I’m indifferent to Dan as far as liking him or not. Regardless, he obviously made a great game move so he gets props. Tough to argue that he did anything to Britt that she wasn’t about to do to him. And I think Britt was the best thing on this show, so it did bum me out, but Dan really didn’t do her dirty (only Lane gets to do that).

    Honestly, Frank is now the one that I’m pulling for with Britt gone. He really has stepped up his game with the challenges and his entertainment value with the way he has been straight up beating folks down. Ian’s supposed to be Mr. Smart Guy but Frank absolutely dismantled him in last night’s argument. All Ian could do is flail is arms and leak in his shorts. Actually, while I did kinda find Ian interesting early on, I mostly am just annoyed by him now.

28. 28
    crankyguy
    Posted August 31, 2012 at 3:51 pm

    I don’t know how far in advance that endurance challenge was planned, but that sort of game where the winner is the person who hangs on the longest is almost always won by a smaller person. As soon as a saw what the challenge was I called who would be out first and who would win. The only thing that surprised me was who came in second place because strong guys usually don’t last too long doing that sort of thing.

29. 29
    crockpot
    Posted August 31, 2012 at 4:42 pm

    Oh my God Flipit-awesome recap. Tonight I will kiss my bible to the real power that entertains me. Flipit.

30. 30
    Willroast
    Posted August 31, 2012 at 9:41 pm

    I think everybody has Shane pegged wrong. I don’t think he is gay, I think he just pretends to be hoping that Danielle will take a hint. During the eviction, she had so much mascara on that it looked like when somebody paints fake eye’s onto their closed eyelids. I would wear a pink shirt “on the reg” too if such a nasty chick were stalking me.

31. 31
    itchy
    Posted September 1, 2012 at 2:14 am

    Apparently pink is the new manly anyway. On my visit to the States (NJ) this summer I saw lots of hairy goombah types wearing pink. Most of them had fauxhawks too. So it’s possible Shane isn’t gay, but just another idiot from the Jersey Shore.

32. 32
    cattyfan
    Posted September 1, 2012 at 8:09 am

    “By the way, I’d like to take this time to thank the homely straight girls who follow me around and tell me I’m talented. Without you, I wouldn’t survive. xo”

    You’re welcome.

33. 33
    PinkTop
    Posted September 1, 2012 at 6:49 pm

    @itchy – Shane is from Vermont, not the Jersey Shore.

34. 34
    brzysmom12
    Posted September 1, 2012 at 6:58 pm

    Happy to be appreciated oh Talented One.

35. 35
    itchy
    Posted September 2, 2012 at 1:42 am

    I meant in the religious sense, PinkTop. But that five o’clock shadow of his is certainly heavy enough to make him part of the Jersey Shore crowd.