Britney immediately asks Dani if she knew about this, and Dani answers “no” waaaay too quickly. It’s the first time I’ve heard Danielle use and adult voice vs her usual baby speak, so it should be a tell. Brit, not a moron, doesn’t seem to buy it. Meanwhile, Dan is in a bedroom jumping up and down and karate chopping the air. He tells the cameras that this has been his finest moment in the BB house and he doesn’t know how he’ll ever top it. You can’t, so just keep everyone on their toes by talking in a normal, quiet tone? No? I tried. ;(
Ian? Is fuming. You can tell, cuz he’s doing that arms-swinging-wildly-all-over-the-place-nerd-walk thing as he stomps up to the HOH room to tell off Carrot Top Richard Simmons Frank and his trusty lesbian St Bernard, Jenn. “I don’t know what you think you’re doin’, bud!!” It’s like getting told off by my papaw.
Listen here, bud!!
Frank yells that Ian thought he had all his bases covered and now he doesn’t. Ian knows that’s a baseball reference, but he’s not sure about the details so he considers changing to a Star Trek metaphor before blubbering about how he proved his allegiance to Frank when he agreed not to use his veto. Frank shouts that the reason he didn’t use it is cuz his mommy Brit would have been put up and he knew it. Ian knows he’s been a bad boy, and he knows he doesn’t really have a leg to stand on, so he stomps out of the room swinging his arms like a drunk nerd monkey flailing for a vine.
Brit is slightly charmed by the nerd trying to impress her, so she pats him on the head and tells him it’s ok before hunting down Dan and pulling out her biggest weapon: Her pout. Dan is lying down on the couch staring at a wall and refusing to look at her. She says she gets that it’s a game but wants the truth about what happened. He just mutters that it’s not personal and refuses to engage her further. “So now that I’m on the block I have the plague?!?” HAHA. Nice try with the Bible reference, Brit! He still won’t engage, so she cries and says that how he treats people will affect her jury vote. He just stares at the wall.
Dani and Shane are sitting around together. He’s showing off his terrible hair while she mutters about nothing in her baby voice. Then he asks the question on all of America’s minds: “Where did Jenn come from??” Wherever it is, they have no body issues. I haven’t seen a bikini that proudly misplaced since the last time I went to an air show.
Brit has taken her pout to the HOH room, where Frank is giving the St. Bernard a bath. Brit says she knows it’s just a game, but she’s not that close with Iiiiiiiiaaan!! Frank calls bs. Brit cries and says Frank is a really good player. He says she is too, and Jenn interjects her opinion for the tenth time. Brit won’t acknowledge that she’s even there, which is hilarious. She should have brought up a rawhide to give that bitch something to do while the adults talked. Brit sobs that she’ll help them if they keep her. Frank smiles condescendingly. Jenn tries to copy it, her eyes darting around the room confusedly.