Simmons finds Hantz to have a real good down home “hicks that stay together get tooth decay together” speech. Hantz immediately covers his nuts.
Simmons won’t stop with his “Ah trust ya, mayuhn” bs, and Hantz adds another pillow for protection. The man has serious nut insecurity.
Why is Simmons wasting time with ass kissing instead of asking important questions like “what’s up with your nuts?” or “why do you shave off all your body hair?” This guy is useless.
Hantz says he wants Boogie’s team gone because he knows Boogie is after him. Hantz seems to be falling for Simmon’s hicky bonding moment, but it’s hard to tell what he’s thinking. I have a feeling it sounds like crickets, but time will tell.
Brit and Janelle are getting drunk in the bathroom together laughing their asses off that the idiot noobs are doing whatever they say. I like watching arrogant people fall on their faces, so the next couple of weeks should be fun. Brit seems to be kinda fake laughing to just keep up with Janelle. I think she might be afraid of the tanker tits in front of her. I can’t be the only one. J better hope for lots of river rafting challenges.
We’re coming up on the first commercial break and none of my questions have been answered. How has Dan still not hit puberty? I NEED TO KNOW THE SECRET!! It better no be prayer. I gave that up last Lent. Dammit there’s the religion thing again. Phew commercial I’m gonna pee.
I’m back! Peeing was so fun! Pressed rewind to make sure I didn’t miss anything and this happened:
Everyone’s outside begging Ian to show off his useless talent.
Love this kid. I would totally have hung out with him in school. Mostly because he would have been beat up more than me. Boogie is kinda horrified that he went from an alliance with “the best player in Big Brother history” to this twit. I am horrified that a grown man is in such awe of himself for winning the white trash Olympics. “America, kick me in the face.” And from the looks of it, they did.
Time to pick players for the Veto Comp! Why is Bimbo wearing a summer dress? I hope this is a Nickelodean slime challenge. Dumbass. Wait. Her cooch will be hanging out. Never mind. She’s brilliant.