Big Brother Recap: Chump Change

Recaps

By Flipit | Wednesday, July 18, 2012 | 10:45 pm | 20 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Big Brother, Recaps

Brit jumps right back, saying that him saying there is a line in the sand is her line in the sand. Or something. I don’t think Boogie’s been talked to by women much like that (that he hasn’t thrown a twenty at before kicking them out of his car and leaving them in the underpass), cuz he’s now shifty eyed and scared looking. Brit tries to get a cheezit out of her teeth with her tongue. HAHAH!! FLOVE.

Brit goes to the bathroom, where Janelle seems to always be, to tell her that Boogie threatened her. Janelle knows that Boogs is all about intimidating women, but they don’t care. It’s hard to pull that off when you’re semi good looking, but almost impossible when you age that homely-ily. Let’s just pretend that’s a word. Spread it.

Boogie is a misogynist, but I am super grateful he’s here because he’s pissed off Britney, and that’s when she’s at her best. He will ensure plenty of this in the future:

Screen Shot 2012-07-18 At 11.01.46 Pm

Brit tells J that she’s just gonna smear Boogie to the whole house. She wants to get the hell out of that bathroom right now, because she’s sure his second item on the dbag to-do list is to grace the second powervag in the house with his presence. Sure enough, he comes in and smarms all over Janelle like a two bit waiter trying to shill the most specials for the night to win a Starbucks gift card or some shit.

Screen Shot 2012-07-18 At 11.11.06 Pm
The scampi’s on special tonight because YOU deserve something special, sweet cakes!

He says that they could knock out Dan first and up their win chances. She does that I’mgigglinglikeabimbobutI’vebeenknockedupbydickslikeyouonetoomanytimes thing she does until he leaves, convinced he’s got some sort of charisma that the ghost of Will left on him. Janelle? Hates him. HAHA. She goes straight to Dan and tells him that Boog just offered him up on a platter. Dan shout/explains to us that Boogie isn’t as smart as he thinks. Well he sure dresses the part, Dan.

Screen Shot 2012-07-18 At 11.19.14 Pm

JoJo is in the kitchen talking. What? I didn’t know she talked! When did this start? she’s trying to teach Danielle how a Jersey bitch says cawfee. Danielle can’t do it. One obnoxious as fuck accent at a time for that pea brain.

Screen Shot 2012-07-18 At 11.22.56 Pm
head=explodes

Danielle can’t teach JoJo to talk like a hick, either. The city mouse and the country mouse eventually just said fuck it and went their own ways, right? I don’t know, but I do know that this segment has made me love JoJo. She’s hilarious. But I’m still gonna start calling her …

Screen Shot 2012-07-18 At 11.27.17 Pm
HoHo

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Flipit
About

Currently, Flipit's writing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps, which you can find here. You can also find him doing a gossip segment twice a week called BS of the Day and video recaps of Project Runway All Stars, as well as spoof ReDubs of the coming soon trailers at the end of RHOBH!

Ronnie Karam has been with TVgasm since 2006 , which has given him the opportunity to make fun of hundreds of TV's most loved and hated reality whores. His plan in life was to be Julia Roberts but that plan was stolen by, well, Julia Roberts. He'll get you one day, JULIA ROBERTS!! When not making himself giggle for the gasm, Ronnie performs improv and sketch comedy at IO West in Hollywood a couple of times weekly while using the lovely California days to audition for commercial roles such as "ADORABLE MEXICAN UNCLE". Seriously. He would like to thank Jesus, Buddha and Xenu for the blessings they've bestowed. The writers here are the best around, and he's honored to be associated with them. Find video archives at CankleTV.com, or follow on Twitter @flipit

20 Comments

  1. 1
    msjacqmills
    Posted July 19, 2012 at 7:29 am

    The picture of Willie captioned “DON’T MOVE” – total gold – I snort-laughed!

    Awesome recap, Flipit!

    You’re down in my neck of the woods…we moved to Texas last year (from Cali), and I’m still trying to get used to all of the God-liness. And, all of the Republicans – holy smokes it’s even more conservative than I thought it was gonna be.

  2. 2
    Honeybee
    Posted July 19, 2012 at 7:33 am

    God, the Ian kid reminds me of Bill Haverchuck from Freaks and Geeks.

    Exhibit A:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8G0m0D1y3w
    Exhibit B:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dB_D_ZxGUWA

  3. 3
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted July 19, 2012 at 7:33 am

    @Flipit, we “appreesh” your recap! To me, Frank is less Richard Simmons and more Napoleon Dynamite and Carrot Top’s gay love child.

  4. 4
    featherhead
    Posted July 19, 2012 at 7:51 am

    Does anyone know why they call Frank “Stinky” in the live feed forums? I tried to ask, but that stupid captcha code thingy was acting up on me.
    Loved the recap Flipit!! A recap of BB and Project Runway starts tonight!! That will be the icing on my crap day that I am having at work!! I am totally not appreesh today!!

  5. 5
    Philo
    Posted July 19, 2012 at 8:23 am

    @featherhead,
    I read that Frank doesn’t use deodorant, because he doesn’t want chemicals on his body, or he has a chemical imbalance, or something like that. So working out+hot california sun+no deodorant = Stinky.

    Great recap Flipit!

    Is it me or is Danielle with makeup look much different than Danielle w/o makeup?

    Also Boogie “America, just kick me in the face”. I’d love to fulfill that wish.

  6. 6
    featherhead
    Posted July 19, 2012 at 8:53 am

    @Philo – Thank you and ewwww!! Now I’m going to cringe everytime I see him hug someone, except if it’s Boogers!!

  7. 7
    nestofvipers nestofvipers
    Posted July 19, 2012 at 8:57 am

    Boogie looks like a blonde Gargamel. I don’t see why he thinks he’s some big time BB genius when the only reason he won all-stars is because Dr. Will was his brains, Janie was his brawn, and Erica was his skanky pawn.
    I hope they are all smart enough to get rid of Stank this week and leave Bimbo for my viewing pleasure.

  8. 8
    msjacqmills
    Posted July 19, 2012 at 9:35 am

    nestofvipers – werd, werd and WERD!

  9. 9
    juddfan
    Posted July 19, 2012 at 9:54 am

    Gargamel, HAHAHAHAHA! @nestofvipers! He was definitely a vulture in a previous life!

    Flip, oh how I love you, your snark and your caps! I so noticed the pillow in-between Willie’s legs, WTH? Totes weird, and not very friendly to the only thing he’s good for, which is eye candy . .. . sigh . . . at least Russell was happy to run around in his skivvies! Harrruuummmpphhh! I also loved “Don’t Move” but was a bit surprised to hear that from you! The dude is so over metro-ed he could be in Wham!

    Ever since I heard Stinky, I just can’t with the Ginge, ew . . . he’s got a real ridden hard look to his face, and his hair looks way dirty. Me thinks he also doesn’t wash, and the whole POV challenge was designed to get him into some soap and water.

    I would definitely be the Wil in this place. I kind of love him and wish he would get more camera time.

    I also wish to never look at or hear from “Boogs” ever again. He is so beyond gross, why are they torturing us with his empty boasting and stupid ass hats. I wish they could vote him out and we didn’t have to wait for weeks. Also, a tad surprised to hear he’s 42 . . . drugs are a bad thing for aging. I would feel sorry for him, coz he’s so fugly, but somehow he carries himself like he’s God’s gift (capital G is for Texas ; ) Love, love, loved Janelle’s “I hate Boogie” diary moments. Seems they all hate him, and yet, who did we see more of than anyone else . . . hmmm.

    Producers, and editors, if you’re reading this, Boogs is not a love to hate, that will be Willie, according to my crystal ball.

    As much as I don’t think it’s fair that the Newbs get over looked in favor of the Vets, I am so glad there was no shout chef

  10. 10
    itchy itchy
    Posted July 19, 2012 at 9:57 am

    Why did Janelle have semen on her lips all episode?

    Is Boogie turning into a gremlin?

    The Lesbian Tattooed Lady looks suspiciously like the hippopotamus character from New Zoo Revue.

    Also: Hohos… yum…

    This coaches thing sucks. They completely overshadow the new kids and the editing isn’t helping much either.

  11. 11
    juddfan
    Posted July 19, 2012 at 10:23 am

    The New Zoo Review, hahahahaha!!!! Cept now I’ll have that stuck in my head all day-thanks Itchy! ; )

  12. 12
    itchy itchy
    Posted July 19, 2012 at 1:02 pm

    Henrietta Hippo. That’s the name. Because she doesn’t quite live up to Evil Dick’s reputation, does she? Hell, it’s hard to know if she’s even in the house.

    I used to have to watch that show because of my kids. Although…speaking of shrooms…

  13. 13
    juddfan
    Posted July 19, 2012 at 1:33 pm

    It’s quite an unusual thing, the animals talk and sing, with Doug and Emmy-jo, everyday’s a different show . . .

    See, I wasn’t kidding!

    I think I used to see it on sick days from school . . .

  14. 14
    itchy itchy
    Posted July 19, 2012 at 1:44 pm

    I blame Big Brother for this. Make it stop! Make it stop!

  15. 15
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted July 19, 2012 at 4:01 pm

    Oh Flip I love, love, love your ‘caps!!! And I agree with itchy@10 that the coaches … Read Booger… Add nothing. I’ll bet they are planning a coup!!! Beware newbies, and be afraid. Very afraid.

  16. 16
    Robin Robinez
    Posted July 19, 2012 at 6:16 pm

    Loved it. The re-cap I mean. The show was a bit Meh.

    Every season there are folks that get more camera time, understandably, because their personality is camera worthy. This season they seem to completely ignore a few houseguests and give them just enough camera time so we don’t forget they are actually there. I think they are doing this to give the “Coaches” the ultimate amt of camera time and not because the others are boring.

    Hantz should have been so opposite of his brothers rep. He should have come in and been the nicest southern gentleman so that the others would say “Hey we should give him the benifit of the doubt, look how cool he is. It would be awful to be a nice guy and have everyone not like you immediately because of your brother, we have all be judged before”. He could even SAY that. But he had to be nice to do it and I am afraid that ship has sailed.

    “The New Zoo Review, The New Zoo Review”..Gosh brought back memories. Then for some reason I started thinking of H.R. Puffinstuff..H.R Puffinstuff ..Who you call when things get rough..can do a little you can do enough.. Soo lol

    Robin

  17. 17
    running wild
    Posted July 19, 2012 at 6:49 pm

    Frank reminds me of Danny Noonan from Caddyshack.

  18. 18
    CynTV CynTV
    Posted July 19, 2012 at 7:46 pm

    Flip baby – EVERY picture of GirlDick is scary. I do a little recoil every time she’s on screen. For my entry into “Who does Boogie remind you of?”, I’d like to submit that he looks like one of those little troll bankers from Gringott’s in the Harry Potter movies. Maybe we can compile all our various answers and vote on a winner. Even that would be more interesting that the borefest that is BB. It better damn well pick up. I miss Chima.

    And did I miss something? I thought Hantz and Richard Simmons had an alliance. So why did Hantz put him up for eviction?

    Keep up the good work, Flip. Hey – maybe you can get a preacher to bless the swimming pool. Then every time you dive in, you’ll be anointing yourself with Holy Water. That should make the fam happy!

  19. 19
    Gina
    Posted July 22, 2012 at 3:44 pm

    Danny Noonan! Yes!!! Also Boogie has got to be the butt ugliest person on tv. And someone please tell that chef to quiet the f down!! You’re mic’d (sp?)!!! We can all hear you just fine, moron!

  20. 20
    mehrcat
    Posted July 30, 2012 at 2:46 am

    I agree about Boogie and the hats. I’m wondering just how many he has. The are some men who really suit hats, it complements their bone structure and the shape of the skull. Boogie, unfortunately, is not one of these men. Is he just showing off his headwear collection or is he actually sending out a code?
    In the name of good taste and in an effort to prevent secret communications, all his hats, caps, yurmulkas, scarves, mantillas, etc., except for one which he can choose. should be confiscated.

    Boy, those people in the diary room can really scream. Some seem to think that the microphone’s on the other side of a valley and not just a few feet away. Britney sounds like a jet plane warming up and that chef guy is so bombastic.

    I’m in the UK where BB is on every night. It’s a very different game over here. Any talk of nominations is prohibited so it’s not so political. Cliques form and break up. It’s a completey different dynamic, you see much more human interaction than just plotting and scheming. Each week each of the housemates nominate and the two with the most votes go up for the public vote.
    HMs do tasks to win money for their shopping budget. Then afterwards they must select from a grocery catalogue. They do their sums, (no calculators) with blackboard and chalk, then one of them goes into the diary room to read out the list.
    This week, a girl who knew she would be voted out the next night, took in the list, they were on a luxury shopping budget, and ignoring what everyone wanted, bought over £500′s worth of chocolate bars, chocolate spread and chocolate cookies. No cigarettes! She had to suffer to anger of her HMs for a day before leaving. When they leave the house, they actually go outdoors, catwalk, screens, lights, cameras and a few thousand members of the public. This week they didn’t show Caroline outside at all. The baying of the crowd was so bad, I believe.

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