Big Brother Recap: Ho Vs Ho

20 Comments

1. 1
   sarcasatire
   Posted July 27, 2012 at 12:20 am

   “I think [Dan] just wanted to make [Danielle] cry so she would hug him more.”

   This!! Every time he bore bad news, she had to bear his weight. Especially creepy was when he told her he wasn’t helping her anymore and when she got all verklempt, he eagerly climbed in bed with her with his arms outstretched. Eww. Suspect. Maybe I’m just paranoid because I saw a flyer in my neighborhood for a “youth retreat” for a local church inviting people ages 17-30. Um, who would send their 17 year old daughter on a retreat in the mountains with a bunch of horny Dan’s? “God doesn’t love you if you don’t obey.” Hug.

2. 2
   itchy
   Posted July 27, 2012 at 2:19 am

   Oh Flipit, once again you prove why you’re the King of All Recappers. You riff like jazz, except I hate jazz, but still, great stuff!

   Hopefully Vote for the Worst will get a bug up their butt and help organize a massive “NO” vote. Even though we all know this is rigged — there’s no way they’ll let that happen. Except the only way they’ll ever convince people it’s not rigged is if they allow the NO vote. In which case, they’ve doubly fucked themselves.

   I’m just happy I’m going on vacation soon. I’ll just ignore the rest of the season while I’m stuck in a real-life Big Brother house with my extended family.

   I for one am sorry to see HoHo go. Those lips! That accent! That weird glittery pimple on her throat!

   The rest of this crew disgust me. There is not a single person left to root for. And you know Britney will be the first coach voted out and then what? All the rest of them look like plastic dolls in their bikinis.

3. 3
   Daniel
   Posted July 27, 2012 at 4:54 am

   In your screen cap of screaming asshole chef, it looks like he has jizz dribbling down his chin.

4. 4
   themiki
   Posted July 27, 2012 at 6:29 am

   ***sigh*** Bye, HoHo. Guess I’m rooting for Ian now. Just please, for the love of fuck, don’t let one of the coaches win the season. And next season: NEW PEOPLE. All of them, dammit!

   Has America ever done a celebrity Big Brother? I watched part of the Australian (?) version that had Tara Reid being a hot mess, and it made me wonder why CBS hasn’t cashed in on the overabundance of hot mess celebs with tax debts that need paying.

5. 5
   RTVfan
   Posted July 27, 2012 at 6:32 am

   OMG, WHO SHOT JULIE?? WHERE’S WILLIE?!? Was my first thought when Julie first appeared on my screen. My second thought was “oh Julie, isn’t wearing a blood-splattered dress a little too soon after the Colorado massacre?”

   I love how the producers are trying to twist around their original twist (of the coaches coming into the game) into a viewer’s vote, like that’s not rigged at all *eye roll*. Keeping the blood off their hands (and onto Julie’s dress). This show gets more ridiculous each season and I know I’m insane by continuing to avidly watch and hope for something better each year. Because isn’t the definition of insanity repeating the same behavior and expecting a different result?

   Finally, loved this: ” Staten Island is trying to board the fairy”. LOL

6. 6
   AntSuck
   Posted July 27, 2012 at 6:44 am

   @itchy, even if VFTW wanted to do that, all the brainless BB fans, or tards (as we affectionately call them) will be voting “yes,” so it’s not worth the effort.

   I think this season’s mega boring. Almost as much as season 12. There’s not a single person in this cast that I give the slightest crap about. The whole coach twist sucks the excitement out of everything. I hate twists that force people into alliances (see: BB11 high school cliques, BB13 newbies vs. veterans, and this season’s coach twist). Just have no twists! It’s so simple.

7. 7
   crankyguy
   Posted July 27, 2012 at 6:58 am

   This “America Votes” crap is pure horseshit. Even if every vote is to not let the coaches play, Chen will announce that America has voted to release the coaches into the game as players. This is a done deal no matter what the actual vote is. Hear me now and believe me later.

8. 8
   itchy
   Posted July 27, 2012 at 7:13 am

   This season is making me miss that winter season of Big Brother, you know the one, with the slimy tatted porn kid and what’s her name, the skank with fake tits.

9. 9
   considerthis
   Posted July 27, 2012 at 7:27 am

   Dan’s “Hail Mary” was a “Hail Allison” as no doubt she had a hand in making sure he was ousted with Nurse Bimbo last night. Now she locks in the deal with charging America a dollar if you want to see the coaches evicted and I am gona keep the $ and keep the coaches in anyway. How do you think I got so rich? Funny how we have to pay – when other times we can cast a vote on-line.

   What in the fuck was Nurse Bimbo wearing last night? Growing up in the 80′s I thought I has seen henious fashion choices but this dress makes it to the hall of fame – first vote. The color, the fabric, the huge vertical bow – flashbacks make it STOOOOOOP.

   As for Dr. Will you please lay off the botox, he spoke yet not a muscle moved on his entire face. Fuck the tat removal business. Kill & stuff Boogie put him on your knee and head to Vegas – Ventriloquists make beaucoup bux!

10. 10
    crankyguy
    Posted July 27, 2012 at 8:10 am

    “what’s her name, the skank with fake tits”

    Can you be more specific?

11. 11
    itchy
    Posted July 27, 2012 at 8:54 am

    I can’t remember… hold on, I gotta do some research.

    Okay, check this out. This is what comes up when you search for “Big brother fake tits” —
    http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/sep/10/turkey-fake-big-brother-rescue

    Oh yeah. Natalie was the name. Ick. And yet, I’d take her and the rest of her season over ALL of this season’s hamsters.

12. 12
    crankyguy
    Posted July 27, 2012 at 9:46 am

    Yes, Natalie the milk maid and giver of blow jobs to Matt and probably anyone else who wanted one. I think that was the first season of BB After Dark on Showtime and the hamsters were encouraged to get nekkid and have sex for late night viewers. Crazy James used to sit naked by the pool chewing his toenails.

13. 13
    Sarlynn
    Posted July 27, 2012 at 12:42 pm

    Itchy…that is the best link ever. I know I shouldn’t laugh but “She said the women were not abused or harassed sexually, but that they were told to fight each other, to wear bikinis and to dance by the villa’s pool.” Bwah ha ha hah ha!!!

14. 14
    jsacks4
    Posted July 27, 2012 at 1:21 pm

    I hope Shane gets some propecia in his hoh basket. That swirly hair style and gentle styling pats are not working.

15. 15
    itchy
    Posted July 27, 2012 at 1:28 pm

    Also no one noticed One-L was rockin’ the Mondo look? Now there’s a way to win respect. I’m voting him as The Most Disappointing Gay Stereotype Ever.

16. 16
    Hol
    Posted July 27, 2012 at 5:32 pm

    My take on the coach thing is that they should let them in the game individually as they go out. You know, they walk out with their last player and Julie hands them a key and tells they can return as a player for the big money and they ring the doorbell and walk back in and stick the key in the keyhole next to their name “unlocking” themselves.. It would make the coaches struggle with dumping their players faster to get in the game or hold on for the 100000.

17. 17
    Annie
    Posted July 27, 2012 at 10:25 pm

    @ consider this….YES! WHAT WAS THAT DRESS? Not only was it hideous, it was way too small. Hopefully if there’s a competition involving fire, she’ll throw it in there.

    And yeah, “America’s Choice” what a crock of shit.

18. 18
    Lola
    Posted July 29, 2012 at 6:25 pm

    Is it me or does Shane and Britney both have eyes that are both looking off to opposite sides?

    Oh my god, that dress last night!? Reminded me of Pretty in Pink, although she wasn’t. And someone please tell her to blow her nose already.

19. 19
    Lola
    Posted July 29, 2012 at 6:26 pm

    Also her Joker lips give me the creeps.

20. 20
    juddfan
    Posted July 30, 2012 at 2:05 pm

    Well, I have to agree with the over all blah’s everyone is spouting. I’ve been in Olympics land so I’m late to the party, and honestly, I’m just zipping these. I hate that shouty chef with such a passion . . . I’m sure this is going to land him a show on Food Network–NOT!

    Flip, from what I can gather (haven’t been on the feeds since Friday) Ho Ho was hated for being with Willie, and that’s all. Sucks, don’t it! Why didn’t frikin willie go for the POV, I’m so pissed I can’t at least look at his Shiney Russellness, and would TPTB do some phoney baloney to keep him in for drama.

    I’m so revolted that Boogie is still there, and feeling in power–barf, barf, puke!!! Ugh! If it wasn’t for all you beautiful people, I just wouldn’t watch anymore, but alas, I’d miss you all far too much! I can’t quit you!!!! bwahahahahaha!

    BION, I fucking actually voted NO on that stupid waste of a dollar. I didn’t want to get fucked by the obviousness without at least saying that I was against it. How could they have a full season without it? How could they not do the one-two punch and get rid of “or release to the game” Dan. I hope this is coherent, the ends of my sentences are disappearing and I can’t check for all my usual bobbles, dyslexic moments, and bad slang respellings from the frikkin auto correct!!!!

    Anyhow, I will continue to catch up . . . and Flip, you are soooo not ugly!!!! Mwah!