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Ian claims to be grossed out, and says that Gaystruction is trying to board the Staten Island Ferry. That’s cute, but totally incorrect. Staten Island is trying to board the fairy, here. See what I did there you guys? DID YOU SEE? Anyway, Ian says he’s grossed out, but his body language says he’s totes turned on. Why else would he be going down on a bear?
You are heavy on the tongue. Please just go to sleep.
Ian wakes up and runs to tattle about what he saw to Nurse Bimbo. She’s floored. “I thought he was attracted to me!” It might be the bikini. There’s a lot of boob folding going on there.
The next day, Janelle’s lying around with Mobile Spray Tan Bimbo and Nurse Bimbo. It’s like the room they send rejected girls from Playboy to to get ground into mulch. They’re talking about Gaystruction, and how he’s too skinny. Mobile Spray says “He’s emancipated!” No one knows what that word means, and the only black person was sent home in the first five minutes so she can’t define it for them.
MobiSpray says emancipated is when someone is so skinny that they turn inverted. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLLL. I fucking LOVE STUPID PEOPLE!! It’s why I will always live in LA. I may be ugly as lyin’ here but at least I’m intelligent! Janelle chimes in that his head weighs less than one of her breast implants. Poor thing probably got those mountains put in when they were still making them out of bathroom caulk. Negative: they’re heavy. Positive: they never leak.
Nurse Bimbo tells the girls that Ian told her about HoHo and Gaystruction flirting and popping each other’s back zits all night. Janelle is pretty unhappy at this news. She’s not about to let some peen steer the game away from her. She’ll make sure she gets HoHo out. Well done, Nurse Bimbo! I have no idea if that was an actual game move or she just needed girls to talk to about getting looked over for a skinnier, skankier piece. Either way, she seals my temp love for her when she says “Y’all know what sucks? Losing to Staten Island.” Also said by….can’t think of one other person that’s lost to Staten Island. Sadsmellsliketrashtwentyfoursevenhorns.
HoHo finds Brit to talk game. Brit, talking like a Staten Island local (ie with her mouth full) so that HoHo can understand her, explains that she has no idea what’s going on, and her advice to Ho is to just be quiet and not mess anything up further by trying to talk game to anyone. Um…go get em!! HoHo just keeps scrunching her face and saying “I know. I know.” Brit gets pissed and does an imitation of HoHo saying I know a million times. Hilarious.
Brit goes up to see Boogie. She’s still eating. I don’t know why this fascinates me, but it does. They’re not sure what will happen once all their players are gone. If Nurse is evicted, will Dan automatically go? And if the coaches are put into the game, won’t the HGs just turn on them and immediately get them evicted? Brit thinks they’re way too stupid for that, and we all know that only smart people can win Big Brother.
Shall I go on?