Mike Boogie jumps in, presumably once he put in his hearing aid and discovered there was a fight happening. “Willie, who died and made you boss?” he asks.
“I’m not going to sit up there and have people say I’m saying things and I didn’t say them!” Willie responds. Not too good at stringing sentences together, our Willie Hantz.
“I’m gonna eat some Fruit Loops because that’s what I do!” mocks Boogie. DAMN, ANOTHER FRUIT LOOPS BURN?! How much did Kellogg’s pay to instigate this fight? This is some killer viral cereal marketing! Boogie essentially wins the fight for Frank by yelling at the rest of the house, “You’re going to let [Willie] bully you all because his brother was on a reality show?” It’s a good way to turn Willie into the villain, but I have to take note of the fact that Boogie is using the act of being on a reality show as a bad thing, when he is not only currently on a reality show but has been living off his persona as “Mike Boogie from Big Brother” for over an entire decade now. Shut up, Boogie.
Julie returns after the break with questions for the houseguests. Oh BOY. This is always the most inane part of these live episodes, as none of these people are smart enough to think up something interesting to say on live TV. Case in point: her first question is to JoJo (WHY?) about the mood in the house. “Why you gotta aks [sic] me this one?” JoJo whines. NEXT.
As a super fan, Ian is asked about being on the show. Julie, come on, now. You know what he’s going to say. Predictably, he loves it. This is some exciting stuff right here. To mix it up, Julie decides to do some word association. Oh good, I’m sure these people will be great at this. Wil and his terrible hat, which is too despicable to describe, go first: one word to describe the past 13 days. “Oh, goodness!” is his word. To his credit, he clarifies that that was actually two. So he can’t follow simple instructions, but at least he can count to two. Ashley goes next, and her word is “loosey-goosey” which is not a word, is technically two words as well, and also means absolutely nothing. She failed on three accounts there. “I’ll let it slide,” says Julie, putting Ashley on Interview Probation. Hopefully forever. For some reason, this hasn’t convinced Julie that this is a failed exercise, so she asks Willie for his word. “Crazy,” he settles on, and I pour myself a bigger drink.
“Why yes, I do only buy hats that Mary Tyler Moore has thrown in the air.”
Then she turns to Boogie, who is sporting a “Where’s Will?” shirt, which is maybe the saddest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. This is a 40-year-old guy, famous for being a sidekick, playing a reality TV show game with a bunch of 20-year-old models, now wearing a T-shirt actually BEGGING for the guy he was a sidekick to a decade ago?! Can we sink any lower? I think not. Society is over. Let’s all vote for Romney and just let our nation crumble to dust.