Chef Yell is the first person to stand up to Frank and tell him to STFU. “Do you know how this game is played?” Frank waves him off and tells him “You fight like a bob on a fish pole!” HAHAHAHAH!!! I’m using that at the first possible chance I get, hard blink and all. Frank seems completely shocked that the other players would consider putting up his only ally. Then, in the extremely hard blink of his eyes, Ashley is sent home. This wins the house more yelling and shouting, and he tells Ian flat out that he’s a terrible person. Brit fake cries and begs him to spare Ian’s feelings! Um, Brit? Ian is an evil mastermind, mkay? He doesn’t need anyone to stick up for h…wait he just pooed on the floor. Britney has so much to love and so much to hate all at the same time. She’s like…Big Brother.
Ian says that he feels like a horrible person, and Dan, in broken brah-nglish, assures him that as long as you’re a horrible person to someone who’s a more horrible person than you, God’s ok with it. Also, Ian’s such a good, dependable eunuch that Dan would set the kid up with his sister. If she has even half the facial Downs genes Dan has, run the other way. You’ve got hairless armpits now, kid, you can rule the dating world! Ian isn’t convinced yet, so Dan says “You’re a renegade now.” What a compliment! The only other Renegade was Memphis, whom Dan beat last time. Have fun with that position, sucka!
Frank pulls Dani and Shane aside. He is obsessed with getting Dan out and wants their help. Shane just nods and mutters brah but Dani takes this moment to start fake crying and trying to talk through all the food in her retainer. I can’t listen to her. I feel like I’m getting spit all over my face.
Brit and Ian come in, but Ian’s immediately kicked out. LOL. Brit begs Frank to be nice to the kid, but Frank is calm now and says that his white trash anger spree is over for now. Let’s watch Dani fake cry more! She can’t betray Dayuuuuuun! She cayuuuun’t! Frank hugs her and assures her “You’re a baby doll in my book and that’ll never change!” AWW! Bye, hooker. He would have tried to make out with her, but … retainer.
Britney goes to talk to Shane about betraying Dan. She has no problem with it, and he has no thought in his head, but all this stress has made him balder, God bless his heart.
Brit goes to meet Frank in the pantry and pledge her allegiance. He says that he trusts her and just doesn’t wanna get stabbed in the back again. Poor guy. That’s just never gonna happen. He’s gonna have to win every Veto for the rest of the season to win this thing, but…well, just go through the cast in your head. My point is that that’s entirely possible.