Finally, Dan and Jenn return, and Ian removes himself from the block. “Dan, please stand – oh, you are standing! Pardon me!” Julie says. Dan is ignoring Julie left and RIGHT tonight. His ego trip has gone too far, you guys. Does he want to win this season and host the show next year, too?! Destroy him, Julie.
Anyway, Dan nominates Danielle.
Wait, WHAT? The audience literally gasps, as if they had just witnessed Shane discover the cure for cancer. What is going ON with Dan? My best guess is that this is another facet of his “convince everyone I hate Danielle” plan, which is pretty silly because once Joe is kicked out, then Jenn is the only person in the house who isn’t in your alliance. This seems showy for showy’s sake. Which I guess I’m fine with, as long as we get another episode full of Danielle sobbing at how evil her main ally is.
As we go to commercials, we see a panicked Danielle say, “IAN?” as Ian walks away from her. “SHANE?” she asks, as Shane, too, walks off. It is truly one of the saddest things I’ve ever seen. Is there suicide watch in the Big Brother house? Danielle is dangerously close tonight.
Sadly, not even Danielle’s famous impression of a mannequin could get the house back on her side.
When we come back from commercials, Julie gives Danielle and Joe a chance to speak, and they both give boring speeches, aside from the fact that Joe references his “strong ass loyalty.” Ass loyalty? I would think Shane would be the one with ass loyalty in this house.
Live voting isn’t that exciting, because everyone votes out Joe. Yay! We’re free from Joe! (Also, dumb move on Jenn’s part to not try to break up some obvious alliances. Jenn, Jenn, Jenn. So disappointing.)
Before his Chenterview, Joe takes a massive shit in the studio.
Joe hugs everyone goodbye, and then greets the live audience like a MANIC GORILLA ESCAPED FROM THE ZOO. It’s awful. Joe thinks he was voted out because of a showmance, which shows how good a player he was this season. “We never really saw you make any big moves in this game. You never won any competitions. Was that your strategy?” Julie asks, twisting the knife, clearly punishing him for his earlier refusal to leave the nomination chair when she demanded it. To his credit, Joe admits that he was trying his best to win stuff, but he just wasn’t good enough. But Julie isn’t done yet. Julie is out for blood, you see.
Like a lion tamer cracking her whip, Julie reminds America who is in charge of this show, with one of her best interview moments of all time. Everything leading up to this was just twisting the knife; now Julie plunges it in, finishing Joe off: “Final question: what exactly is that on your chin?”