Previously on Big Brother:
Dan showed off a large collection of Jesus-y shirts,
Janelle wore a jacket made of our razor blades in case slimy ass Boogie tried to hug her,
and Willie tried to lead a revolution against, well, he didn’t know, exactly. The important thing is that he called a meeting and yelled a lot and stuff. Then he got in a fight with Frank/Richard Carrot Top Simmons about cereal…or something. Oh yeah. And the Playmate left. I forgot about her til I saw her picture right now. I still can’t remember her well, but boy does she have pretty hair.
You must have been on the wrong cereal’s side.
We open with Frank doing his crazy hard blink and me getting super uncomfortable.
I’m not sure about the nickname I have for Frank, but it’s sure as shit nicer than the one Big Brother has for him. Frank Unemployed. Rude much BB?
Willie is all butt hurt that he went from top to bottom overnight. It all started with him making horrifying, bigoted gay slurs!! Call GLAAD! If Willie isn’t forced to make an anti bullying vlog for Trevor Project by the end of all this I’m protesting! WAHWAHWAAAH! Come on. I’m not suggesting that he’s not a dumb redneck who probs would make a gay slur, but he didn’t last epi. He did a pretty decent impression of Wil with one L’s grating helium voice. If anyone is hurting the gay movement, it’s One L’s wardrobe.
Wonder Woman has sent an email to Big Brother requesting her bracelet back. So she can gay bash you with it.
Dan decides to turn boo into boobies by using his second loss in a row as an excuse to hold his last remaining bimbo in his arms.
….and the one before her.
Dan shout talks in the Diary Room about how much like poker Big Brother is. And then he tries to poke her again.
God you feel good. I’ll try to make this as immaculate as possible.
Poor Boogie is still walking around in his Where’s Will? shirt and his Jessica Fletcher face.
On the phone with his cell provider changing his cell phone number, I’d guess.