Richard Simmons got lots of Ruffles in his basket, and he was left his favorite t-shirt: blink hard for BB.
There’s a pic of him as a kid with a mullet, which isn’t the shocker. It’s that he graduated from something.
Simmons is having a surreal moment being in the HOH room. Which of course means that he blinks. HARD.
I have to press stop so I can google “hard blinking symptom of” and the answer popped right up: Tourette’s. YAY!! I love that syndrome! COCK! FUCKFUCKFUCK! RETARD! Whatever medication he’s taking to suppress the outburst of bad words? I hope he stops. It would make him about five thousand times more interesting.
Boogie, of course, gets his own HOH room. His basket has a bouquet of Will’s dirty underwear and discarded Keenex, and also a pic of Baby Boogie, who looks just like his dad.
On cue, Nurse Bimbo squeals “Is that yooooou?” LOL. He explains to her that it’s his baby, and she asks how you go about making those.
Willie leaves the HOH to get some love and comfort from his coach, Britney. Unfortunately for him, she’s not built like that. She does give him a lot of eye rolls, though! Also, some face scrunches, eyebrow raises, and a lovely air of disgust. I would be afraid, cuz she’s waving her lip gloss around like a weapon.
Do I need to blind myself with this lip gloss to show you how STUPID YOU ARE?!?!
Willie’s not scared though, just annoyed. She goes on and on about what a jackass he is and how he’s fucked up the game for everyone and how he’s doing a shit job, but the only time a dude has to listen to that crap from a woman is when he’s dating her, married to her, or being served by her at the DMV. Willie tries the whole “I just wanna play for me” thing, but she just waves that gloss around and gives him stink eye. All he seems to be able to hear is:
She won’t let up. I could watch this for hours.
The big question in all this: Why does Willie always have a pillow between his legs? Again? He’s got a thing with that. Either his wiener is giant or tiny. Discuss.
The next segment is all about Shane and Nurse Bimbo flirting. It’s kind of amazing how almost hot mediocre people who look like audience members of the Dr Phil Show always find each other, ain’t it?
Ronnie Karam has been with TVgasm since 2006 , which has given him the opportunity to make fun of hundreds of TV's most loved and hated reality whores. His plan in life was to be Julia Roberts but that plan was stolen by, well, Julia Roberts. He'll get you one day, JULIA ROBERTS!! When not making himself giggle for the gasm, Ronnie performs improv and sketch comedy at IO West in Hollywood a couple of times weekly while using the lovely California days to audition for commercial roles such as "ADORABLE MEXICAN UNCLE". Seriously. He would like to thank Jesus, Buddha and Xenu for the blessings they've bestowed. The writers here are the best around, and he's honored to be associated with them. Find video archives at CankleTV.com, or follow on Twitter @flipit