Blue (with Julia Stiles) Recap 1: Mom

Hi Gasmii,

I’ve been on a webisode kick lately and just feel compelled to talk about a few that I consider outstanding.  Blue caught my eye, mostly because it has Julia Stiles in it, but once I started watching I couldn’t stop. So let me share this gem with all of you.

The first episode opens up with a close up of Julia Stiles.

I never realized that she has wonky eye.

But this thought doesn’t last a minute, because suddenly the camera is panning down and she’s slowly taking off her clothes, while she makes eye contact with a man. Who can think about wonky eye when a woman looks this good?

I’m feeling the same way, mister.

As hot Julia slowly heads into the arms of the waiting man, it’s clear she’s working to seduce him. The chemistry is instant and just as they are about to kiss, a phone starts ringing. The man tells her it isn’t his, so she rushes over to the nightstand, checks it and decides to ignore it.

She returns to the man and apologizes. He asks for her name. She tell him her name is Blue. Then she kisses him. He says he’s surprised that she kisses and if it hadn’t been clear before, the time has come to reveal that Blue is a hooker. She tells the nameless man that she trusts her gut when she decides who she is willing to kiss. They get back down to business.

The phone rings again.

Blue promises to give the man a discount as she has to take the call. She sneaks into the bathroom and you can hear her saying things like vector, derivatives, multiples of pi, and continuum.

Holy crap, my hot hooker is a genius!

When she finishes the call, Blue’s customer asks her who it was. She doesn’t want to tell him, but he points out that she’s taking calls on his dime, so she admits it was her son. He seems interested, even as they get back down to business and asks how old the boy is. She says he’s 13 and she can’t help but glow with pride as she mentions he’s taking AP physics.

Blue takes charge and they begin the dirty deed. But as she’s riding the magic pony, the man points out that he knew a Blue once from Simi Valley. Blue slows down. He mentions her real name was Francine. She stops. He smiles and announces his name – Cooper.

That awkward moment when your darkest secret and your past collide.

Blue dismounts and races to the bathroom, slamming the door. But a second later she comes back blazing and tells the man he doesn’t know shit about her.

I’m no better – I just got out of prison.

That calms Blue down a little and she tries to think back on a Cooper from her high school days. He manages to make her laugh, even as she’s putting on her clothes and clearly about to head out. She starts to recall him and goes through a list of his traits that she can remember – he was funny, a good runner, and he tells her she was the girl they all wanted to kiss. It’s a really weird moment – he’s still probably got his dong hanging out, although we can’t see it, and she’s putting on her clothes, somewhat mollified but still angry and they’re talking about his mother turning 60. I can’t imagine being in such a situation.

Blue’s phone rings again, and this time she does answer it, since, as far as she’s concerned, this date is over. It’s her son again, asking about a math question and Cooper holds his hand out to take the phone. Blue gives him a look like there is no way in hell she would let her son talk to him, but he is insistent. She reluctantly hands over the phone and tells Cooper her son’s name is Josh.

That awkward moment when your sex client coaches your son.

I’m pretty sure Blue wants to kill him right about now.