Boardwalk Empire Recap: Breathe, Nucky

Inside, Nucky’s still dealing with a delirious German in agony and a saucy medical student who has no need to kiss Nucky’s ass. But Samuel’s a sincere young man and rather than sass Nucky, he finally pulls the bullet out as Nucky whispers to Eddie that it’s okay.

Back outside, Gyp’s giving Chalky a song-and-dance about how he has no interest in bilking money out of him. That’s not how he operates, because look at them. They have a lot in common. Chalky’s all “the hell?” Gyp thinks they were both left out in the sun too long, and Chalky was left even longer, but as Dunn stews over not getting to put the beat down on someone, Chalky sasses back that Gyp just hasn’t finished cooking.

Gyp’s still practicing his poses for next week’s GQeditorial but tells Chalky he’s going to treat him good. Better than he was treated before and wants to shake on it. NONONONONONO. Never shake a Sicilian’s hand when death is on the line. Or something like that. Chalky doesn’t listen to me, though, and when they shake, Gyp pulls him in and, no lie, I flinched at that moment. Instead, Gyp says that he’ll give Chalky $25K if he lets Gyp walk in the house and drag Nucky out by his dick. That’s pretty specific? What if you just drag him out by, say, his shoulder. What’s that worth?

I’m a handsome man.

Nucky hears the part about getting dragged out by his dick but not what follows and starts to draw his gun. Samuel tells him that if they don’t stitch Eddie up, now, he won’t last another five minutes. What a conundrum…what will Nucky do? Oh, look. He does the right thing and stays with Samuel. Broken clock, twice a day.

Chalky stands by Nucky and lies to Gyp that he hasn’t seen Nucky in weeks. He pays Nucky and Nucky leaves him to his business, so he’s got no dog in Nucky’s hunt. Gyp thinks he’ll still take a stroll in Chalky’s house, and give him the money, either way. As a “gesture.” Samuel and Nucky take a moment to see what’s about to happen.

Chalky lies that he’s got a “private affair” going on. Says that all Gyp’s men might set her off and he doesn’t want to lose his dick over Gyp. Gyp takes Chalky at his word…then offers any of Chalky’s men the $25K. It’s up for grabs for anyone who brings him Nucky. Then Gyp ominously tells Chalky he wants them to get along before telling Tonino they’re gonna need more guns.

Nucky’s been listening the whole time and not paying attention at all to Samuel, who’s finished stitching up Eddie. Samuel tells Nucky’s he done so he can take his hand off Eddie’s mouth, unless he plans to asphyxiate him. Heh. Nucky feebly asks if Eddie’s going to live, but Samuel reminds Nucky that he’s just a student.

I really, really suck.