Boardwalk Empire Recap: Listen to Eli

With Mickey out of the way, it’s time to put Owen in his place. As Eli watches, Nucky asks what’s happening with Rowland Smith. Owen doesn’t remember the name and Nucky bugs out, bitching about how he was the other guy who robbed Mickey. Mr. Poofles must have gotten Owen really tired and fuzzy-headed, because Owen actually tells Nucky that Smith was Manny’s job. Seriously, Owen, I don’t like you very much but even Mickey managed to be sympathetic in his face off against Nucky, it doesn’t take much. Just remembering to follow up on the murder you ordered a couple of weeks ago. It’s not like you forgot to pick up lemons.

One last barb at Owen about second guessing him and Nucky’s off to shit all over his last possible ally in AC as Eli comes over and wants to talk to Nucky about Gyp Rosetti and Tabor Heights. Nucky assumes Eli’s there to complain but he wants to help sort the situation out. He thinks serving the time was penance and he can get back into Nucky’s good graces but Nucky shuts him down, telling Eli that letting him just go to prison is “the last gift” he’ll ever give Eli. Wow, Nucky sucks.

Tell me about it.

At the hospital, Margaret and Dr. Mason are getting their women’s clinic all ready for the opening but since St. Theresa’s is a Catholic hospital they need to have the materials offered run by a nun for approval. Who finds the word “vagina” infelicitous. The nun’s “never liked the sound of it,” so Mason actually sasses the nun and tells her he’s never enjoyed Brussel sprouts but he doesn’t deny their existence. She isn’t the scary nun who told Margaret Teddy’s a firestarter, though, so she’s just amused by the analogy. But she finds any language, medical or otherwise, referring to lady bits problematical.

Margaret wonders how they can discuss women’s health without discussing women’s anatomy teeing it up for Mason to “dirty” talk to the nun, using such blue language as “intercourse,” “fertilization,” and…“birth.” The nun’s a little less amused by this sassing, and wonders if Mason fancies himself wicked. Then calls him one of my favorite words, a jackanape, sitting in the back of the room finding his childish jokes so very clever. Undeterred, Mason laughs it off saying that sounds like his cousin, Francis. Margaret playfully/scoldingly shoves a brown paper wrapped box at Mason, who’s infinitely amused by embarrassing the nun.

Yeah, I sassed a nun and said “intercourse” to her. What of it?

The nun’s found a new word she objects to: pregnant. While Margaret’s trying to remember if Irish nuns were this prudish, the nun suggests “gravid” as a noble alternative. Mason suggests “with child.” Moving on, and “menstruation” is just… “Good Latin?” Mason offers, but it still has to do with lady bits which makes the nun squeamish. Margaret tries to argue her point but the nun shuts her down. Then asks what all those brown paper wrapped boxes are…Ko-tex? Mason tells her they’re sanitary napkins with the smirkiest smirk that ever smirked on his face. She’s horrified that such items are sold out in the open. Margaret says they’re quite new and tries to offer the nun a box. The nun looks mortified and hightails it out of there so Margaret can have a hopeful little moment with Mason because it’s finally coming together.

This friendship brought to you by Kotex.