Boardwalk Empire Recap: Listen to Eli

Owen needs to take out his Nucky rage on something and starts throwing the kid around, asking his name. For his part, the kid’s kind of a snotty little dumbass, telling Owen he’s Lon Chaney or Norma Talmadge or Baby Peggy, while Owen punches him. Of course, Owen winces from one punch, so I’m guessing the kid wasn’t that hurt. Turns out the kid is Rowland Smith, who thinks Owen’s mean to children (heh). Owen calls Nucky at the Ritz and Rowland has his first “Oh shit” moment.

Gyp and the goons are eating at the diner and planning how to get the booze from Tabor Heights up to NYC. Gyp’s plan is to move it up the coast. He and his main goon are simpatico, but another goon obviouses that they’ll have to do it at night. Gyp mocks that they’ll probably needs boats, too, but he’s not taking umbrage because he’s in a good mood.

At that moment a waitress walks past and Gyp grabs her by the wrist but “playfully” tells her one day, he’s going to take her out back and “show her how to really make sauce.” I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure that was dripping with innuendo. The waitress didn’t pick up on it, though, and tells him she can’t cook. Gyp tells her she just has to stir…he’ll provide the heat. Then he kisses her palm just to make sure his innuendo didn’t go over her head again.

Dayum, Gyp.

Nucky’s down at Smith’s house and they’re kind of lollygagging while Nucky has a smoke. Rowland tries to bum one and charm Nucky. It’s not really working, but A for effort. Nucky wants to know how old Rowland is. He’s 16…next month. But he knows who Nucky is. Says Nucky gave his family a Christmas turkey one year. Then they exposit about the booze and how half of it was Waxey Gordon’s. Nucky jokingly asks if Waxey gave his mother a turkey, too, but Rowland says nah, Waxey’s a crook.

This amuses Owen, who’s realizing how messy the whole thing got now that Nucky’s planning to take out a 15-year-old. He offers to handle it however Nucky sees fit since it’s his fault, but Nucky just looks at him like he’s the human cockroach instead of Mickey and gives Rowland a cigarette.

Before he can light it, though, some cars pull up. Federal agents. Prohies. Rowland recognizes the one in Waxey Gordon’s pocket. Nucky wonders if Rowland has a clue why they’re there and Rowland thinks to kill him. Nucky still thinks Rowland’s trying to con them but when they kill his two random thugs, Nu ky realizes Rowland might not be shining him on.

Now do you believe me?

As the prohies bust into the house, Rowland, Nucky and Owen are hiding out in the flooded basement and Nucky ruins yet another one of his bitching pairs of shoes. The prohies search the house and one figures they’re hiding out in the basement. They can hear through the floorboards, though, and hide further back where it’s really scary, and flooded. The prohie shines a flashlight around the basement but deems it empty because he’s afraid of the dark.