Boardwalk Empire Recap: Promises, Promises

Welcome back, Gasmii! And was this ever an eventful week in Atlantic City, so let’s just dive right in.

It’s a hazy day in May and Atlantic City is celebrating King Neptune Day, also known as the day that fucked Gillian up forever. While some local geezer gives the King Neptune speech welcoming all to Atlantic City, Richard walks along the beach with a purpose. And two ice cream cones. But kudos, Richard, on finally getting your big boy hat. He stops briefly and we see that he’s there with Julia and Tommy, who are playing in the sand. Awww.

Can’t a bird shit on Richard’s hat to make it a little less sweet?

As King Neptune keeps speechifying, Richard, Julia and Tommy pose in fauxmilial bliss and a swimmer gets hit on the leg by a bottle. The opening credits have finally rolled in and the shore is awash in whiskey bottles, to the delight of the swimmers. Tommy, being Tommy, wants to know what all the racket’s about. Richard suggests that maybe it’s a sea serpent. Heh. Two jokes in one season? Good for you Richard. Baby steps.

King Neptune has lost the crowd as they’re all running into the water to scoop up the hooch, and wonders if he should continue. Bader and Fleming are there, and Bader tells him to just blow the horn and be done with it. Fleming’s impressed with Bader’s class while King Neptune doesn’t waste any time in scurrying his spindly geezer legs into the ocean to grab his own bottle. And there are plenty.

I see why Nucky picked you instead of me to be mayor.

Up in Tabor Heights, it’s a more orderly process as motor boats head out to retrieve the crates while the men unload the boats. Gyp’s sporting a stylish, summer weight, mauve suit and pitching a fit because they lost a dozen crates. Tonino lets him know it was actually more like TWO dozen crates which, unsurprisingly, does not make Gyp feel better.

Gyp wants to rip the captain’s head off but Tonino tries to explain that it was rough seas the night before. Gyp wasn’t kidding when he said he knows nothing about the ocean because he thinks that it was just doing what the ocean does which is…capsize boats and harbor 50-foot jelly fish? Who knows what the ocean does. It just scares the crap out of me.

Some tubby guy in a workman’s hat pipes up that it could be rogue waves. Gyp makes his Scooby Doo face of confusion and wants to know who this tubby guy is and what the hell he’s talking about. He’s Tonino’s cousin Franco. Tonino tries in vain to protect his cousin by cutting him off saying he’s full of shit, because he’s seen what Gyp’s capable of when you point out you know something he doesn’t, but Gyp wants to know what Franco’s talking about.

Dead Man Talking