Boardwalk Empire Recap: Richard Makes a Friend

Meanwhile, later that evening when the children are in bed, Emily whispers to Norman BatesTeddy to tell her again. Teddy thinks it’s too scary but Emily promises not to get scared. He conflates the story about the gypsy with the púca and tells Emily that the gypsy’s so mean because he used to be a rabbit and if he doesn’t like you he burns you up. Emily’s wonders if he knows about them, but Teddy says he just knows that “Daddy’s” not there. Emily’s worried that he’ll come back. Teddy promises to protect them then gets the knife he hides under his pillow and tells her he’ll stab the gypsy in the face to protect them. Um.

This scene really needs a Bernard Herrmann score.

Billie comes home to see Nucky drinking it up and waiting for her. She’s a little drunk and a little butthurt that he went AWOL for three days and missed opening night, but gets over it when he asks how it went and she gets to repeat her glowing review. She tells him about some movie director who gave her his card but she’s too focused on taking off her stocking to remember his name. The phone rings and since Billie’s still on a drunken five-second delay, Nucky answers.

As she tries to grab the phone from Nucky he tells the caller she’s not there but the greasy Southern accent and purple language tells Nucky it’s his great good fortune because it’s Means and he was calling for Nucky, anyway. Nucky wants to know how Means got the number so he says, and I quote, “Oh, your naughty virgin’s listed. I do hope her hospitality exceeds that of Miss Randolph,” then sniffs that she just bought him stale coffee in a cheap diner. Nucky corrects that he was the cheapskate then asks why Means is calling. Oh, he’s just offering his services as a fount of information about Daugherty, since Daugherty can’t keep any allies except “that blubbering walrus, Jess Smith.”

Fiddle de dee, none of those Ohio Yankees understand what I’m saying.

Nucky asks what this information would cost him. Means says the same $40K he’s no longer paying Daugherty. Nucky thinks that’s steep but Means offers to introduce Nucky to someone who’ll find a mutually beneficial answer for Nucky and Randolph on how to get rid of Daugherty. (Trust me, I speak Floridly Confusing Old Time Southern English.) Nucky tells him to come down to Atlantic City the next night and he’ll have a suite at the Ritz waiting so they can discuss this. Billie fakes caring about his ish, but Nucky’s not about to make the same mistake he made with Margaret and just tells her it’s nothing worth talking about.

Margaret’s brushing her extensions when she thinks she hears something outside. She looks out the window toward the greenhouse but can’t see anything. Showing the manners of a badger, Margaret calls Katy in the middle of the night and takes umbrage when Katy sleepily tells Margaret, without a hint of anger or jealousy mind you, that Owen’s not with her because she figured he was with Margaret. Margaret just hangs up without even saying, I don’t know, “Sorry I was a self-absorbed bitch and woke you up demanding your boyfriend come down here and protect me because I let the bodyguard MY HUSBAND stationed at the house go and now I’m scared. Go back to sleep.” Ah, she really has settled into being the rich lady of the house. But she’s also a gangster’s wife so she goes to the closet to get the double-barreled shotgun.