Boardwalk Empire Recap: Richard Makes a Friend

A younger vet accuses him of being a Bolshevik but Gramps is cranky and tells him to grow up and read up about the Illuminati or the Freemasons or the Bilderberg Group or whatever was the 1923 worldwide conspiracy…then he calls Richard Half Moon. Oh hell no. Literally dozens of fans are gathering in tumblr chat rooms planning their strongly worded letters to Terence Winter demanding an apology for insulting dear, sweet, couldn’t hurt a fly except when he’s killing people Richard. We, too, have standards.

Please Mister, you don’t want to piss off the tumblr fandom.

Anyway, the bartender sticks up for Richard and shoves a drink at the older vet, Sagorsky, and tells him to shut up. Sagorsky’s still got a bug up his ass so he tells the bartender that “one of these days” he’s going to teach the much younger man a lesson. Luckily, fight night’s tomorrow night so here’s his chance. Then they start pounding their chest and shrieking like howler monkeys to prove who’s the bigger man while Richard sits in his chair quietly singing “Happiness is a Warm Gun” to himself because all this aimless machismo makes him miss Jimmy.

Nucky’s down at Union Station buying his morning “coffee” and a pack of Luckys while a couple of Elliott Ness looking guys nod toward him. With his flask and his cigarettes, Nucky starts to saunter over to his track when the suits walk up. They banter and toy with Nucky that maybe he wants to stay in DC because the Lincoln Memorial is finally finished and it’s pretty spectacular. While that’s undeniably true, Nucky has to get back to New York to see Billie’s crappy show.

Nucky toys back and asks if they’re with the Chamber of Commerce. Nah, they’re with the Justice Department, Daugherty’s outfit. Nucky’s peeved but they have badges so they preen a little more, asking after what’s in the bag. Nucky tries to go to his train but one of the suits takes out the flask and tells him it’s a violation of the Volstead Act while the other suit punches, skinny, little Nucky in the gut because sometimes all a guy needs to feel like a man is to beat up someone who’s 20 years older and half his size.

Margaret’s in her bedroom looking at the most recent issue of “Birth Control Review” when notKaty comes up to tell her that Cornelia’s there. But Cornelia’s no longer her friend because she’s expressed an interest in Owen so she snots about Cornelia understanding that Owen doesn’t live there, right? Yeah, she has actual business that she needs to discuss with Margaret.

The 1923 version of Cosmopolitan

Margaret comes downstairs and gets concerned. Cornelia’s there with Child of the Corn Teddy and a dirty sack. This can’t be good. Margaret dismisses Teddy to the parlor but he tells her he needs his dirty sack like he’s telling her his nose itches. This kid has no emotions. With Teddy gone, Cornelia tries to soften the blow and says she’s not trying to be melodramatic but she found Teddy in her garage with a dirty rag sack, kerosene and matches. Unaware that Margaret just shit-talked her to the maid, Cornelia says she loathes busybodies and gives Margaret back the bag while promising not to gossip about it and offering to be a good friend and listen if Margaret ever needs to talk.