Boardwalk Empire Recap: Year of the Pig

Nucky’s lecturing some guy off camera about how he never used to eat breakfast but now it’s his favorite meal. With his patronizing done, it’s time to get down to business. He sits in front of some tied-up random named Nate and while Manny looks on tells Nate he’s not angry because Nate’s a thief and they steal. Nate’s all “Whuh-huh?” and Nucky goes into a spiel about Nate just doing his job as a thief when he and an accomplice ripped off Mickey’s warehouse full of booze.

Mickey just noms away like he doesn’t have a care in the world, so Nucky reiterates his spiel, this time asking Mickey what thieves do. Mickey’s momentarily confused and says “They…steal?” So Nucky asks what a warehouse owner does. Mickey, much more confident this time, says “Store…things?” then giggles his mewling, weaselly giggle when Nucky tells him he’s right. Nucky posits to Nate, who wasn’t doing his job? The thief who exists to steal or…”the fucking imbecile who left a warehouse full of liquor unlocked while he was taking a goddamn dump?” Mickey, to his credit both knows the answer is “the imbecile” but doesn’t seem too put out by it.

I am what I am.

With the attempted Mickey shaming out of the way (can’t shame someone who has none), Nucky repeats again that he’s not angry with Nate. Like a dumb, petty criminal Nate relaxes and tells Nucky that someone named Rowland Smith was his wheelman. Nucky seems satisfied with this answer and grabs his coffee to leave, telling Manny to untie Nate…but first, put a bullet in his head. D’oh. Nate tries to fight back, begging not to be killed but Nucky’s got no fucks to give and he leaves with Owen. While Manny tells him that “certain people you do not steal from” Mickey just keeps nomming as Manny shoots Nate. Way harsh, Mickey.

Over at the Thompson house, Margaret’s presiding over a much larger staff including a butler named Philip, preparing for their New Year’s Eve party. Lillian and Teddy are discussing how to say “Auld Lang Syne” and Margaret answers one of the mysteries of the ages when she tells us it’s Scottish for “long, long ago.” Now tells us WHY we sing it. Margaret and the children talk about the party and that they’ll sing “Auld Lang Syne” at midnight then Margaret reminds us that Teddy’s not her favorite when she tells him not to brag after he tells Emily that “Daddy” says he can stay up until 1923.

Luckily Teddy’s a sociopathic firestarter so he doesn’t personalize it and runs to the radio when a story about Carrie Duncan comes on. She’s an “aviatrix” and Teddy wants to know what that means. Margaret tells him it means “female aviator” so he incredulously says “a lady who flies an aeroplane?” Philip can’t believe it either, but Margaret just ignores him because he’s kind of a dick, and exposits to Teddy that Carrie will be the first person to fly non-stop across the continent. Lillian exposits that she flies from Cape May in the morning and Philip gets off one more dick comment before Margaret shuts him down. And with everyone in their place, Margaret signs for a delivery on her way out to a meeting while an extra carries in some “Egyptian” decorations. Okay.

Sometimes I hate you all, but mostly I hate the butler right now.