Boardwalk Empire Recap: Year of the Pig

Gillian calmly forges Jimmy’s (JIMMY!) name on a check then wistfully looks at it before swanning into a parlor full of women while a harpist plays. Gillian introduces Evelyn who will be “joining them at the Artemis Club” and lest you think Gillian went legit, or lesbian, it’s just a fancy cathouse. You can tell because everyone’s wearing drop waists and no one’s lounging around with her tits out.

Gillian lets the women know that due to it being New Year’s Eve, the men are going to extra drunk and gross and wanting to get the women as drunk as they are. Gillian “urges” them to resist because they’ll be fined $25 if they don’t. She tells them to be polite, be charming and totally forget that they’re prostitutes. Then she remembers she basically hates all of humanity and euphemistically calls men pigs while telling one of her girls to “try a darker shade of lip rouge,” aiming for “encouraging” but landing on “judging.”

Miss Gillian’s School for Posh Whores

Having put one of the extras in her place, Gillian tells the women that the Follies are in town so they best expect a visit from Ziegfeld. One of the younger, more idealistic, whores actually says “I heard he’s back with his wife,” (Aw, isn’t that cute?) and Gillian reminds her that without dirty, old, married men they’d be out of business.

Tommy runs in to ask if he can go to the arcade and Richard scoots in behind him. Evelyn, who’s clearly on tumblr, is immediately smitten by the half-faced man. Gillian introduces them. While Richard tries to hide Evelyn says “Charmed, I’m sure,” and Richard has about 50 spasms of confusion. Gillian suggests that Richard take Tommy to “Heckler’s Flea Circus” and Richard blessedly walks Tommy out before he dies of embarrassment.

AWK-WARD!

Over in Chicago, and at a far seedier brothel, Al and a random named Jake are counting money as Torrio whines about his wife and their trip to Naples. Sweetie, have you ever seen both your eyes at once? Take what you can get. Then an extra walks in a pink and blonde man named “Dean O’Banion” and Oh, goody. More Irish versus the Italians crap.

Dean starts off well enough, joking with Al and giving Torrio flowers for his wife, then they sit down to business. Dean’s been encroaching on the territory that Torrio acquired fair and square when Jimmy put a bullet in Sheridan’s head. O’Banion denies and smarts off to Al, inadvertently (?) making a joke at his deaf son’s expense. Then he explains why he was operating to the south of Torrio’s territory but, oops, didn’t realize that the Irish territory to the south of the South Side doesn’t actually go all the way north to his territory. Now he stands corrected.

He’s magically repulsive.