This episode is a trip into reality TV mindf*&^ery. We begin with Jeremiah jumping all over the chance to spring the top secret envelope of DUI docs on Kate in front of Abe and Rebecca. He loves that he can prove that Kate is a hypocrite. When Rebecca asks Kate if you get arrested when you have a DUI, Kate says something that makes all DUI victims seethe with anger, including myself – “They treat you like a common criminal when you’re arrested for a DUI!” Oh, boo hoo, idiot. Besides, I don’t think “common criminals” are murderers or potential murderers like DUI/DWI criminals. Most probably are thieves or deal pot. You could easily have killed or permanently injured someone. Cry me a river, please. (Sorry, I have some experience with this and it really chaps my cheeks.)
They totally treated me like I was endangering the lives of other people. I should sue.
We also learn from the other kids that Kate eats a piece of raw spinach during the day and then gets the rest of her calories from liquor so that she can stay model thin. She has terrible mood swings and is absolutely unpredictable. She works out all hours of the day before going boozing. Instead of genuine concern, they treat her like an asshole for being anorexic. While I don’t like Kate, I can definitely imagine a former Amish female developing such a disorder that gives you control over something in your life that no one else can control for you.
The kids all gather up to visit a porn museum where Sabrina and Rebecca quietly tee-hee at everything, Kate goes all “attention whore”, Abe buys a pack of jimmy hats in the hopes of one day getting laid, and Jeremiah sneaks off to the can to spank it. I made up that last part, but knowing how pervvy he is, that all I can assume. Basically, they act like little kids at a porn shop.
Abe heads out to get an engagement ring for Rebecca for a whopping cost of $300. He can’t understand why no one has diamond and gold rings for that huge amount. He tries to haggle, but he doesn’t realize he’s in the wrong store/section of town. If I go to Jared’s, I’m not going in there to negotiate. If I go to American Jewelry and Loan or Vikon Village (my local dirt mall), then I know I can low-ball at the jewelry counter. Abe needs to work a little more on social norms. He also points out that people may think this is all too soon, but that most people in his community get married by the time they’re 18. Honey, I don’t think “too soon” means “too young”. I think it means that you’ve dated for a total of 5 reality TV episodes, so you can’t possibly be ready for marriage, yet.
Jeremiah tells us that he’s been married and divorced, so he doesn’t think this is such a good idea. However, he is kind enough to spot Abe the $250 he lacks to get the .000234 karat solitaire. I think we’re starting to get to the nitty gritty here. Of course, nothing is explained. We just keep getting these little tidbits as though we already knew everything. We DO know what’s up, but what if we didn’t read the exposes online? They need to treat us as though we don’t already know that Abe and Rebecca are parents and that Jeremiah and Sabrina have both been married and divorced before.