Breaking Amish Recap: Hell’s (Wedding) Bells

Recaps

By Sugarbush | Monday, November 5, 2012 | 10:00 pm | 12 Comments
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Posted in: Breaking Amish, Recaps

Poor little Kate learns the realities of the dating scene and then he lets her pay.  Bad move, Kate.  I learned that the hard way.  You offer to pay for a date with a dickweed like him, he’ll expect you to pay forever.  Not that he deserves another date, but if you’re desperate like I was in my dating years, that’s what happens.

Abe goes to get his ears pierced as a symbol of NOT being Amish.  He first needs to know that he’s not getting his homo ear done…is that still a “thing”?  The earrings are super-tiny, but still Rebecca wants to ensure he doesn’t wear them to their wedding.  Well, dear, they have to stay in for 6 weeks.  Too bad.

Someone knocks at Sabrina’s door.  His name is “Harry the Third”.  Oooookaaaay.  He’s not Mennonite, he’s Baptist.  Oh, goody.  I’d rather date a Mennonite, for sure.  He is wearing a signature tool t-shirt and thinks it’s very nice of Rebecca to ask Sabrina to be maid of honor.  Apparently, Harry the Third doesn’t know how to open his mouth when he talks and doesn’t like that Jeremiah came by to see Sabrina.  He’s Mr. Jealous Pants as he harps on the Jeremiah issue. 

It’s like reverse ventriloquism.

Jeremiah can’t understand why he’s not getting more nooky out of Sabrina since they left NY.  They head out for gelato where he tells her that he was excited to see her.  She glares at him, because he has the audacity to not know that she has a boyfriend even though she never told him.  She cries to us that he is out of control in believing they have a romance just because they had sex twice.  Her cold shoulder should have been good enough for him instead of having her actually use words to express this to him.  She has met Harry the Turd and he’s fantastic.  Yes, that is clear.  Harry is a class act.  Anyone who refuses to move their lips when they talk is beyond trustworthy.

Just because Harry the Eighth looks like this when he’s talking doesn’t mean he’s not amazing!!!

I hate that Sabrina’s behavior is making me feel bad for Jeremiah, because I think Jeremiah is a scuzzball.  She kept asking him to move to Lancaster because “they’re friends”, but he thought it was because she had feelings for him.  He cries that she messed with his mind in his head, but she can’t be responsible for him reading things into things that aren’t things.  Then he tells her that they’ll plan this party in Atlantic City, but after that it’s over. 

…I have no idea what just happened.

You don’t want to date me?!  Fine!  We’re through!  I’m breaking up with you!

Over in Atlantic City, Rebecca is wise enough to worry about whatever Jeremiah is planning for their bachelor parties.  “Somehow” they manage to afford a suite at a hotel.  By “they” I mean “TLC”.  Kate is the last to arrive and she is extremely forgiving after all the bullcrap pulled by Sabrina and Jeremiah.  They go gambling, which is pure evil.  Rebecca can’t go into the casinos or bars, which makes it lame that the plans for this whole night out didn’t involve the bride and groom.  Gee, Sabrina and Jeremiah are like the greatest friends on the planet. 

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Sugarbush
About

Hi, there!  About me...well, let's see.  I like to think of myself as an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, shrouded in a mystery.  Sometimes my personality doesn't even reconcile in my own head.  I'm a really caring and sensitive person, but I have a dark, dry, sarcastic sense of humor which tends gives the impression that I have no soul.  I am married to a great guy who shares my sense of humor and we have a son who, both fortunately and unfortunately, has his mother's personality.   I'm an independent contractor who works from home and keeps the kid all day, everyday.  I've loved to write my whole life and have big, never-to-be-achieved dreams of one day writing a book.  My favorite past time is laughing, which is what brought me to this site.  I can laugh at almost anything, so beware.

12 Comments

  1. 1
    alice
    Posted November 5, 2012 at 10:18 pm

    looks like someone……….is a Mennonite slut …lots like Sabrina needed a bedwarmer in newyork and now after leaving she has another bedwarmer and this one is ready to kill anyone who touches he’s slut..
    now its going to be time for a fake wedding….and afterward a fake honeymoon…abe bangs his wife for the first time “again”..they’ll need a babysitter to care for their real child..in this show kate seemed normal..that hotel their staying in got me to wondering…..who’s paying for all this..oprah???
    theres too much money being tossed around…kate pays for dinner for her moncho man date??? what??

  2. 2
    eyediosmio eyediosmio
    Posted November 6, 2012 at 7:23 am

    For some of these kids, they have major PK syndrome (the pastor’s kid who wants to rebel, but does so VERY badly). Jeremiah is a sleaze.

  3. 3
    ellemenop
    Posted November 6, 2012 at 9:27 am

    “Kate is in NY and goes out on a date with a guy who thinks shirt buttons are purely ornamental.” — hahaha! that almost made me spit coffee on my laptop. that guy was a bigger tool than jeremiah. at least jeremiah is upfront about what a douche he is. this dude, just … wtf? and WHY did kate pay?! i get that she’s trying not to let him think she “owes” him anything, but, jesus, just LEAVE. if he thinks you owe him anything, too bad for him!

    harry the third is yet another dumbass. and he sounds like someone who will beat the shit out of his girlfriends, with his control freak issues. it seems like abe is the only “nice guy” on this show, even if he is a prude and can be a little judgmental. at least he remembers what rebecca looks like and isn’t threatening to kick her ex’s ass.

    tlc probably didn’t even have to pay for that suite. we get free rooms at harrah’s, caesar’s and showboat like every single months. my in-laws live in atlantic city, so we go down there a lot and when our friends use my husband’s points card to play like $3000 at the craps tables, we keep getting comped for rooms, lol. except no one should ever stay at harrah’s, because it is DISGUSTING. i’m not sure which one they stayed at, but the shots of ac had me cracking up because they made it look so clean and nice. hilarious!

    it does suck that they had the party with stuff rebecca could do, but then, there’s very little you can do for someone underage who is getting married. i’ve seen stuff like purse designing parties, but eh. short of a house party, it’s not fun for a bachelorette. when i got married my sister was 17, so i couldn’t invite her to my bachelorette party, which sucked. i guess at least they got the boardwalk embarrassment the next day. all i want to know is WHY wasn’t i around their filming here or when they were in AC? why?! why do i never get to see all the freakshows?! my life is so unfair.

    man, i can’t wait to see this final episode. though, like you, i also hope is the very last.

  4. 4
    mere2142
    Posted November 6, 2012 at 9:40 am

    I thought Abe wanted to be a pilot?

    So in the 30 days since NYC, Sabrina has managed to find and fall madly in love with Mush Mouth? Could that conversation between the two of them be any stranger? It’s sad that I think Jeremiah is actually a few steps above Harry the Turd!

    Great friends – let’s plan a party for Abe and Rebecca with all of the things they hate/can’t do. Way to go.

    And Kate saying her date was being disrespectful as compared to their meeting in the club? Really? I didn’t see any disrespect, just a dude looking for a free meal.

  5. 5
    Helena Handbasket
    Posted November 6, 2012 at 10:45 am

    Uhhh…not really comfortable with someone being called a slut because they slept with some guy twice…especially since she had been married before and isn’t expected to be a happy little virgin.

  6. 6
    ellemenop
    Posted November 6, 2012 at 12:15 pm

    agreed. i don’t really like the term slut anyway. it’s almost ALWAYS used to refer only to women, when men are often much more promiscuous. it’s bs.

  7. 7
    labowner
    Posted November 6, 2012 at 5:07 pm

    I’m starting to think this series is a Rorschach test.

  8. 8
    rebecca pressley
    Posted November 7, 2012 at 7:40 am

    I adopted my stepson when he was 5 years old, his birth mother left the little boy when he was 2 years old because “a child just didnt fit into her lifestyle”. Anway, he is 18 years old now, he knows all about the bio mom and has NO desire to see her or talk to her. She lives in Texas and we are in NC, so that is a good thing I guess. OH, she also owes my husband and the child $13,000 in back child support.

  9. 9
    rebecca pressley
    Posted November 8, 2012 at 6:04 am

    dont mean to sound mean, but Abe reminds of a little retarded boy that looks much older then he is

  10. 10
    Helena Handbasket
    Posted November 26, 2012 at 5:56 am

    Sugarbush, Sugarbush, are you OK?? What happened to our recaps?

  11. 11
    hot cawfee
    Posted December 3, 2012 at 5:16 pm

    Hey– am I crazy or did I see a promo of a new Amish based reality show—-its called Amish Mafia

  12. 12
    labowner
    Posted December 3, 2012 at 5:21 pm

    http://dsc.discovery.com/tv-shows/amish-mafia/about-the-show/about-the-show.htm

    Here you are Hot

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